Chapter 73 WHAT WEAKNESS LOOKS LIKE
Adam's POV
I kept saying sorry.
I didn’t even know why I felt the need to. It just kept slipping out of my mouth like I had to somehow make up for giving them another reason to question Kael’s choice of having me as a mate.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered again, my voice small even to my own ears. “I embarrassed you. In front of your people. I made them see… this.” I gestured vaguely at myself, at my body, at everything I hated right now. “I showed them weakness.”
Kael stopped moving.
He’d been helping me settle on the bed, pulling pillows up, making sure my back was supported. Then slowly turned to face me.
“Adam,” he said quietly.
“I didn’t mean to,” I rushed on, panic creeping up my throat. “I tried to stay strong. I really did. I just— I didn’t think it would happen there. In front of everyone. They already don’t like me and now they’ll think I’m—”
He cupped my face, firm but gentle, forcing me to look at him.
“No,” he said. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
I blinked. “But—”
“I am the one who should be apologizing,” he continued. “I stressed you. I let the ceremony go on too long. I should have ended it the moment I saw you weren’t well.”
“You didn’t know the stupid nosebleed would come at that moment.” I said weakly.
“I should have known that you insisting on coming out with me doesn't mean you're well enough to sit through the entire ceremony,” he said. “Nothing is more important than my mate. Not tradition. Not appearances. Not my people watching.”
I swallowed hard.
“Next time we are out,” he went on, softer now, “you will tell me immediately if you feel tired. Or dizzy. Or uncomfortable. Even a little. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
He brushed his thumb under my eye. “I mean it.”
I smiled, small and shaky. “You’re… too good to me. You take care of me so well.”
His expression softened in a way that made my chest ache.
“It is my duty to care for my mate,” he said simply. “And my heart hurts when you are hurt. Please… always tell me when you are feeling ill.”
I let out a small breath. “Apparently, I’ll be feeling ill for the next couple of months because of…” I hesitated, my mouth suddenly dry. “…the pregnancy.”
The word tasted wrong and heavy. Like I didn’t want it there.
Kael squeezed my hand, not rushing me, just waiting.
“…the pregnancy,” I repeated, slower, breaking it apart. “Didn’t the physician say it’ll make me sick? So I guess I’ll just… remain sick.”
I hated how defeated I sounded.
Kael studied my face. “Do you want it to go away?”
I frowned. “The sickness?”
“The cause,” he said quietly. “I know you’ve said you don’t want it. But I selfishly told myself you were only in shock as this is new to you. It's not like this for humans. But I am asking you now. Do you want it to go away?”
My heart started racing.
“Kael—”
“Just tell me,” he said. “I’ll find a way to make it happen.”
I looked away, my eyes burning. “Can you… can you give me time to think about it?”
He didn’t push. Didn’t argue.
He hummed softly and pulled me into his chest, holding me close like that answer was enough for now.
From that day on, things got worse.
Not all at once. That would have been easier. It crept in quietly, like my body was trying not to scare me.
I’d be talking and suddenly feel heat rushing up my throat. No warning. No time. I barely made it to the basin before vomiting, my knees shaking so badly Kael had to kneel behind me and hold me up.
“It’s okay,” he’d murmur, rubbing slow circles on my back. “I’ve got you.”
Other times, I’d just… stop.
Mid-sentence. Mid-thought.
My limbs would turn heavy, my head foggy, and I’d have to sit before I fell.
“You were saying something,” Kael would prompt gently.
“I was?” I’d blink, confused.
Nosebleeds became worse. Not just a trickle anymore. Thick and warm, staining clothes red. Once, I gagged and tasted iron and realized with horror that I was vomiting blood.
Kael went pale.
The physician was calm. Too calm about this mess.
“It is pregnancy-related,” she said, checking my pulse. “Nothing is wrong.”
Something inside me snapped.
“Something is wrong,” I said hoarsely. “This isn’t normal. I understand pregnant people get sick, but it doesn’t get this bloody.”
She frowned slightly. “Every body is different. Especially you. You are very different. It's normal.”
“I’m not even supposed to have this body doing this,” I snapped. “So don’t tell me it’s normal.”
Kael took my hand, grounding me. “Adam.”
I shook my head, tears spilling. “I feel like I’m losing my mind faster than I'm losing my health. What is all this?”
That night, I noticed Kael barely slept.
Every small sound I made had him awake, sitting up, hand on my back, asking softly, “Are you alright?”
I started realizing something new then.
My fear wasn’t just about the pregnancy.
It was about change. About my reality never staying still long enough for me to get used to a particular state or feeling.
And somewhere in the dark, half-asleep, I heard Kael’s voice through the door. All controlled anger. He's talking about security. About threats.
About protecting me.
I lay there, staring at the ceiling, my hand resting over my stomach, and for the first time… I didn’t think only about what I was losing. I mean, I am losing my mind and my body.
But I wondered what Kael was fighting so hard to keep. What exactly am I worth? Why go through all the stress and danger of fighting for me? Is it love? Does he dream of happily ever after and is trying to fight for love?
What exactly was he fighting so hard to keep?