Chapter 51 CHAPTER FORTY SECOND PART
ALEX
The great hall is packed. Every wolf who can walk is here, and the ones who can't are being carried in on stretchers. They need to see me. Need to know their Alpha survived the battle.
I stand at the front, Alora at my side, trying to project strength despite the exhaustion pulling at me. The berserker rage takes everything, and recovering from it is always brutal.
But the faces looking back at me aren't relieved. They're afraid.
Of me.
"Today we faced our first major assault," I begin, my voice carrying through the hall. "The combined forces of Northern, Eastern, and Riverside Packs attacked our territory with the intent to breach our defenses and claim what's ours."
Murmurs ripple through the crowd.
"They failed." I let that sink in. "We held our ground. We protected our pack, our families, our home."
"At what cost?" A voice from the back. I recognize him, Robert, one of the mid-level warriors. "You killed three wolves who were trying to surrender. That's not honor, Alpha. That's madness."
The word hangs in the air like an accusation.
"You're right," I say, and shocked silence falls. "I lost control in the berserker state. I couldn't distinguish surrender from threat. Three wolves died who shouldn't have." I force myself to meet Robert's eyes. "That failure is mine. I take full responsibility."
"The berserker rage runs in your bloodline," Elder Margaret says from her seat. "Your father struggled with it as well. But he never bonded with a blood-wolf. Never had the mate bond potentially amplifying his aggressive tendencies."
"The mate bond didn't cause this," Alora says, her voice clear and strong. "Alex has always carried the berserker capability. Today's battle triggered it, the threat level, the need to protect the pack, not our bond."
"Can you prove that?" Elder Thomas stands. "Or is that a convenient rationalization?"
"I can prove," I say, "that my mate pulled me out of the berserker state. Something no one has ever done before. Not my father's mate. Not any of the warriors who had to forcibly restrain me the last time it happened." I look at Alora, and through the bond, I send her my gratitude. "She brought me back. Because the bond gives her that ability."
"Or," Elder Thomas counters, "she brought you back because the bond made you vulnerable to her influence. What happens in the next battle when she's not there? When you lose control with no one to pull you back?"
The question strikes at my deepest fear. What if he's right? What if next time, I can't come back on my own?
"Then we make sure I'm always there," Alora says firmly. "If my presence keeps him grounded, keeps him from losing complete control, then I fight beside him."
"Absolutely not," I growl. "You're not putting yourself in danger—"
"See?" Elder Margaret gestures to us. "Even now, the possessiveness clouds his judgment. He can't think strategically when it comes to her safety."
"Of course I can't think strategically about her safety," I snap. "She's my mate. My instinct to protect her is as fundamental as breathing. But that doesn't make me unfit to lead."
"Doesn't it?" Elder Thomas moves forward. "Today proved you're a danger to everyone around you when threatened. What happens when the six packs return? When the battles intensify? How many of our own wolves will you kill in your rage?"
"I won't let it happen again," I say through gritted teeth.
"You can't promise that." Elder Margaret's voice is almost gentle. "The berserker state isn't something you can control with willpower. It's in your blood. And now, with the mate bond potentially amplifying it..." She looks at the gathered pack. "I motion for a formal evaluation. Immediate assessment of the Alpha's fitness to continue leading during wartime."
Murmurs of agreement ripple through the crowd.
Through the bond, I feel Alora's anguish. This is what she feared. What we both feared. The bond gives them ammunition to remove me from power.
"I second the motion," Elder Thomas says.
"All in favor?"
Too many hands rise. Not a majority, but enough to force the evaluation.
"Fine," I say, my voice cold. "Evaluate me. Test me. Do whatever you need to do." I let my power flood the room, reminding them exactly who's Alpha. "But understand this, I'm not stepping down. I'm not giving up my mate. And I'm not surrendering to wolves who bet on when I'll break."
I turn and leave before they can respond, Alora hurrying to keep up with me.
In the hallway, I punch the wall, leaving a crater in the stone. "They're going to use this. Use the berserker rage as proof that the bond is affecting me."
"Maybe it is," she says quietly.
I spin to face her. "What?"
"The bond is intense. You said it yourself, you can't think strategically when it comes to my safety." She steps closer. "What if the bond is amplifying your protective instincts? Making the berserker rage more likely to trigger?"
"Then we deal with it," I growl. "Like we've dealt with everything else."
"How?" Her voice breaks. "How do we deal with you losing control and killing our own warriors? How do we deal with the pack losing faith in you? How do we deal with—"
I kiss her, cutting off the spiral of fear. Through the bond, I pour everything I feel: love, determination, desperation.
"We figure it out," I say against her lips. "Together. Like we promised."
But even as I say it, I feel the doubt creeping in.
Because Elder Thomas was right about one thing.
Next battle, I might not have her there to pull me back.
And I have no idea what I'll do if I lose myself to the rage again.
No idea how many people I'll hurt before someone stops me.
Or if anyone even can.