It was quiet at the table and everyone was looking at dad waiting for him to speak. After a moment, he cleared his throat.
Then, he clasped his palms and spoke up. "First of all, I'd like to apologize to all of you. I'm very sorry that things had to turn out this way."
I looked his way as he spoke and I could see that his eyes were turning red.
He added, "But most of all, I'm very thankful that we are all together. That this family didn't break into pieces after everything that happened."
He sounded choked and emotional. From the corner of my eyes, I saw a movement. It was Mom.
She reached out her hand towards his palm which was now placed on the table. Then, she placed it on his and squeezed it a little.
Dad turned to look at her when she did this. A small smile formed on his face and he nodded at her.
Afterward, he turned his attention to us again. His gaze landed on Jasper's face. Then, he looked at me. He also reached out a hand to rub John's hair.
"I know you are all young." He continued.
"But-" He said. "I also believe that you all have an opinion. You're all strong kids and I'm thankful to have you."
There was a small smile at the edge of his lips towards the end of his speech. He seemed to be more composed now.
It was quite a heartwarming moment. Mostly, because of dad's words. After all, who didn't appreciate being treated as a person who had an opinion? And not a kid who couldn't tell things apart.
Jasper looked over to dad. He didn't seem teary-eyed like the rest of us. But, it was evident in his voice he was shaken up too.
He said, "We don't blame you, dad. You are the coolest person I've ever known and I know you tried your best."
His words immediately got dad flashing him a million-dollar smile. As I say there watching them, I couldn't help but feel compelled to speak up too.
"Dad. Mom-"
Everyone immediately turned in my direction. Their gazes were plastered on my face as they waited for me to speak up.
As I said I was not an outspoken person. And I cringed at the words I was about to say.
But, I said them anyway.
"I love you all."
It took a second for them to process my words. But when they did, I could see the wide smile on my dad's face for a minuscule moment before I was swept into a hug.
"Aww, baby-"
The smell of bacon and burnt egg immediately assaulted my nose the moment mon wrapped me in a hug. The aroma was still on her since she cooked earlier. It was quite strong. But, it made me feel relaxed.
Because it smelt like home. And it filled the void in my heart a little.
Above my head, I heard dad say, "Love you too, Chels."
I soon disentangled from mom's hug and I sat up. My heart tingled and as I watched them all, I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. I hadn't told them about everything that happened.
So, I did.
"Chris and I broke up."
My audience was stunned for a moment and even though I didn't look at them, I could tell how unexpected my words hit them. Except for Jasper who already knew, of course.
I immediately looked down feeling a little embarrassed sharing such during dinner. My gaze landed on the shorts I was putting on and it was then I noticed that there were tiny stripes on the shorts.
I picked at my nails.
"What happ-"Mom was about to question.
I cut her to it. I added. "With Mona."
A gasp escaped mom's lips as I spoke. I could relate to how she was feeling. She knew how close Mona and I were. We had been friends for a long time and I shared a lot of things with her. I trusted and confided in her.
I could tell from the way dad's gaze darkened and his lips tightened that he wasn't pleased. And I guessed he as regretting not knowing before we left NYC about it. He was very protective of me and since childhood, he was usually skeptical of boys around me.
And, I knew if he was aware of it in NYC, he'd have stormed Chris's crib and beaten the shit out of him.
But, that wouldn't have solved anything. Instead, I'd be more embarrassed.
So, I had to pull up my big girl pants and move on.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Chelsea." Mom said as I looked at her. My eyes misted and I felt warm seeing her look at me with a concerned gaze.
And she was reaching out to embrace me again. But, this time I avoided it feeling very embarrassed.
I immediately point toward the dishes in front of us and said in a small voice, "We should start eating. The food is about to get cold."
My words brought a realization to the rest of them. Mom who had spent a lot of energy on making dinner immediately urged everyone to eat.
It was very heartwarming at dinner and I could tell everyone was relaxed. No one mentioned what I said and I was glad for that. They all understand I wasn't keen on talking about it.
I wasn't exactly an outspoken person and I easily got embarrassed. So, they didn't mention it anymore afterward.
After dinner, everyone retired to bed after some sets of prayers.
I laid in bed about thirty minutes after brushing my teeth for the night thinking about everything that had happened. It still felt surreal. But, I was getting used to it.
And, I've realized that I needed to move on.
I remembered the words that dad said at dinner. I had my family. And they loved me. They didn't desert me as everyone did. They were there and I needed to be there for them too.
At least, I was away from all that drama in NYC.
Maybe, starting afresh was not a bad idea after all.