Chapter Thirty-Six

The house is in a celebratory mood.

Reed defeated his enemy, and everyone's proud of him. A year ago, Dantes vowed to eviscerate him in front of the entire pack, but Reed proved him wrong today. The duel was successful and Dantes will no longer be a concern. Even I'm a little relieved at his death. Frankly, I thought this would take longer to resolve, perhaps if Raphas hadn't left him...

How would the brothers face each other after all this time? Once Dantes was defeated, would Raphas fight in his name? Would I let them fight each other? Who would survive? Reed is a skilled warrior, but I don't know about Raphas. I've never seen him in combat. My best guess is they would kill each other. But the most important question is how would he react to seeing me here? Dantes was surprised, perhaps he thought I had returned to Gavin. Is that what Raphas is doing? Is he even looking for me? Maybe he has already forgotten about me. Maybe Reed is right.

Reed is in a terrible mood. He's brooding and has been in his office since the afternoon. Night has fallen and he hasn't left. I wonder why he's acting this way. He should be content and celebrating with his pack. The man who murdered his family is dead.

Perhaps it has to do with my reaction earlier. I couldn't hide my concern for Raphas. I want to know about his whereabouts, I want to know if he's safe. He can't blame me for that and I can't lie to myself. My flesh is his, and maybe my heart, but the old Bea will always belong to Raphas. I'm torn between the two of them, but I would gladly choose Raphas, and I think that's what bothers him most. He must be mated to another by now. The thought of that alone makes me sick. How would I react to such news? I can't imagine him with anyone else. Is that selfish of me? If I have moved on, he should, too. But I haven't moved on, have I? His brother took me against my will, made me his mate without my authorization. That isn't moving on. What can I do if I can't resist his advances? My own flesh betrays me. His touch breathes life into me, but it has nothing to do with my feelings for him. It's the bond talking. If it weren't for the bond, this would never happen. I was prepared to die for our love, but Reed took me once again and sealed the bond. It's like the world is conspiring against us, or better yet, the Moon. The Moon showed both brothers my face, the Moon tied me to Reed.

Dinner is served and everyone has such an appetite. I can't eat, especially because the meat is pink and there's some blood pooling beneath it, and Dantes' blood is still staining the grass outside. I push it away. This is the first time Reed doesn't join us for dinner. Everyone keeps glancing at his empty seat, even I do. I need to figure out what is wrong with him. Something is wrong with him. I feel some strong emotion emanating from him, though I don't know what it is. I'm not that good at reading him, only when he's very close to me.

Something is up. He would never let his pack down. I rise from the table and all chatter stops. Their eyes follow me up the stairs. I stand in front of his office door. I press my ear to the door. I hear heavy breathing and a woman moaning. I recoil and move away from the door. What a pig. Here I am concerned about him and he's fine. Just fine. Excellent, in fact.

I huff with indignation and I storm to my room. There's an ache in my chest that just won't reside. Of course my body reacts badly to his adventures. I'm so stupid. I should have known that the strong emotion he was feeling was lust and not sadness or disappointment or even anger. I'm so preoccupied with blocking him out that I can't identify specific emotions yet. I should know better. I won't make this mistake again.

He can tell when I'm thinking of Raphas even when I'm yards away from him. How does my body react when I think of Raphas? Reed doesn't necessarily read my mind. Do I grow hot? Cold? Wistful? It's something to think about. Maybe I'll ask him someday. Or maybe not.

I peel my dress and decide to take a warm bath. I need to wash this day away. I think of Dantes twitching in the grass and I shudder. Deep down, I feel sorry for him, now that he's dead. He wasted his time and ended up dead. He was delusional and maybe even sick psychologically. I wonder what will happen with the Nameless Pack. There's no way they're reuniting again. Maybe some will return to the cabins, but the rest will be roaming the forests, lost. That isn't good. I'm glad Raphas left them when he still had a chance. I'm glad he didn't go down with Dantes.

I scrub myself from head to toe. After I'm done, I wrap a towel around my body and opt for silky pajama shorts and a matching top. It's so soft against my skin. I think I'll sleep well today. I might not, but it's worth a shot.

I lie in bed and close my eyes. Sleep comes easily to me. It rarely does these day, mostly because Raphas is in most of my dreams. But not in this one.

I dream of Penelope this time. It's strange. We're back in Dantes' cabin, and she's taking my measurements for the dress. This has happened before, I'm sure of it. I look at her dark silky hair from above. She's talking about the mating ceremony, the ritual, and she mentions witnesses.

"We'll serve as eyewitnesses. That's a very important part of a mating. If there aren't any witnesses, it's considered null and void."

My eyes spring open. I jump out of bed and go looking for Reed.

There's something urgent we need to discuss.