Chapter 23 An Alpha's Burden
Zayne's POV
I froze when Red asked about Nyra…it wasn't like she was a secret. Many people knew about her , to the point that it became a rumour that I had something to do with her death…they weren't completely wrong, I wasn't there to save her.
“Did anyone say anything to you?" I asked, wondering why she suddenly asked.
"You don't have to tell me,” she started again, "I know that she's important, I shouldn't have asked.”
Although she was saying one thing, the look in her eyes was saying something else. I should've known that that was the reason she left the room before I woke up and was also asleep by the time I got into the room.
It bothered me so much since barely a few hours ago, everything was okay. We were laughing and she was teasing me but all of a sudden, it felt like a switch had been turned off. I could see the walls going up between us, brick by brick.
"Red," I said softly, reaching for her hand and sparks shot through me, reminding me of how much I've missed it and it wasn't up to a day yet. She is so addictive! "It's not that I don't want to tell you. It's just..."
The words stuck in my throat like thorns. How could I explain that every time I thought about Nyra, guilt threatened to swallow me whole? That her name alone brought back the metallic scent of blood and the sound of her final breath?
"She was my first mate," I finally managed, the words coming out rougher than intended. "Nyra was pregnant when the rogues attacked our territory a few years ago."
Red's eyes widened slightly, but she stayed silent, letting me continue at my own pace.
"I was supposed to be there that day. Should've been there." My hands clenched into fists. "But I was dealing with a border dispute between two territories over. By the time I got back..." I shook my head, unable to finish.
"Zayne, I'm so sorry," Red whispered, and this time she was the one reaching for my hand. Her fingers were warm against mine, grounding me in the present.
“I was heartbroken, I blamed myself. Still do." I looked down at our intertwined hands. "I didn't think this was a conversation you'd want to hear. Not when we're just starting out our life. But it was never a secret, I was going to tell you when you were ready.”
"You think I'm that fragile?" There was a hint of her usual fire returning to her voice. "That I can't handle knowing about your past?"
"No, it's not that—"
"Then what is it?" She squeezed my hand tighter. "Because from where I'm standing, it feels like you're deciding what I can and can't handle without even asking me."
She had a point. I'd been so focused on protecting her from the ugly parts of my past that I hadn't considered she might want to know all of me, not just the parts I deemed acceptable.
"You're right," I admitted. "I'm sorry. I should've trusted you with this."
"I'm sorry too," she said, her voice softer now. "For pulling away. For making assumptions instead of just talking to you."
We sat there for a moment, the tension slowly dissipating between us. Red shifted closer, resting her head against my shoulder.
"Thank you for telling me," she murmured. "About Nyra. About all of it."
I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, breathing in her scent. "Fuck, I missed you." I muttered, not letting go of her.
“I can tell,” she chuckled lightly. "You really did a number on the guys, I doubt they'll be showing up for training anytime soon."
"But it's okay, I don't mind having you to myself for a few more days alone.” She added, her arms tightening around me.
Kael let out a groan, " she really doesn't know the effect she has on us.” he said and I agreed, with the innocent look she had on her face…it only made it worse.
I Ied her back to the room, where I took a quick shower, washing off the sweat and smell from the training. “I spoke to my wolf today…turns out she has a name and I didn't know.” Red called, from the room, the excitement in her voice evident.
"How did I forget that?” I thought, "it makes sense why she was having a hard time mindlinking anyone.
“I swear, we're losing our ability to think straight." Kael murmured and I couldn't disagree.
When I was done, I sat beside her on the bed and she turned to face me. “You smell so good,” I heard her whisper, her nose brushing my shoulder as she leaned in closer.
A low chuckle escaped my lips, “you smell even better." I told her.
Her smile widened, "you're right,”
The playfulness in her voice made my chest tighten. She didn’t realize how easily she did that — turned a simple moment into something that made my heartbeat trip.
“Tell me,” I said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, “what’s your wolf’s name?”
Her lips curved as she whispered, “Nira.”
I paused, the similarity to Nyra's name was the last thing I expected, but I covered it with a smile. “It's beautiful." I told her, and it was.
"Do you think you can try mindlinking me now? You have found a connection with your wolf, it should be easier.” I told her, "just picture me and imagine you're talking to me.”
She nodded, a look of determination flickering across her face as she closed her eyes.
For a few seconds, nothing happened. Then her brows furrowed, her lips parting slightly like she was concentrating too hard.
Kael?
The voice brushed faintly against my mind — soft, uncertain, but hers. My chest tightened.
“You did it,” I mindlinked back, trying to keep my own surprise hidden.
Her eyes snapped open, glowing faintly, excitement lighting them up. “I heard you!” she gasped.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Told you it would work.”
She grinned, throwing her arms around me without thinking, her laughter muffled against my neck. The sudden warmth of her body against mine made my wolf stir.
“Careful, Red,” I murmured against her ear. “If you keep doing that, I won't be able to control myself.”
She pulled back just enough to look at me, her cheeks flushed. “Maybe that’s the point.”
I groaned pulling her closer, “Fuck!" I thought, as my lips came crashing on her own.
When I returned to the office later in the evening, I was in a much better mood but I couldn't say the same for Xavier and Tristan, who were glaring at me.
But I ignored it, and focused on more pressing matters. “Did you find any clue that can help?"
"I'm sorry, Alpha.” Xavier replied.
"But we did notice a pattern," Tristan continued, pulling out a map. "They're testing our defenses, looking for weaknesses."
It wasn't the perfect clue, but it is something.