Chapter 182 182

Chapter 182 182
I couldn't sleep at all while Luca was peacefully sleeping and hugging me like I was a pillow. To be honest, I wanted to leave, but his grip on me was too tight.

I looked at the wall clock; it was already 1 a.m. I needed to leave. I couldn't fall asleep here.

I looked at Luca. I sighed and tried to remove his arm from my waist. His hug loosened, so I was able to free his arm. I didn't waste any time and immediately got up. I just sighed and held my arm, then stared at Luca's sleeping face.

I know where this will lead... He'll surely forget about this tomorrow, again. I'll be the only one who remembers, the only one who thinks and overthinks, because I also don't have the courage to ask him... I don't know if he's doing this on purpose, but he has no reason to do that.

I sighed and stared at his face. Why is he doing this to me? And why am I being like this?

I smiled bitterly and ran my fingers through my disheveled hair... I guess this is what Aiden was talking about before. I kind of get it now why he suddenly acted weird ever since Luca came back. Maybe that's why Aiden couldn't pretend anymore. Aiden's facade was ruined ever since Luca came into the picture... Aiden stalked me and watched my every move for the past years... perhaps that's why he knew how much I loved Luca back then.

I'm not stupid. All this time, I've been aware of what I felt... I know what I feel for Luca right now, but I don't want to admit it to myself... I can't. We're just Vanna's parents. That's as far as we should go. We're both in a good place. We're finally civil and comfortable with each other. I don't know why these things are happening when they shouldn't be.

I don't want to be weak for him again. I don't want my mind to be confused because of him again. We're good like this; we're both okay. We don't have to be together or get back together to be good parents to Vanna. I just don't want him in my life again, romantically... I don't want to love him again.

I just smiled bitterly and bit my lower lip... What the hell am I even thinking? Why am I waiting for him? Why am I getting close to him? Why am I acting like this? I don't want to be like this. I don't want to let anyone into my heart again... After all that I've gone through... I realized that the only thing I have to do is to take care of Vanna and to be a good mother to her... Nothing else.

Luca and I were good now. I'll let him be in our daughter's life because it's his right, but I don't want him in my life again. I want our relationship to stay just like this... We are both at peace. If our hearts will be involved again, it will just ruin everything.

"What do you want me to cook for you?" Luca asked me when I arrived in the kitchen.

It seems like he still has a hangover, but here he is now, cooking breakfast, which he always does. I just went to Vanna and kissed her cheek, then slung on my bag.

"Aren't you going to have breakfast first?" Luca asked, his forehead creased.

I just gave him a faint smile and shook my head. "No. I'm good. I'm going to be late," I just made an excuse.

Luca just touched the back of his neck and nodded. I don't know why I suddenly knew what was running through his mind right now. He's probably thinking if there's a problem or if he did something wrong... He always touches the back of his neck when that's the case. I also didn't realize that I was slowly observing even the small details about him like that.

I didn't wait for Luca to speak and immediately left the house after saying goodbye to Vanna... I know Luca will notice that I'm avoiding him, but I can't let myself and my feelings be in turmoil again. I'm doing well, I'm already fine... even if it's just me and Vanna.

I spent the whole day at work, keeping myself busy so I wouldn't think about anything else. I even saw a text from Luca saying he had already picked up Vanna from school; I didn't reply.

"Cashiel has a girlfriend?" I asked Cherry on the other line, laughing.

"Yes, ate. I can't even believe it. I'll tell you later; just drop by the coffeeshop near the mall. Let's have a date first before I go back up north," she just said.

I just laughed softly and agreed to what she wanted. My siblings and I rarely have time together since they started working, so I don't refuse whenever they want to bond.

"Cherry is late again," I whispered. I looked at my watch and sipped on my coffee.

I froze when I noticed someone sat across from me. I smiled and looked up, but my smile immediately vanished when I saw who it was.

"A-Aiden..." My knees immediately quivered. I can feel my pulse racing and my heart beating fast... and I know it's because of fear.

I discreetly opened my sling bag and got the pepper spray. My whole body immediately trembled with fear.

He just crossed his arms and looked at me coldly. He has a scar on his eyebrow and forehead. He smirked at me and touched the back of his neck.

"You're heavily protected, Cres... I had a hard time taking down all the guys who were secretly watching over you," he said and brushed his shoulder.

"W-What are you doing here?" I asked and gripped the pepper spray tighter.

"Chill... I just want to talk. I have no interest in you anymore... Well, it's not fun anymore," he muttered and shook his head.

It was only now that I realized he was wearing a black t-shirt and pants. He was also wearing a hat. Knowing him before, he likes wearing clothes with light colors... He was just really pretending during those times... and for him, it was fun. Playing with me, traumatizing me, scaring me... is just fun for him.

He took a stick of cigarette and lit it up even though smoking is prohibited inside the coffeeshop. The staff just looked at him and seemed to not want to stop him... I didn't know that he's a smoker... He just tilted his head and puffed on his cigarette.

"J-Just leave... I-If you don't leave, I-I'll call Luca and--"

"Do I look scared of him?" He chuckled. "But let's chill first, hmm? We're just going to talk... Before I leave you alone, I'm giving you a chance to know the things you want to know... Isn't that a good deal?" He took another puff of his cigarette.

"I-I don't want to know anything... All I want is for you to leave me alone," I just said, trying to make my voice sound brave.

"Hmm... I'm Aiden Donello, a powerful rich man who mercilessly kills people, I don't like kids, I want to get everything I want, I see people as pawns and their only role is to amuse me, I don't value life even though I'm a doctor... and I do not feel anything... physically and emotionally," he said and smiled at me... My whole body shivered with his smile. "Luca looked really satisfied when he was torturing me without knowing that I didn't feel anything at all. It was fun to watch. He's so gullible..." He chuckled.

"Y-You're sick, Aiden..."

Why is he doing this? Why is he saying all of this to me? What else does he want?

"I-If you don't feel anything, physically and emotionally... Then w-why did you say that you love me?" I mumbled and gripped the pepper spray tighter.

"Well..." he scratched his eyebrow. "I don't really know. I think I love you because you're the only person I don't want to kill... You amuse me," he gave me a small smile, and it sent shivers down my spine.

"I-I see..." I mumbled... I feel disgusted knowing that I loved this man before. "I-If that's all you have to say, can you just leave? I-I don't want to see your face," I just said. My breathing was heavy as I glared at him.