Breathe Jake...Just breathe...
I can hear the crowd chanting my name and I know that this is my queue. They love me and they have come from all over the world to see me. I will not disappoint them. I feel my manager's hand on my shoulder, standing right beside me.
"Do not worry Jake, this is just like any other night"
Any other night? It is clear to me that he has no idea that tonight is not like any other night. My life has been turned upside down and the worst is that I can not tell anyone.
Then the music starts and I know that I need to be on stage now. But I feel immediately frozen in time. I do not know if I would be able to do this tonight. I can not go on the stage and pretend to be something that I am not.
I am not who these fans think I am. I am not worth their praise. I am pure evil and they will see right through me...
TWO WEEKS EARLIER
I am in the middle of my dance practice at the studio in one of my homes. I know that if I do not know this dance by heart, I will make a fool of myself on stage. I have a lot of people that dance with me but I prefer to practice on my own until I get it exactly right.
My dad always used to tell me that I was a perfectionist and I never wanted anything out of place. So, after my dad's death, I decided to put my perfectionism into my dancing and singing.
If it wasn't for my dad's constant support I would have probably not been the superstar that I am today. I can feel the sweat dripping from my brow but I do not stop. I keep on staring in the mirror as if suddenly I will get the dance right but I know that practice makes perfect.
I try to get my moves as perfect as I can and then the dance instructor turns to me.
"You just need to stay calm and let the music lead you. Then you will get it much quicker"
Peter has been my dance instructor ever since I started to become a superstar. He has the personality that I want in anyone that must teach me something. He always keeps me calm and reminds me that it is not necessarily the move that counts but the feeling with the music that plays it out perfectly.
"Yes...I understand but can you show me this one move again?"
He starts the music from the beginning and I watch myself as I make every move. I flip my head to the one side and then to the other and I see my showy white hair moving in perfect harmony. There I got it. That is exactly what I was looking for. I know now that I am ready to practice with my backup dancers.
"Thank you. Can we schedule a rehearsal for tomorrow with the dancers?"
"No problem, I will see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, have a good one"
I watch as he leaves the studio and I realize that I am all alone again. I have so many people around me but for some reason, I feel so lonely. Luckily, I have a date tonight and I am sure things will go the way that I want them to.
I make my way to the shower and watch as the water runs down my perfectly shaped body. I love to work out but that is not the only reason. I have to keep an excellent body for my fans. There are certain expectations when you are a superstar and this is one of them.
But for as long as I remember I did not have much of a problem keeping a perfect body. My muscles would form easily without much effort. Then, when I have finished showering, I get dressed because my date will be here any minute.
I met this girl at one of my concerts and I always love to date a fan. We will not be going out tonight because I do not want the paparazzi to know what I am doing. I have everything planned out for tonight and I am sure I will get what I want.
Then I make my way up to the sky lounge and the chef is busy preparing the perfect dinner. I am lighting the last candle and then she walks in. I make sure to always pick out the prettiest woman in the crowd. I know, usually, they will do exactly what I want.
"I am so glad that you could join me tonight"
I can see how she is freaking out and I walk over to her to give her a hug.
"Please, do not cry. We are just going to have a lovely dinner"
I like to entertain my fans and I always award them with a prize at the end of the concert. Which is a date with me. I do not just do this for them but for me too. I do not like to be lonely and sometimes they fill that void.
"I can not believe that I am here. It is so unbelievable!"
The only problem with having a fan over is they always do exactly what I say. They always sing my praise and there is no one above me. I know that it sounds wrong but I would love to just go out with someone that does not see that I am a superstar but that I am a normal guy looking for a girl.
But I guess that is the price that I have to pay for stardom and there is nothing I can do about my situation. I love what I do and I love my fans. I pull out the chair and let her sit across from me. She truly is a beauty.
We start to eat and all we talk about is me. When I ask her a question about herself she does not give me a long answer. She quickly changed it back to me and sometimes I do not like to talk about myself. Sometimes, I just want to see how it is in a normal person's life.
But then I move my chair closer to her and start to hold her hand. She completely freaks out and it is clear that she changes every second in her emotions.
"You look so beautiful tonight..."
I can see that I have her exactly where I want her to be. I have to admit that I am not the "good guy." I am a bad boy at heart. I know what I want and I go for it and tonight I want her.
"Would you like to see my room?"
"Really?! Yes!! God, yes!"
I help her up and lead her to my bedroom. I know what is going to happen tonight and I know what she wants to happen tonight. I open the door to my bedroom where I have lead many girls before. This is the only way that I know how to let the loneliness go away for a little while.
Then I start to kiss her and she melts in my arms. She wants me with everything in her and I do not want to be alone. Then I lead her to my bed and we lay down for the night.
The next morning bright and early I am back in the studio rehearsing with the dancers. I know that I should feel bad for leaving her alone like that but she gave me what I needed and she enjoyed my company. I usually just let Ralph give them the usual note that I write and then show them the way out.
I can not afford to be tied down at the moment because I have a career to think about. I have a show in a few days and if I do not get this song right, there will be no more fans. There is a lot of things going through my mind and for now, she is not one of them.
I know that I will have my pick again after my show and it feels good that they want me.
"Okay, let's do it again from the top"
My dance is perfect and my words on point. I know that my new single will be a hit and I know that this one will hit the music billboard top ten. My aim is to get number one for a few days in a row and I will get what I want.
Finally, it is time for my show. Tonight is the first night that I will perform my new single. I feel nervous but my manager is right beside me. I am ready. I turn to look at him and then I smile.
My outfit is perfect and my hair will make the ladies' hearts melt. Then the music starts and I run out to the stage. I sing and dance perfectly and the people cheer. They dance and sing with me and I can see how they love me.
As I walk down the stage and look at the audience while I sing, someone immediately draws my attention. She is more beautiful than anyone I have ever seen. She does not sing along or dance, she just stands there and smiles at me. She has the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. Her long blonde hair has me hypnotized and I try my best to carry on with my show.
Every time I try to walk past her with a different song my eyes just keeps falling on her. I do not know what it is but it is as if an invisible force draws me to her. As I finish one of my songs I make my way to the back and I ask my trusty driver Bruno.
"You know how I always pick a girl out of the crowd?!"
"Yes, I do, sir"
"I want you to go down to the crowd and I will show you who I want. I need to see her after the show"
"Yes, sir"
Then I make my way back to the stage and I finish my concert. I make sure that Bruno knows exactly what girl I am talking about. She is perfect in every way and she has captured my full attention. I can not wait to spend the night with her...