Chapter 68 GIVE IT UP FOR HIM
Kael's POV
I never knew pain could sit this quietly.
I have seen blood. I have broken bones with my hands. I have buried my parents and stood alone before a pack that needed an Alpha who would not crumble. I have endured loneliness so deep it felt like a second skin. None of that compares to watching my mate cry over a blessing I once begged the Moon for.
I had prayed for it.
Not loudly. Not foolishly. But in the quiet hours, when the pack slept and the weight of leadership pressed heavy on my chest, I had prayed. For a mate. Someone warm. Someone who would laugh in my halls and scold me for overworking myself. Someone to hold at night so the bed would stop feeling so damn large. And yes—pups. One, two, three… how ever many my mate gives me. I never cared about the number. Just the idea of small lives that smelled like home. Proof that I had built something that would outlive me.
I imagined small hands grabbing my fingers, small voices calling me father. I imagined teaching them how to shift, how to fight, how to be kind even when the world wasn’t.
Then Adam came.
A human. A male human, with no wolf, no scent, no pheromones. Nothing that fits into the life I’d imagined. And quietly, without bitterness and without regret, I killed that dream.
I remember the moment I understood what that meant. How my chest tightened, how my wolf went silent in acceptance. I remember thinking, so this is the price. I would love him, and my bloodline would end with me. And somehow… I was okay with that. More than okay. Because his voice sounded like happiness if happiness could speak. Because his eyes— Moon above, his eyes— made me want to kneel.
So I accepted him. Fully. Happily.
I accepted that my bloodline would end with me.
And I was content.
He fit in my arms like he had been carved for them.
I had never wanted to protect something so badly. To possess, yes, but gently.
I smiled to myself and accepted my mate.
I buried the dream of pups quietly and never resented it.
And now…
Now the Moon gives me everything I ever wanted, and my mate is breaking under its weight.
It feels cruel.
It has been days since the physician said the words that should have made me howl with joy. Days since Adam fell apart in my arms and kept saying no like the word might save him. He barely eats now. He turns his face away when food is brought. The physician comes to check on him and Adam yells, tells her not to touch him, tells her to leave him alone. He yells at me too. Sharp words. Ugly words.
I welcome them.
Because yesterday,
yesterday he went quiet.
And silence from Adam feels like death.
I don’t even know if I’m allowed in our bed anymore.
Last night I slept on the couch, staring at the ceiling like a coward. Tonight I planned to lay a mat on the floor, just so I could stay near him without crossing some invisible line I don’t understand. It hurts. Gods, it hurts so much not knowing what to do.
“Alpha Kael.”
I blink, dragged from my thoughts. Mira stands before me, posture straight, eyes eager.
“Yes,” I answered.
“We’re finalizing preparations for the New Moon Feast,” she continues. “I’ll be overseeing the arrangements. We’ll need to send invitations to allied packs by tomorrow.”
“Mm,” I nod. “Do it.”
She hesitates. “Is there anything else you’d like announced or included? You mentioned extra preparations the other day.”
My chest tightens. My mate is pregnant. I'm going to be a father. I want the world to know that my mate is carrying my pup. I want to throw the biggest party ever. I want to celebrate…
“No,” I say, instead. “That’s all.”
“Okay. The preparations are almost complete. I wanted your approval on the list.”
“Mm,” I murmur. “Yes. Fine.”
She hesitates. “The Moon Stone guards will also need—”
“Handle it,” I say, already walking away.
She calls after me, “Alpha?”
I don’t care about feasts. Or allies. Or ceremonies. I just want my mate. Every step pulled me back to my chamber, to the faint hope that Adam might be… better. More alive.
The door opens quietly, and the silence inside mocks my hope.
I move closer to the bed. Adam is turned toward the wall, shoulders tense, breathing shallow. I know he isn’t asleep.
I kneel beside him slowly, like approaching a wounded animal.
“Adam,” I whisper. “Baby?”
Nothing.
I lift my hand and hesitate for a long second before touching his shoulder. Just a light caress.
“Please,” I murmur. “Talk to me.”
Silence, again.
My throat tightens. “I’m here,” I say stupidly. “I’m not leaving.”
Still nothing.
I sit there for a long moment, hoping… begging, for him to turn around, to snap at me, to cry, to do something.
He doesn’t.
“I’ll… I’ll be back,” I whisper, though I don’t know why I say it.
I pull my hand back like I’ve been burned, I stand up, and leave before I do something stupid… before I beg him again and watch him sink deeper into himself.
My feet carry me somewhere without my permission.
The physician’s chamber.
She bows when I enter. “Alpha.”
My mouth opens before my courage fails.
“Is there a way to take it out?”
She frowns. “Take what out?”
I swallow, feeling a thick lump suddenly forming in my throat. “The pup. Is there a way to get it out of him? To… to terminate its growth. Anything. Please.”
Her expression hardens. “Alpha, you cannot do that. It is an abomination to reject one’s pup.”
“I don’t care about tradition,” I snap, then rein myself in. “He’s suffering.”
“You are a true-blood Alpha,” she continues firmly. “Your pup is not something that can be easily interfered with. It is a blessing. A miracle, even. He doesn’t have a wolf. He isn’t an Omega. He has no scent, no pheromones. You were prepared to end your bloodline when you marked him. And this— this is the Moon granting you an heir.”
“He doesn’t want it,” I say, my voice breaking. “He’s scared. He’s been crying for days. I don’t like seeing him cry.”
“That is not a reason—”
“I can’t force him,” I cut in. “I can’t make him unhappy just to preserve my bloodline.”
“Why are you bending every rule for him?”
“Because he’s my mate.”
“I didn't want to point it out, but I know you shut off your wolf to keep his marks from burning,” she says. “Do you know the risk of that?”
“Yes,” I say quietly. “I do.”
“You would weaken yourself. And now you come asking to rid yourself of your heir because he is unhappy?”
“He’s not just unhappy,” I snap. “He’s breaking apart, he's falling deeper into sadness everyday since he got to know he's pregnant.”
She scoffs. “He is mated to an Alpha. It is his duty to give you a pup.”
“No,” I say, firmly. “It is not a duty to be forced on him. He has the right to choose. And he has chosen not to.”
She shakes her head. “It would have been a shame if he couldn’t conceive. It could have cost you your throne. He should be grateful. You should thank your wolf you pupped him easily. What is wrong with you?”
I inhale slowly and deeply. My chest aches.
“I just want my mate back,” I say. The words fall heavy and final between us.
I leave before she can respond.
Because I don’t want a miracle that costs me Adam.
I don’t want an heir if it means watching the light go out of his eyes.
I want him rambling and laughing again. Complaining. Clinging to me like I’m the only solid thing in this world. I want him sleeping in my arms again.
I would give up everything— title, blood, legacy— just to hear him say my name without fear again.
Losing him terrifies me more than anything the Moon could ever take away.