Chapter 144 Chapter 144: Confessions About Orrin

Chapter 144 Chapter 144: Confessions About Orrin
Kalev’s POV

The day after my mother came to visit, Senna and I had a long talk. My mother’s abrupt departure came as a surprise to me. But it spurred a deep conversation between me and Senna. We’d talked a few times about leaving. It had only been in passing though.

This time, the conversation was serious. It felt different. Senna cooked as she talked about the possibilities of us leaving. I wasn’t so sure though. Could we? Could we really leave?

Her eyes sparkled as she talked. Her cheeks flushed with excitement. She used my mother as an example. If my mother left, why couldn’t we?

“We could anywhere,” she said. “Somewhere closer to the forest. Maybe close to the ocean? Just think of the possibilities.”

She wasn’t saying it, but we both knew the real reason she wanted to go. this place held too many memories for her. A lot of them were sad. The fact that so many flora wolves had been hunted down and siphoned haunted her everywhere she looked.

Then there was Verity.

Orrin was not doing well. Senna was doing okay. She’d resigned herself to the loss of her wolf. But Orrin could not get over it. He wasn’t himself. He missed Verity too much. Wolves aren’t like people. They have a different bond. They love differently.

In Verity’s absence, Orrin longed for death.

I still had the siphon. I’d brought it back with me and I kept it my sock drawer, tucked away. But sometimes at night, when I couldn’t sleep, I pulled it out and fondled it.

It was light and cold, with the intricate markings that I now knew by heart.

“Please,” Orrin always said when he felt me holding the siphon.

He wanted me to let him go. But the thought of that tore at my heart. Was it really something I could do?
Now that we were talking about leaving though, really talking about it, the decision became clearer. Senna and I had been through so much together. So much loss. Maybe she was right. Maybe we could go somewhere else and put this all behind us.

Maybe I could do that without my wolf. Then we would both be wolfless.

“Senna,” I said, interrupting her. She was preparing some snacks for Junie and Thistle. They often came by to play cards with us on our days off. “I have something to tell you. And you’re not going to like it. But please, just hear me out.”

She paused at the kitchen counter. Then she turned around slowly.

“You don’t want to leave,” she said.

“What? No no no,” I shook my head. “This isn’t about that?”

“Well what is it about then? Since that’s what we were just talking about.” Her face was puzzled. I knew I didn’t have much time before Junie and Thistle arrived. Just as I knew this was going to be very hard to say.

I decided it was best just to spit it out, like pulling off a band aid.

“I think I need to let Orrin go,” I said.

She furrowed her brows. “Let him go,” she said. “Like how? What do you mean.”

I inhaled a deep breath. Then I fixed her with a look that made her understand.

“Oh Kalev,” she said. “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. You can’t be serious.”

I stood up. “He’s miserable,” I explained. “He’s barely even alive. He can’t live without Verity. This would be…this would be mercy.”

I didn’t have the words to tell her about Orrin. About how he felt. About how badly he was actually doing. But it sat heavy with me. It had been months since Verity left. Orrin was not improving. And I was slowly starting to realize that he was never going to improve.

I wished I could have explained it to her. But there was no way. Thankfully, I didn’t need to know. Senna understood me like no other person ever had.

She paused. Her mind spun. She thought about what I was saying. “Even if we decided that was a good idea,” she said. “Which I’m not sure it is. How, Kalev? How would you ‘let him go’, as you say?”

“The siphon.”

Her eyes flew open. “You still have the siphon?” she said. “Kalev. You know how dangerous that thing is.”

I knew she wouldn’t be happy about that. I’d lied to her. I’d told her I’d destroyed it. If it ever fell into the wrong hands, it could be very dangerous. I just hadn’t been able to bring myself to get rid of it.

All the other siphons had been destroyed. The spire on the island had burnt down. The siphon at the facility had been carefully dismantled. We’d found two other ones, too. One in Viktor’s room at his estate. And another one in the tunnels under the capital. As far as I knew, I had the last one.

We’d also destroyed all the designs that my father had created.

“I know,” I replied. “I should have destroyed it. But I kept it. Just in case. We could use it. To siphon out Orrin.”

Senna bit her lip. She was silent for a moment. Then, to my surprise, she nodded.

“Okay,” she said. “He’s your wolf. You know him best. This isn’t my decision to make. I will support you if that’s what you choose.”

Relief washed over me. The decision was clearer now than ever before. I went towards her and pulled her into me.

“I love you,” I whispered in her ear. Then I kissed her.

“I love you too,” she said.

“Ew. Get a room.”

We both turned to see Junie and Thistle standing in the kitchen, a disgusted look on their faces. We broke apart and laughed.

“Seriously, that’s gross,” Junie said.

“Just you wait,” I told her, shaking my finger. “One day you won’t think it’s so gross.”

“No day soon,” she rolled her eyes at me. They took their seats at the table. Thistle picked up the deck of cards.

“So,” he smiled. “Are we playing Hearts?”