Chapter 11 Chapter 11

Chapter 11 Chapter 11

Myla’s POV

But why did I care?

Why did it matter to me?

I had come all this way, running from letting people's decisions govern me, I can't let his do so.

So I turned away and didn’t look at him again. I couldn’t.

My fingers tightened slightly around the edge of the tray before I forced them to relax.

Kyle had gotten to the table already and was staring at me with his hands raised.

I took a deep breath and walked over to where he was, keeping my steps steady.

“Hey, what happened? You zoned out there,” he said and I shook my head.

“It's nothing, just what happened earlier during workout,” I lied.

Kyle bought it immediately. “I told you not to take it to heart,” he sighed then leaned closer, rubbing my shoulder. “Don't bother yourself, you'll soon get the hang of where you are.”

I sighed cause he didn't know how much I already knew.

“Thanks, Kyle. What would I do without you?” I asked with a smile.

“Nothing, you'd probably be on probation now,” he chuckled and I raised a brow.

“Probation?” I asked.

“Yeah, that's where they keep those that can't keep up and cause trouble,” he explained and I swallowed hard.

No jokes there.

We started eating now, going through it without much of a word.

I kept fighting with myself not to steal a glance at Blake even though everything in me wanted to.

“How's the food?” Kyle asked out of nowhere, pulling my thoughts back to him.

“Oh, it's good I guess,” I chuckled, not even sure what exactly I was eating.

“It's crap,” Kyle corrected with a smile. “Totally not worth eating.”

I laughed but zoned out again. I watched his lips as he kept talking beside me.

I nodded when he paused to make him feel I was hearing him, but in truth, I wasn't hearing a word.

I hated this. I hated that one look had done this to me.

So after playing around with the food a bit, I stood up.

“I’m done,” I said, even though I wasn’t.

Kyle looked up at me, pulling his brows together slightly. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

I didn’t give myself time to hesitate, I didn’t give myself time to look back.

I turned and walked away.

There was barely anyone in the hallways as I moved through, and a cold wave passed through me.

Or maybe that was all just me.

My steps were steady, controlled, but there was something sitting under my skin—something I couldn’t quite name.

And it wasn't anger, at least not exactly.

But it was close enough.

I pushed open the door to the room and stepped inside to an empty space. Good.

I dropped my phone down on my table, the sound sharper than I expected.

Then I let out a slow hearty breath. “Get over it,” I muttered under my breath.

Because what else was there to do?

He had made it clear. Crystal clear.

And I wasn’t about to stand there and pretend like I didn’t understand.

So I moved, grabbed my things, headed into the showers for a fresh clean up.

By the time I had finished cleaning up and dressing as well, the room had slowly begun to fill up.

I already knew what next so I waited and when Kyle got out dressed, I stood and walked over to him.

“Let's start going,” I said immediately and he raised a brow.

“Woah, someone is in the mood to learn today,” he joked.

I rolled my eyes and he laughed it off, getting on a few more things, putting them in his bag and applying his cologne before stepping out.

That's when I realized I had none and couldn't bring myself to ask him.

So as we stepped out towards the class, I leaned closer to him.

“Hey, Kyle, how do we get stuff down here?” I asked.

“Oh, you prepare a list, hand it to the officer at the door with your name and get your stuff later,” he explained and I hummed.

That woman again.

We walked the rest of the way to class in silence.

We got in and Kyle led us over to two seats, I took one without any hesitation this time.

I realized I wasn't with a note or pen, so I just stared around.

“You may need this,” Kyle said, handing over a notebook and pen to me and I smiled wildly.

“Thanks a lot," I muttered to him.

“What would you really do without me?” He teased and I rolled my eyes and turned to the front, pulling the notebook towards myself as I settled in.

Around me, people were still talking, shifting, settling into place.

I didn’t pay much attention to any of that, for once, I was focused.

Then a lady walked in not long after with large notes in hand, not the same person I saw last time.

I kept staring at her till Kyle leaned in. “That's our tutor,” he said and I nodded.

She didn’t waste much time after that, went straight to everything.

“Today, we build on what you should already understand,” she said with her voice cutting clean through the room.

No one spoke. No one moved.

“Awareness. Control. Execution.”

She wrote the words down.

“You fail at one, you fail at all,” she added as she turned.

I picked up the pen without thinking and started writing down everything she said.

I penned down everything quickly, like my hands had already decided this mattered.

The tutor continued, explaining concepts and breaking things down.

She didn't spend much time on each concept, but went as clear as possible, I guess.

The people around me kept nodding at her words, and for the first time, I followed through everything.

I wasn't just listening at this point, I was understanding. Each word connected to the next. Each explanation built on something before it.

I leaned forward slightly without realizing it with my pen moving faster now, taking notes of everything she said and wrote down while reading through what I could.

“Control is not force,” Electra said, turning slightly towards us. “If you’re forcing it, you’ve already lost it.”

I paused. Then wrote it down and underlined it. Cause that made sense.

The people by my side shifted and muttered among themselves, but I paid them no attention.

Pages flipped around me but I did as I could to keep my eyes ahead.

The tutor moved on, giving demonstrations for concepts and setting out examples.

She threw questions around the room and some got answered while others didn't.

I followed everything though, every word, every explanation. Something about it just clicked in me.

Then it started repeating in me like it wasn’t as far from me as I thought.

Like maybe, maybe I wasn’t as behind as I felt.

My pen slowed slightly. Then stopped completely as for just a second a thought had formed in my mind.

And I didn’t push it away at first, I let it sit, let it settle.

Then raised my hand when I couldn't hold it back any longer.

The tutor's gaze snapped to me almost immediately. “Yes?”

My throat felt slightly dry. But I didn’t waste too much time, rising to my feet.

“If control isn’t force,” I started, keeping my voice steady despite the way my chest tightened. “Then what happens when someone only learns through force?”