Chapter 73

Ryder propped himself up. “Okay, say right now we’re doing this. I have you in my bed, kissing you, making love to you.” He gave her a quick kiss. “I know you love me, and you know I love you. But I know you’re in love with David, and you’re my cute hoe who likes my sorta twin and my fucking asshole, older brother.” Mischief and possession filled his eyes, but his love for her was what she saw most. “I know all this, and I know you still love me more than any girl ever will. I know I’ll never love another, and even sharing you, I’m the luckiest guy. ‘Cause I see it in your eyes, babe.” He caressed her cheek. “You fucking love me. Now I just have to help you love all of us the way you want to.”

“How?”

“‘I’m going to kiss you good morning soon, and you’ll go downstairs—probably be captured by

Luc or Tercero. They’ll earn a kiss from you, a few sweet words, then you’ll go home.”

He held her face in place. “David loves you so much, angel. He has hidden it so fucking long, and

I want you to have it. I want you to know he has loved you as much as you’ve loved him. And I want Tercero to give you whatever the fuck he does.” He grunted, adding, “And I want Luc to protect you the ways we cannot. I want you to have everything. Me, David . . . and my fucking brothers. And, yes,

I know that means your panties are coming off for some or all of them.”

“You’re fine with them having me?” she spluttered, not believing him. “Like passing me around?”

“No.” He shook his head, his grip never loosening. “More like you’re our girlfriend, and we’re your boyfriends. And we’re devoted boyfriends as you’re a devoted girlfriend. We get our alone time with you as well as group time when we’re up for it. We’re still devoted to you, as you are to us.”

“How is it devoted if I’m with all of you?”

“‘Cause you’re you, babe.” His lips twitched, then he said, “The night before your dad died, he talked to all of us. I think about it every day. None of us have wanted to tell you about it because, in a way, we all felt something spiritual took place—like your dad knew that was his last time seeing us, and he wanted to make sure we took care of you. For me, at least, it makes everything clear, and I'm not mad about your heart being more than mine. Even if I am a possessive asshole who wants to keep

you to myself, it's like complete peace to know you’re loved so much, I guess.”

Her heart stopped for a full second before beating harder and faster. “What did he say?”

“We were outside playing football, and he was heading to his car. Then he stopped, turned and walked over to our yard. He singled out David, Tercero, Luc, and me. We thought he’d caught us spying on you, or at least I did. But he wasn’t angry. Like I said, it was like time stopped for this moment, and we listened to every word he said.

“He said you liked all of us, and he gave us a look like he knew we already loved you. He told each of us something—how to treat you—but he told all of us not to fight over you. That we all had a role in your life.”

Her eyes watered. “What was yours?”

The most serene expression appeared on his face. “He talked to me last. At first, I thought it meant I was the least impressive to him, but I realized it was the exact opposite. Because he ended up telling me, the littlest shit there, to protect you from everything, even yourself—to show you when you’re lost, you can find your way back home, but I was to never let you go alone. Even if I had to stay hidden from you, I was to stay with you until the end. To keep you, always.” “Really?” she blubbered.

“Really.” He chuckled at her sniffling. “I think he knew I’d already decided you were mine. He knew we were a match the moment he looked into my eyes. But he knew his little girl was special— and she was meant for more than me. I agree.”

Sniffing again and again, she tried to get herself together. The night her dad died, he’d talked to her too.

“Watching those boys again, my darling flame?”

Only five years old but already in love, Jane had looked away from the view outside their window to smile up at her dad before returning her attention to the boys playing football. Her gaze had fallen on David at first, but almost instantly shifted to Ryder.

He called to her like a magnet. As soon as she’d find herself getting closer, though, an uncomfortable heat would surround her, and she’d remember it was David she loved.

