Chapter Thirty-Seven

I barge into his office. The female is gone, but her scent stayed behind. Reed wasn't in bed with me, so this is the first place I decided to look. Here he is. He's sitting in his chair with the buttons of his shirt undone. He doesn't seem surprised by my intrusion.

He gestures with his hands. "What it is it this time, Bea? Concerned that I'm not in bed at this hour? Have you come to fetch me?"

"Our bond isn't legitimate."

This seems to take him by surprise. He settles deeper in his chair. "Oh, really? I had no idea. Why do you say so? Please, enlighten me."

"There were no eyewitnesses, so this whole thing is null and void." I say this with conviction, but his expression remains blank. Why is he looking at me like this?

He sighs. "I don't know what you want me to say to that."

"So it's true?"

"No, Bea. It isn't true. Do you think I would be that stupid? There are seven eyewitnesses. I arranged with them before I ran after you. I knew Gregory told you the truth, so I had to act quickly."

I shake my head. I was so convinced that it was the true. That I would be free of him. "It can't be. I didn't make a promise."

"The promise is simply a courtesy, it's the eyewitnesses that truly matter during a mating ceremony." He leans back. He looks run down and exhausted. "Anything else, Bea? I'll be glad to explain everything to you twice, if you'd like. If our bond truly was null and void, you'd know it. We wouldn't be connected. The bond simply wouldn't exist."

I turn away from him. Why would I have that dream? I thought it would be true. A wave of despair crashes into me.

"You're desperate to get rid of me, aren't you?" His voice is low. "I'm sorry to tell you, but you can't. We're in this for life, you and I. You best get used to this."

"I'll never get used to this."

"Then you'll suffer even more. The more you fight, the harder it gets."

I shake my head vehemently. "This is all your fault."

"Yes, I admit. It is. I'm to blame for all of this. I loved you and I couldn't live without you, and all you do is think about my brother."

"We won't have this discussion again!"

"You're right, we won't. Leave me alone, Bea. You've caused enough damage for tonight."

I scoff. "What? Your whore wasn't enough to lighten your mood?"

He glares at me. "No, Bea. She was not enough. She will never be enough. No woman but you will ever be enough. And all you do is torture me and rip my heart to pieces."

"Don't victimize yourself, Reed. And don't try to flatter me with words. I'm just a plaything to you, something you can rub in Raphas' face when he finally does come around."

He looks at me for a full minute without saying a word, then his eyes fill with tears. I'm shocked at this display of emotion, but his tears never fall. "You're not a plaything, Bea. Is that what you think? I admit I'm controlling, and at times I use people to get what I want, but my love for you is real. It's the only thing in my life that has ever made sense."

He stands and turns his back to me. He stares at the dark trees outside his window. "Raphas was always everyone's favorite. Even Sylvia loved Raphas more, even knowing that he was wrong and Dantes was a traitor." He chuckles. "He was the sweet one everyone played with. I was the brooding child, the mean child that lived in the shadows of his brother. I envied him, I did. I wanted what he had so effortlessly. I would throw tantrums to grab attention. He would simply smile and the room would fall to his feet. He had everyone worshipping him, even Gregory, which is why he tried to help you return to him."

He looks vulnerable and my heart goes out to him. I don't interrupt him.

"Our relationship is brittle because of me. I never wanted to have anything to do with him. He always tried. I never let him in. And now I'm being accused of stealing his mate." He laughs to himself. "Even my own pack mates judge me. But the Moon chose you for me, Bea. I swear it to you."

I lower my head. "I don't doubt you, Reed."

He nods in understanding. "You just prefer Raphas over me."

I don't say anything and he nods once again. "I'll need to accept the fact that he'll always win. I don't know why the Moon would do this to me. Why should my mate be his as well? How can the Moon be this unfair?"

"It isn't Raphas' fault."

"You think it's mine?"

I don't say anything. I don't there's anything left for me to say. I didn't think he had this vulnerability in him.

This changes things a little. I'm not the only one going through a terrible time, and he's trying his best and I keep making things more difficult for all of us.

"Don't, Bea."

"Don't pity me."

I shrug. "I just never knew what your point of view was. It isn't pity."

"I detest being pitied. Tease me, provoke me, insult me, but don't pity me. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable. And a male in my position can't afford to look weak or vulnerable."

"You're right. You're the Alpha of this pack. You need to set an example. For starters, don't skip meals again. Entertainment can wait till after meals."

He looks up suddenly. "You're not angry with me?"

I shrug. "For what?"

He sighs. "I only do it to provoke you most of the time. It never works."

I don't speak.

"Fine," he says. "You've said what you had to say, now you can leave me alone."

"Come to bed, Reed. You can't stay up all night."

He raises his brow. "I didn't think you cared about what I did."

I press my lips together, and he sighs. "You're doing this out of pity."

I shake my head. "I'm not." I think I'm genuinely worried about him. It can't be easy, living under someone's shadow.

He scoffs. "I don't believe you."

"Well then," I throw my hands in the air. "You can stay here all night."

I return to the bedroom alone, but exactly after five minutes, he lies down beside me. He doesn't sleep all night, and I don't either. We have our backs to each other, but our minds are linked. We stay this way until the sun rises.