Chapter 22 22

Chapter 22 22
JAXON

I took the stairs two at a time because standing still felt impossible, my hands still shaking, my knuckles still sore, my chest tight like it wanted to cave in on itself, and every step echoed with the memory of his face when I hit him and the sound of Lyra’s voice in my head telling me to stop even though she was not there.

I did not know why I lost control like that.

I kept asking myself the same question as I climbed higher, why did seeing someone stand too close to her light something ugly inside me, why did my vision go red so fast, why did my body move before my mind could catch up, why did it feel like if I did not act I would shatter.

“Get it together,” I muttered to myself, my voice low and rough, like I was talking to a stranger. “You are better than this.”

My wolf stirred under my skin, restless and sharp, not angry anymore but uneasy, like it knew something I did not want to hear.

Something is off, it whispered.

I ignored it.

I reached the door, my door, the one place that should have felt empty and quiet, and when I opened it warmth rushed over me like I had stepped into sunlight after a long winter. The air felt soft, almost thick, like it was wrapping around my shoulders and pulling me in.

And then I saw her.

Aria stood by the window, the curtains brushing her arms, the light falling over her hair and skin in a way that made my chest ache. She turned when she heard me and smiled, just a small smile, calm and sure, like she had been waiting for me the whole time.

“Hey,” she said.

That one word hit me harder than any punch I threw downstairs.

I closed the door behind me without looking away from her, my heart racing, my thoughts scattering. She had always been beautiful, I knew that, but right then it felt unbearable, like my body could not hold how much I wanted her.

“Jaxon,” she said again, softer this time, stepping closer. “Are you okay?”

I crossed the room in three long strides and wrapped my arms around her before she could finish the sentence. I pulled her against me like I was afraid she would disappear if I loosened my grip. The warmth got stronger, sinking into my bones, melting the tension in my muscles, and suddenly my eyes burned.

“I thought I was going to lose it,” I said into her hair, my voice breaking. “I thought I was going to lose everything.”

She hugged me back, her hands firm on my back. “You are here now.”

“I cannot lose you,” I said, the words spilling out fast and raw. “Do not ever leave me. Please. If you leave me I will die. I swear I will.”

She pulled back just enough to look at my face. “Hey. Look at me.”

I did, and something in my chest twisted even tighter.

“You are not dying,” she said, calm and certain. “I am not going anywhere.”

Tears slid down my face before I could stop them. I hated that part of myself, the part that broke so easily, but I could not hold it in. I pressed my forehead to hers and breathed her in.

Inside me my wolf surged, not with comfort but with alarm.

This is wrong, it growled. You are being pulled. This feels like a spell. Wake up.

“Stop,” I whispered, though I did not know if I was talking to the wolf or myself.

A sharp pain bloomed behind my eyes, sudden and brutal, like something was digging into my skull. I gasped and squeezed my eyes shut.

“Jaxon,” Aria said, her voice sounding far away. “What is it?”

My wolf pushed harder. Fight it. Something is twisting you.

But the warmth wrapped tighter, the ache in my chest easing even as my head pounded. Letting go felt easier than fighting. Thinking felt heavy. Holding Aria felt like the only solid thing left.

“I am tired,” I said, my voice dull. “I just want this to stop.”

“Then rest,” she said, guiding me toward the bed. “I am here.”

The pain spiked once more, then faded into a deep throb, and after that everything slowed, my thoughts drifting, my wolf’s voice fading to a distant echo I could no longer reach.

\---

Morning came too fast.

Light spilled across the room and I blinked awake, my head aching like I had been awake all night drinking instead of sleeping. I turned and Aria was there, close, her hair spread across the pillow, her face peaceful.

For a moment my chest filled with something close to panic, then relief washed over it.

“You are awake,” she said, smiling as soon as she saw my eyes open.

“Yeah,” I said slowly. “My head feels like hell.”

She laughed softly. “You scared me last night. You just shut down.”

“I am sorry,” I said. “I do not remember everything.”

“That is okay,” she said, brushing her fingers over my arm. “We can start the day fresh.”

The shower was already running when we stepped into the bathroom. Steam filled the air and the mirror fogged over. We stood under the water together, not rushed, not wild, just close, her shoulder against mine, her hand resting at my waist.

“You sure you are okay?” she asked again.

“I think so,” I said, though my wolf stirred uneasily. “I feel better with you here.”

Something in me flinched at how true that felt.

We got dressed together, moved around each other like it was the most natural thing in the world, brushing hands, trading small smiles, sharing quiet words that felt intimate without trying.

By the time we stepped outside, the world felt distant, like I was moving through it behind glass.

On the way to campus she slipped her hand into mine and I let her, even when my wolf shifted, even when a small voice in my head told me to slow down.

At the gates she stopped and turned to face me.

“People are staring,” she said, amused.

“Let them,” I said, leaning down.

We kissed, quick and clumsy, like kids who did not care who was watching. I heard whispers, felt eyes on us, but it did not matter. All that mattered was her mouth, her laugh when we pulled apart.

“You are ridiculous,” she said.

“You love it,” I replied.

I tried to pull my hand away as we walked, tried to create some space, but my fingers tightened instead. It was like my body refused to listen.

Then I saw Lyra.

She stood near the steps, talking to someone, and when her eyes met mine a chill ran through me. Her face looked different, sharper somehow, like a shadow sat just beneath her skin.

My chest clenched and something dark flared inside me, sudden and violent.

I hate her.

The thought shocked me with its intensity.

My wolf roared in protest. No. This is wrong. She is pack. She is not the enemy.

Fear brushed against my senses, not mine, hers. I felt it clearly, Lyra’s fear, sharp and desperate, like she was standing at the edge of something terrible.

My neck ached to turn, to look back at her, to do something, to say her name.

Do not, my wolf pleaded. Fight it.

I tightened my grip on Aria’s hand instead and kept walking.

“Jaxon?” Aria asked. “Are you okay?”

“I am fine,” I said, forcing my eyes forward.

The ache in my neck burned, my head pulsing in time with my heartbeat, but I did not turn back.

I did not know why part of me was screaming to run and another part was telling me to stay, only that stopping felt impossible.

And as we disappeared into the crowd, I felt the fear fade, felt my wolf curl in on itself, and I knew, deep down, that whatever had started last night was far from over.