Her efforts to not look at Ryder usually meant her eyes drifted toward Tercero, his look-alike. He didn’t play football with the others, but she felt he would be just as good if he had. He simply didn’t want to play. Sometimes, Jane pretended it was because he knew she was watching them, and he wanted to watch her too. She’d see a little smile whenever she’d catch herself staring. It was a game between them, never admitting they were looking.

Embarrassed, Jane switched her focus to Luc. It was like looking into light when darkness was all around. She didn’t understand it, only that he was better than his little brothers and David. For some reason, she wanted him to notice her too, to think she was great all by her little self.

Strong but gentle hands rested on her shoulders. “Which one are you watching today?”

Jane pressed her lips together. Her daddy always caught her watching them, and he’d smile and tell her one day she’d have to choose.

“Still can’t pick between them?” He chuckled, squatting behind her, his chin on her shoulder. “Ah, David and Ryder.” “No,” she tried to argue.

“No?” He kissed her head then watched the boys playing. David had tackled Ryder hard. It looked painful, but Ryder got up, shoving David away from him. “You can’t lie to me—I know they are your main focus. But who else, I wonder?”

“I’m not looking,” she said, crossing her arms. “I’m watching the moon.”

“Hm.” He was quiet for a long time, just watching the boys play as she pretended to stare at the half-moon over them. “Tercero and Luc as well,” he said. “Not the other two. Just David, Ryder, Tercero, and Luc.”

Jane didn’t say anything. How did he always know what she was thinking?

“Most fathers would be upset with their little girl spending her time staring at boys, but you know—I think one of them might be your soulmate.”

She stiffened, her eyes falling immediately to a pair of green eyes looking her way. The magnet again. When she wished it, without even knowing she was doing so, she’d call silently, and he would find her.

“Ah, you see it now.” Her dad grabbed her hand, holding it up to the glass. Ryder was watching as the others huddled together. “See how he only sees you? How nothing else matters to him?”

Her heart had never beat so fast before as she watched the others laughing at him when he held his hand up the same way she was. They were making kissy-faces, even David was. Though the moment the others ignored him, David’s gaze drifted her way, and he held his hand up too.

“That one,” her dad said, and she knew he meant David. “That one is strong. Good heart, good head on his shoulders, loyal. He also only has eyes for you. He’d be perfect if he didn’t always try to do what is expected of him. That’s where they are different; Ryder doesn’t care what’s expected of him. He only wants you to live right before his eyes. I think David might be afraid he’s too much for you. You’d have to show him you’re brave or he’ll smother you.

“But Ryder . . . yes, he will fall into fires and darkness for you. With him, there is no reason to be brave because he believes in you, and he’ll do all to protect you. He’ll hold your hand, give you all of himself, just to watch you glow in the dark. He’ll stand behind you silently but fearless as you roar. Yes, I like him for you.”

Her face warmed at what her dad was saying about Ryder, and she shyly lowered her hand. “Well, David is perfect.”

“Oh?” Her dad chuckled. “Sometimes our heart fools us, and perfect isn’t as perfect as we think. Especially when things get tough.”

She didn’t know what he meant at the time, but she did now. David had been perfect in her eyes from the very beginning, and though he was incredible, and he did his best to put her first, he wasn’t the perfect, infallible guy she imagined him to be. But did it really matter? His heart was good, and he’d given it to her.

“It is difficult,” her dad said. “I suppose it’s too early to expect you to pick—they are great in their own ways—perfect at things the others are not. Perhaps you should wait. Maybe you can try hanging out with girls again.”

“No,” she said quickly, her little heart stinging with rejection from the other girls already. No one liked her.

“One day you’ll find a good girl who doesn’t judge you, baby.” He sighed, watching the boys again. “One day you’ll pick a boy, too.”

“I’ll never pick between them, Daddy. I can’t.” She focused on all four, her heartbeat steadying.

His stare could be felt on the side of her face, and he pressed a kiss to her temple. “Okay. I swear you don’t have to choose; he’ll keep you anyway.”

A tear slid across the bridge of Jane’s nose. “Daddy knew you were mine.”