Chapter 59 I miss her
BRYNNE
It has been hours since Soma left my room. Hours since I’ve tried and failed to summon flames. Maybe I should have gone through with making her suck my dick so I can break down the barrier keeping my magic captive, but she had looked so scared.
Her fear hadn’t stopped me the first two times because, beneath it, there was a thrill of anticipation she hates to admit. Now, as I sit here in my room, wondering why I stopped yesterday, the image of her smile when I let her go breaks through my mind.
We might have been around each other for over two weeks, but that was her first time smiling at me.
Soma is the only titled person I know who would risk her life for a maid. The people will appreciate her. If she can do that much for her maid, how much more for the ones she will be charged to protect as Luna?
Why am I even thinking about her?
I rise and charge toward Tristan’s room, opening the door without knocking. My younger brother is sprawled on his bed, his forearms crossed behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling. He doesn’t glance at me.
“How come her maid was injured?” I ask.
Yesterday, I used the mindlink to grant her request. Thinking about how shocked she was when they showed up makes my lips curl into a small smile, which fades immediately when I realize I’m thinking about her again.
“Told you not to hurt her,” I mutter.
He spares me a glance. “I did what was necessary.”
My mouth opens, but I don’t say a word. It’s my fault for expecting more than one sentence from him. Where’s Kade, anyway? He was the one who took her. I shut the door with unnecessary force and storm to my room.
Sienna is seated in the center of my bed when I enter, legs folded beneath her and knuckles pressed to her cheeks. I’m not surprised to see she’s arranged my pillows to form a circle around her. Sometimes, I don’t know who’s worse between her and Kade. He never stops talking and is full of boundless energy. While she can’t keep still for long without a need to do something or use her hands.
She sighs as I plop onto the bed without a word to her. “At what point is this going to end? I’m tired already.”
I have an idea what she’s talking about, but after dealing with my grumpy younger brother, I don’t want to hear a lecture from my cheerful sister. So, I slide off the bed, head to the table in the corner, and slump into the chair.
Sienna has never been one to be discouraged so easily. Her footsteps echo from behind almost immediately, and I pick up the first book my hand touches, flipping to a random page.
“Busy,” I say as she stops beside me. “I have tons of homework.”
“That can—”
“Si,” I cut in. With deliberate slowness, I flip to the next page. “This is my final year. I can’t afford to slack. Later.”
She scoffs. “Whatever. I read her aura.”
Chills curl around my spine. I pretend not to be interested in this topic, but my ears perk up for her prediction. While the rest of my siblings might have no magic, they all have unique abilities.
Sienna’s ability enables her to interpret people’s auras accurately. As long as we’re dealing with people who aren’t as strong as us, we can manipulate them. It has always worked for everyone except Soma. She has evaded my control and Kade’s manipulation. Tristan’s ability doesn’t involve infiltrating anyone’s mind, but I’m curious if he can move things in her grasp.
“Soma is a really good person,” Sienna murmurs. She perches on the edge of my table, giving me no choice but to stop my act. Her arms cross over her chest, and she sighs. “I don’t think she tampered with the selection. As weird as it is, I think Lilith is right. The Moon Goddess must have chosen her for a reason we don’t know.”
“Mistakes can happen,” I say flatly.
But Lilith has never made a mistake for as long as I’ve known her. Sienna nods, indulging me for the moment.
“What if she ends up being your mate?” she asks.
My hand clenches around the edge of the table, and my chest tightens. Light green eyes, full lips, and shiny brown hair push to the forefront of my mind.
“She’s not,” I snarl.
The books claim proximity and intimacy with one’s mate can trigger the flame, but nothing happened except once. Sex might be the only way to confirm if she’s the key, but I refuse to accept her as my mate until Lilith performs the ritual. We have one more week until the next full moon.
For some reason, her closeness stirs the fire, but that’s not enough to conclude.
“Kade told me why he took her,” she mutters. My eyes narrow, and she swallows. “Do you really think she has anything to do with your magic? Maybe we should ask Lilith.”
“Maybe you should stop questioning your future king.” She pouts, and my shoulders sag with annoyance. “I don’t know for sure. I wanted to test a theory. There’s no need to bring Lilith over here for something so trivial. Besides, we’ll see her soon.”
Sienna’s brows wriggle, but I refuse to release that bit of information. Only Father, Lilith, Soma, and I know about the upcoming mate ritual. It’s enough that I’ve confided in my siblings about the magic and how her proximity influences it, even going as far as recruiting their aid in roping us together. But that was all.
If she ends up being my mate…
No. I’ll wait for that time before deciding.
“She kind of reminds me of Mom. I miss her,” she says. I go still, pushing back the images that rise at her words. Mother has been dead for years. There’s no need for her to bring that up when we’ve finally moved on. “I kind of understand why you’re doing it. It’s almost that time of the year again, and you want to know if you could—”
I slam my fist on the table, shutting her up. “Enough.”
Heat licks at my spine, but it’s not enough to spark a flame. It’s another reminder that emotions can also trigger the flame. But how intense do they have to be for me to get a reaction?
“Is this why you came to my room?” I bark.
Sienna gasps, sliding off my table as her face darkens with anger. Her hands shake, and her red hair threatens to spill out of the loose bun.
“Okay, Brynne. You don’t have to be so rude,” she snaps. “You’re not the only one who misses her.”
“Si—”
But she storms out of the room, slamming the door so hard it rattles on its hinges. I tug at the mindlink, trying to reach out to her, but she has shut it off. My elbows sink to the table, and I bury my face behind my palms.
She cannot understand. None of them can.
Old memories trickle over me the second my eyes close. It’s useless fighting them, so I let myself be transported to the past. A past we hardly visit but has shaped our lives, particularly my current obsession with finding my trigger. The memory grows so vivid, and I clutch my chest as the scene shifts into focus.
Mother is in her room in the palace, the place she was moved to when her body couldn’t take it anymore. I’m no longer in my room, but right there with her. The same helplessness claws at my throat as I sink onto the edge of her bed, watching her fade away. I can almost smell the herbs we pumped into her daily, hoping for a divine miracle.
A tear falls down my cheek, and another drop follows. I sit straighter, wiping the evidence of my weakness.
Why did Sienna have to remind me of her today?
Her death anniversary is close, and so what? She’s gone. Gone. I shove back from the table, and the chair topples behind me. The sound grates on my nerves, but I ignore the mess and storm out of my room.
Tension brims under my skin as I take the steps two at a time, itching to get out of the house. But my feet crash to a stop in the foyer.
It’s quiet, but it’s not the silence that freezes me.
A fresh batch of deep red roses sits in the vase, each stem perfectly arranged. I haven’t touched it today, and my siblings know better than to mess with the flowers.
The anger in my veins thins into something colder. I inch closer, and my fingers graze a petal. Near the edge is a small, darkened smear that’s barely visible unless you’re looking at it.
A sniff reveals its blood. Fresh enough to stain and faint enough to almost miss. Whoever cared enough to change the roses got cut in the process of doing so.
Something sharp twists in my chest, and I stare at the roses a moment longer. The restlessness that had haunted me since I left Soma’s room eases, like a fist unfurling.
Mother is gone. Has been for years. I can’t change the past, but if there’s ever a chance of me being able to save anyone in the future, I can’t be held down by any barriers. I must learn how to wield my flames.