Chapter 60 Confronting carson
Logan was still riled up after leaving the hospital. Not only was he mad at Serena for being mad at him, and also being rational about it, but he was mad that she’d kicked him out! Looking for more to argue about, Logan went in search of Carson. He was in no mood to let the matter drop. Rationally, he knew it was not the best time to confront his Beta, but he was still seeing red, and he wanted to talk it all out! Carons was in his office, in the same building at Logan’s, down the hall. Logan didn’t even knock before letting himself into Carson’s office. His Beta looked up, raising an eyebrow in response to Logan’s obviously foul mood. “What’s going on?” Carson asked standing up. “Was there another attack?” Logan shook his head, waving off his Beta’s concerns. “This is a more personal matter,” he stated firmly. Carson sighed, sitting back down. “Okay, what’s going on?” he asked. Carson smirked. “Holly getting under your skin again?” Logan scoffed, crossing his arms. “Not at all,” he assured. “This is about Serena.” “Serena?” Carson asked. “Do you and Serena have something going on the side?” Logan growled! He hated that Carson would question his honor and fidelity over admitting that he and Serena were dating. “No!” he hissed through clenched teeth. “This is about you and Serena!” Carson pursed his lips, letting Logan’s accusations hang heavily in the silence. The Beta sighed, and leaned back in his desk chair. “Is there a problem with me and Serena?” Carson asked. Logan growled. “You should have told me!” he snapped. Carson shrugged. “There is nothing to tell,” he admitted. “I’ve spent some time with her, but that’s it. Since when do I owe you an explanation of what I do in my personal life?” “That’s not the point,” Logan said, throwing his arms out to the side. If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t even really know what he was angry about anymore. He wasn’t thinking rationally, though. Both Carson and Serena had told him they weren’t involved romantically, but he couldn’t let that go! He had no idea what was agitating him so much about the prospect of the two of them being together or getting together. It crawled under his skin like insects, threatening to make him ill! “What is the point, then?” Carson asked, folding his hands on his stomach. “The last time I checked, you don’t have any kind of claim on Serena. She is a free female and she can have whoever she wants as a friend, or a romantic interest.”
“Is that what you want?” Logan asked, pouncing on Carson’s use of the term ‘romantic interest.’ “I really don’t see how this is your business, Logan,” Carson said. “Neither of us are mated or in a relationship. You are my friend and Alpha, so I hope you’d trust me to tell you if anything life changing was going on.” Logan rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he pointed out. He huffed, getting angrier all over again. “I think she is a great female,” Carson said. “I think she is a spectacular mother, great at her job, and the kids are wonderful. Who wouldn’t consider her a prospective romantic interest?” Logan grimaced at Carson’s question. It was fair. Serena was very desirable and from a strong bloodline. That wasn’t what was bothering him though! “Why wouldn’t you tell me you were interested in her? Why wouldn’t you tell me that you were pursuing her?” he asked gruffly. Again, Carson shrugged. “It didn’t seem like it was your business,” Carson said again. “There was nothing to talk about. We‘ve hung out a few times, and it isn’t like we are dating or anything.” “But why hide it at all?” Logan asked with a scoffed. Carson snorted. “We weren’t hiding it,” he said, his voice rising in volume. “What, am I supposed to call you every time I have dinner with a pretty female? Am I supposed to give you an update when I spend a day with a friend and her kids?” Logan snarled. Carson was being sarcastic, and he didn’t like it! “That’s not what I’m saying!” he snapped.
“Then what are you saying?” Carson asked, standing up. “You’re not making any sense! You’re acting like you have some kind of claim on Serena and her kids, and have to know what she is doing every minute, who she is with at all times. Need I remind you that you have a girlfriend?”
“No, you don’t need to remind me,” Logan said sharply, turning around so he didn’t have to see the accusing look in Carson’s eyes. “And, do I also need to remind you that Holly is pregnant with your child?” he pressed. “Logan, you have your commitments, and they have nothing to do with Serena or me.” Logan growled, whipping around to glare at his Beta. “I’m Alpha,” he said. “Everything that happens in the pack is my business. That includes who new pack members are getting to know and who my Beta is consorting with.”
“Consorting?” Carson asked, barking a laugh. “How many times do I have to say it, nothing is happening between us!” Logan shook his head.
“How can I believe you when you’ve been hiding this from me?” he asked. Carson snorted and shook his head. “Listen to yourself,” Carson said. “You’re sounding paranoid.”
Carson was one of the few who could be so honest and open and say what was on his mind without getting backlash from the Alpha. Logan still wasn’t in the mood to be friendly though.
“Look, I get it,” Carson said. “You’re an Alpha, and with that comes certain possessive tendencies. The truth is, though, you can’t have it all. You’re having a baby with Holly. That means Serena is free to do what she wants, and so am I. I don’t think she sees me that way, but I’m not going to stop trying.” Logan gave a warning growl. It rose up so fast, he didn’t have the chance to swallow it back down. “I’ll be watching you closely,” Logan told Carson, glaring at him. Carson sighed, shaking his head. He sat heavily down into his chair. “Sure, whatever you say,” he said. Logan bristled, but Carson wasn’t going to engage in fighting with him further. In a still soured mood, Logan left Carson’s office. He grumbled to himself as he walked home. The anger still burned in his veins, fire shooting through his limbs, beckoning him to lash out, to bite and fight until he could make sense of what he was feeling and thinking! He tried to clear his head on his way home, but all these thoughts of Serena and Carson together kept flickering through his mind. It did bother him, thinking of her with another male. He had no idea why! It was possible he was fixating on her so that he didn’t have to think about Holly and the child he wasn’t ready for.
The afternoon sun was warm as he walked home. He took the long way to avoid busy areas of the village. He wasn’t in the mood to see anyone else, and he had a feeling he’d lash out at anyone that tried to speak to him. As much as it would make him feel better, as Alpha, he knew he had to show some restraint.
It was easier to avoid that conflict than try to make up for it later.
As it was, his thoughts returned to the problem he was wrestling with. There was a part of him that knew that Carson and Serena were not obligated to tell him if they were spending time together or dating. Shaking his head, Logan tried to clear his mind of those thoughts. It was bad enough that he was going home to a pregnant girlfriend he didn’t know how to handle. The idea that he was just projecting his frustration was starting to become a more rational consideration. Anger cooling, Logan started to feel better. He was still confused about what he was feeling, and there was a lingering feeling of betrayal and paranoia. Being outside helped him breathe deeply and release his anger.
When he got home, he kicked his shoes off, got himself a beer, and then slumped down on the couch. Relaxing, he tried to think of something other than Serena and his Beta getting closer. The only other thoughts that wanted to surface, though, were about Holly and the baby.
He’d have to talk to her soon. He’d avoided the conversation Serena had told him he needed to have. He knew she was right, but he was still mad enough at her that he would avoid the conversation as a means to spite her. Logan laughed to himself. He was being so childish! He knew that, but he also felt justified in his anger and his betrayal. That was the part he couldn’t explain!