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118

JOEL'S POV

The anger churned inside me, coiled like a snake ready to strike. My hands still shook from the argument, my jaw clenched so tight I thought my teeth might crack. I walked through the city streets in a daze, the noise around me fading into a dull hum as my thoughts circled back to one thing: Vivian.

She’d crossed the line. She thought she could use me, manipulate me, and then toss me aside as if I were nothing. As if I were her puppet, a pawn she could discard once she was finished with me. I’d known Vivian was ruthless, but this… this was different. She’d dismissed me, mocked me, made it clear she thought I was weak, disposable.

But she was wrong. I wasn’t weak. I was done playing her games, done following her lead. And if she thought she could walk away from this unscathed, she was in for a surprise.

I didn’t even remember getting back to her apartment. By the time I realized it, I was already pounding on her door, my fists hitting the wood so hard it felt like my bones would break. She opened it, her face twisted in irritation that quickly shifted to something closer to surprise as she saw the look in my eyes.

“Joel,” she started, her voice laced with impatience. “What are you doing here?”

I pushed past her, not waiting for an invitation. I could feel my pulse pounding in my ears, my anger simmering just below the surface. “You thought you could just get rid of me? Brush me off like I’m nothing?”

She crossed her arms, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. “Joel, we’ve been over this. You’re out because you couldn’t control yourself. I’m done explaining it to you.”

The dismissiveness in her tone, the look of disdain on her face—it pushed me over the edge. I stepped closer, my fists clenched at my sides. “You used me, Vivian. All this time, feeding into my anger, making me think we were partners. But you never saw me as anything but a tool.”

She rolled her eyes, turning away from me. “Spare me the melodrama, Joel. You got yourself into this mess. Don’t blame me because you couldn’t keep your emotions in check.”

Something in me snapped. I reached out, grabbing her arm, forcing her to turn and face me. “You think you can talk to me like that? Like I’m some kind of… some kind of pawn you can just throw away?”

She tried to pull her arm free, her expression shifting from annoyance to something darker. “Let go of me, Joel. Now.”

But I didn’t let go. Instead, I tightened my grip, feeling a surge of satisfaction at the flicker of fear in her eyes. She wasn’t in control now. I was.

“Do you have any idea how much you’ve ruined?” I hissed, my voice low and dangerous. “You think you’re so smart, pulling all the strings, but all you’ve done is push me to the edge. You created this.”

She finally wrenched her arm free, her gaze hardening as she took a step back. “Don’t kid yourself. You made your own choices. I may have given you a nudge, but you were the one who wanted to hurt Bethany. Don’t put that on me.”

“You think you’re innocent?” I laughed bitterly. “You’re just as twisted as I am, maybe worse. But you hide behind that smug attitude, pretending like you’re in control. You’re nothing but a coward.”

Her eyes flashed with anger, but before she could respond, I felt my anger surge forward, and without thinking, I lashed out, grabbing her shoulders and shoving her back against the wall. Her gasp of surprise was all the satisfaction I needed.

“You think you can talk down to me?” I snarled, leaning in close, my hands gripping her shoulders so tightly I could feel her tensing beneath my fingers. “You thought you could just toss me aside like trash?”

Her voice shook, but she kept her gaze steady. “Joel, you’re making a mistake.”

“A mistake?” I laughed, the sound hollow and dark. “No, Vivian. The mistake was thinking I ever needed you. I’m done with your lies, your games. You don’t control me anymore.”

She tried to push me back, but I held firm, my anger blinding me to everything but the need to make her feel as helpless as she’d made me feel.

“Get off of me,” she spat, her voice filled with venom. “You’re pathetic, Joel. A pathetic, angry little man who can’t stand the truth.”

Her words stung, and without thinking, I raised my hand, the instinct to shut her up overwhelming every other thought in my mind. My hand collided with her cheek, the sound echoing through the room as she stumbled back, her eyes wide with shock.

Silence fell between us, the weight of what I’d done settling over me like a thick fog. But I didn’t feel regret. I felt satisfaction, a dark, twisted satisfaction that I’d finally silenced her, finally taken control.

Vivian raised a hand to her cheek, her gaze filled with a mixture of shock and fury. “You’ll regret that, Joel,” she whispered, her voice low and filled with menace. “You’ll regret every second of this.”

I stepped back, my chest heaving with the intensity of my anger. “No, Vivian. The only thing I regret is ever trusting you.”

She stared at me, the fire in her eyes a stark contrast to the cool, controlled woman I’d known. For the first time, I saw the cracks in her armor, the vulnerability she’d always hidden beneath that icy exterior.

But I didn’t care. I’d broken free of her control, severed the last tie that had kept me bound to her twisted games. She was nothing to me now, and I wanted her to know it.

“Don’t come near me again, Vivian,” I warned, my voice cold. “You’re out of my life for good.”

With that, I turned and walked out of the apartment, leaving her standing there, alone in the darkness.

As I stepped out into the night, I felt a twisted sense of satisfaction. Vivian had finally seen me for who I was, felt the power shift. But as I walked away, the thrill of the moment began to fade, replaced by a hollow emptiness that settled deep in my chest.

I’d won, but somehow, it didn’t feel like victory.

As I stepped out into the cold night, the quiet around me seemed to press down, a stark contrast to the storm still raging inside my chest. My hands were shaking, my heart pounding, and as I walked down the empty street, the reality of what had just happened started to sink in. The satisfaction I’d felt only moments ago began to unravel, replaced by something else—something darker, more insidious.

I stopped under a streetlamp, staring at my own shadow stretched across the pavement. I’d just crossed a line with Vivian, one that couldn’t be erased. She’d deserved it, I told myself. She’d manipulated me, used me, twisted my anger to fuel her own schemes. But no matter how many times I replayed that moment in my head, the bitter taste in my mouth didn’t go away.

I’d thought taking control would make me feel powerful, that finally putting Vivian in her place would erase the humiliation, the helplessness she’d forced me to feel. But now, standing here alone, I felt none of that. Instead, I felt… hollow.

Because the truth was, hitting her hadn’t changed anything. She was still in my head, her mocking voice still echoing, reminding me that she’d seen right through me. And as much as I wanted to believe that I was free from her influence, I couldn’t deny the hold she still had on me.

The longer I stood there, the more my anger twisted, turning inward, until it was aimed squarely at myself. I’d let Vivian turn me into this—this person I didn’t recognize, this person I could barely look at in the reflection of the streetlamp.

I ran a hand over my face, letting out a shaky breath. There was no going back now. Vivian would retaliate—I knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t let this slide. She’d find a way to hit back, to make me pay for every ounce of humiliation I’d dealt her tonight. And I had no doubt that she’d aim to hit me where it hurt most.

But maybe that was exactly what I deserved.

I glanced back at her apartment, the dim light in her window barely visible from where I stood. The shadow I cast felt like a stranger’s, and for the first time, I wondered if I’d gone too far—if there was any part of me left that wasn’t wrapped up in this mess of anger, bitterness, and regret.

And as I turned and walked away, the silence was my only answer.