Chapter 92 The guilty

Chapter 92 The guilty
The hospital was the same as I remembered.

Sterile corridors. Fluorescent lights. The smell of antiseptic and fear. I ran behind Romeo, my heart pounding, my legs burning, my mind refusing to process what I'd seen.

Tyler's room was at the end of the hall. But by the time we reached there, he wasn't in his room anymore. We talked to a ward nurse who asked if we were friends of Tyler before giving us any information about him. 

She told us he was dead. They didn't have any valid reason except for the fact that he may have succumbed to his injuries. Which was confusing to hear because the last time we had seen him they had said he was doing better. 

The nurse left us in the hall as we watched in shock at the empty room. 

We stayed at the hospital for a little while.

Romeo talked to the nurses, the doctors and anybody he could to be sure if someone hadn't come to visit him before he died. The police had been involved in the case and they had come to take statements as Tyler's parents suspected foul play. Romeo and I left shortly after that. 

Tyler was dead. And he was dead because of me. Because of Romeo. Because of a war we couldn't seem to win. Because we chose to confront Marcus and Damian. 

Your fault.

The text echoed in my head, relentless and cruel.

Your fault.

I pressed my hands to my face and tried to breathe.

\-———————————

Romeo found me ten minutes later.

He crouched beside me, his hand on my back, his voice soft. "Calliope. Look at me."

I couldn't look at him. Couldn't meet his eyes. Because if I looked at him, I'd see the truth reflected back at me.

It was my fault.

"Calliope." His hand cupped my face, forcing me to look up. "This isn't your fault."

I laughed. "The text said 'Your fault.' Not 'his fault.' Mine."

"The text was sent to me. It was meant for me."

"That doesn't matter."

"It does matter. They're trying to hurt me. To get into my head. And they're using you to do it." His thumb brushed my cheek. "Tyler's death is on them. Not you. Never you."

"But if I'd told the truth, if I'd told the police who attacked him..." 

"They would have found another way. They would have gotten to him eventually. They're relentless, Calliope. They don't stop. Not for anything. Not for anyone."

I shook my head. "You don't know that."

"I know them. I've known them my whole life." He touched my face, his eyes dark and desperate. "This isn't your fault. Do you hear me? This isn't your fault."

I wanted to believe him. Wanted to believe that the guilt I was carrying could be lifted, that I wasn't responsible for the death of a teenage boy.

But the text was still on his phone. The words were still in my head.

Your fault.

I pushed myself to my feet, my legs shaking.

"I need to go home," I said.

"I'll take you."

"No." I couldn't look at him. Couldn't bear to see the worry in his eyes, the fear, the love he was trying to give me. "I need to be alone."

"Calliope..." 

"Please, Romeo. Just give me tonight."

He was quiet for a long moment. Then: "Okay. But I'll be at the annex tomorrow. And we're going to talk about this."

I nodded and walked away.

\-———————-

The annex was dark when I got home.

I didn't turn on the lights. Didn't take off my coat. Just sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the wall, the weight of the night pressing down on me.

Tyler was dead.

I should have protected him. Should have told the cops. But I hadn't.

And now he was dead.

I pressed my hands to my face and let the tears come.

\-—————————-

Ruby arrived at the annex the next morning.

I'd texted her the night before, just a few words, not enough to explain, just enough to let her know I needed her. She'd shown up before the sun was fully up, her hair still wet from the shower, her eyes heavy with sleep.

"Cal..."

"He's dead, Ruby."

She sat beside me, her hand on my knee. "Who?"

"Tyler. The freshman from the hospital. The one Damien and Marcus attacked." My voice cracked. "They killed him. They sent Romeo a picture. It said 'Your fault.' But it was mine."

Ruby was quiet for a long moment. Then: "Why would it be your fault?"

"Because I found him. Because I pulled the fire alarm. Because I didn't tell the police who attacked him. Because I let them get away." I looked at her, my eyes burning. "I could have saved him. I could have stopped all of this. But I didn't."

"Noo. It's not your fault." 

"Don't tell me it's not my fault. Don't tell me I couldn't have done anything. I could have..." 

Ruby pulled me into her arms, holding me tight.

"Stop blaming yourself," she said. "You are not to blame for this. As tragic as it may sound." 

"Ruby..." 

"I mean it." She pulled back, her eyes meeting mine.

I wanted to believe her. I desperately wanted to. 

\-——————

Romeo came that night.

He found me sitting on the floor of the annex, my back against the wall, my knees drawn to my chest. He sat down beside me, his shoulder pressing against mine.

"Ruby told me you talked," he said.

"Yeah."

"Did it help?"

"Not really."

He was quiet for a moment. Then: "I know what it's like. The guilt. The feeling that everything is your fault. I've carried it for years."

"How do you survive it?"

He thought about it. "I don't. Not really. I just... keep going. Because the people I love need me to keep going."

"I don't think I can do this," I said. "I don't think I'm strong enough."

"Then let me be strong for you."

"I'm serious. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I'll be there." He took my hand, interlacing our fingers. "You're not alone, Calliope. You've never been alone."

I leaned my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

I finally drifted to sleep.