Chapter 152 Elara's POV
The rest of the day passed in a blur of activity despite my inability to move much.
Kara organized relief supplies for families affected by the border attack. I directed her from my bed, making lists, prioritizing needs.
Kira helped coordinate meals for the warriors at the borders. Massive amounts of food are being prepared and transported constantly.
Servants came and went with reports, supply requests and questions about logistics. I answered everything I could, trying to be useful even from bed.
But it wasn't enough. I wanted to be out there. I wanted to be helping directly instead of giving orders from a distance.
As evening approached, I heard commotion downstairs, voices, footsteps. Kaden and the leadership were back from the borders.
My heart leaped when he was home.
But then doubt crept in. I looked terrible. Pale and weak and covered in bandages. What if he was disappointed? What if seeing me like this reminded him of how fragile I was?
I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. Coming to check on me and Adrian. Panic seized me. I couldn't face him like this, not when I was so vulnerable.
When he entered the room, I avoided looking at him directly.
"You're back," I said, focusing on Adrian in the bassinet.
"I am. How are you feeling?"
"Fine. Healing." I picked up Adrian and handed him to Kaden. "Here. He's been asking for you well, crying. But I think it's the same thing."
Kaden took our son carefully, his eyes never leaving my face. "Elara-"
"I need to use the bathroom, excuse me."
I fled before he could stop me, locked myself in the attached bathroom and immediately started crying.
Quiet tears at first then full sobs I tried to muffle with my hand.
Everything was too much, the pain, the fear of the war coming. Almost losing Adrian to Selena. Almost dying myself.
And wanting Kaden desperately but being too afraid to show that weakness.
I heard the bathroom door handle turn. I'd forgotten to actually lock it.
Kaden stood there, Adrian still in his arms, looking at me with concerned eyes.
"You're crying."
"I'm not-" But my face was covered in tears. There was no denying it. "Fine. Yes. I'm crying."
"Why?"
"Because everything hurts! Because I'm scared! Because we have a war coming and I just gave birth and almost died twice and I don't know if I'm strong enough for any of this!"
"You're the strongest person I know-"
"I'm not! I'm weak and broken and barely holding it together!"
I was full-on sobbing now. "And I miss you! I miss you so much even when you're right here because I'm terrified of needing you this much!"
Kaden carefully placed Adrian in his bassinet just outside the bathroom. Then he came to me, pulling me gently into his arms.
"You are allowed to need me, you are allowed to miss me, you are allowed to be weak sometimes."
"But if I'm weak, how do I protect Adrian? How do I be a Luna? How can I be everything everyone needs?"
"You don't have to be everything, you just have to be you. And you are Elara. That's enough. That's always been enough."
He held me as I cried, one hand stroking my hair. "I miss you too every second I'm at those borders, all I think about is getting back to you and Adrian."
"Then why do you leave?"
"Because if I don't defend the borders, the war comes to our doorstep. Threatens you and Adrian directly. I leave so you can be safe."
"I don't feel safe without you."
"I know and I hate that I can't be in two places at once. Can't protect the pack and hold you at the same time."
He pulled back to look at my face. "But Elara, you need to tell me when you need me. I can't read your mind. I can't guess you have to actually say the words."
"I need you. I need you here with me and Adrian. Please don't go back to the borders tonight."
"Okay."
"Okay? Just like that?"
"Just like that. Ethan can handle the borders for one night. You need me here so here is where I will be."
Fresh tears streamed down my face. But these were different relief, gratitude, and love.
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me for doing what I should have done anyway. For being where I'm needed most."
He wiped my tears gently. "Now come on. Let's get you back to bed, you shouldn't be standing this long."
He helped me back to the bedroom. Settled me into bed. Brought Adrian to me for another feeding.
Then he lay down beside us, one arm around me, the other touching Adrian gently.
"This," he said quietly.
"This is what I'm fighting for, not territory or pride or power. This you and Adrian, our family, everything else is just noise."
"Everything else is important too-"
"Not as important as this, never as important as this."
We lay there together as the sun set. As Adrian finished nursing and fell asleep between us.
And for the first time since giving birth, I felt truly at peace. The war was still coming, the threats were still real, the danger hadn't passed.
But in this moment, in this room, with Kaden beside me and Adrian safe in our arms, I felt like maybe everything would be okay.
Maybe we were strong enough to face what was coming.
As long as we faced it together.