Chapter 78
Carlo
“Just listen to me, please…”
My mother’s voice is breaking, almost a whisper, like the weight of it is too much to carry. She’s sitting at the edge of the couch like it hurts to be still, like she might fall apart if I so much as look at her the wrong way. Her fingers twist over each other, and she can’t meet my eyes.
I lean against the wall, arms crossed, jaw tight. I can already feel my throat closing up with irritation, exhaustion, fucking helplessness.
“I already told you. I’m not doing it. I’m not playing pretend. I’m not throwing Blaze away just because Dad can’t deal with the idea of me being with a fucking man.”
Her head snaps up. “Then what? You’re going to ruin everything? All the years you put into the company? You’re going to give him what he wants? Just hand everything to William on a gold platter?”
I scoff, dragging a hand down my face. “You think I care about the company more than I care about Blaze? Jesus, Mom.”
“I think you should care about surviving,” she bites out. “Your father isn’t bluffing, Carlo. You know what he’s capable of. You know what he’s done to people for less. Don’t make yourself the next one.”
I look away. I can’t stand the way her voice trembles. The way her eyes are glassy with unshed tears. It makes me feel like shit. And I already feel like shit. Every day since this thing started has been one long, slow burn inside my chest.
“He’s bluffing,” I mutter, but I don’t even believe it.
“No, he’s not.” Her voice is flat now, a warning. “He’s not bluffing, Carlo. He’s testing you. And if you fail this test, he’s going to erase you like you were never even his son.”
I breathe out through my nose, pacing a few steps just to get the fuck away from her stare. “So what? You want me to crawl back to him? Beg? Marry Rebecca? Sleep in separate rooms and play the happy fucking heir?”
“I want you to stay alive,” she says. “I want you to keep what you built. What you deserve. Don’t throw it all away for something that was never going to work.”
“Don’t say that,” I snap. Louder than I mean to. The silence after makes my ears ring. She flinches a little. That kills me more than anything else.
“Don’t talk about Blaze like that,” I add, voice lower now, shaking. “Don’t talk like that.”
She takes a slow breath, her hands curling into fists against her knees. “Carlo… you love him. I get it. But love doesn’t fix everything. Not when you’re up against someone like your father. Not in this world. I’ve been through this. I lived it before you did. And I survived because I knew when to shut up and fall in line.”
I stare at her. And I realize—maybe for the first time—that she never got to be free either. She’s been trapped in that fucking house, with that man, for decades. Nodding. Smiling. Pretending. I wonder what dreams she gave up for that silence.
“I’m not like you,” I say. My voice comes out quieter than I expect.
“I know,” she replies. “That’s why I’m scared.”
The room goes still again. I feel it in my bones. That dread. That pressure like something’s closing in, taking away all the air.
“I can’t leave him,” I say. “I can’t just cut him off.”
“You have to,” she whispers. “For your own good.”
“I already told him I’d marry Rebecca,” I say. “Isn’t that enough?”
“Not to your father. He wants full obedience. He wants complete control.”
I sigh and shake my head, taking a few steps away again. “Then I guess we’re fucked.”
I’m halfway to the door when she says it. The words that stop me cold.
“If you don’t do this… I’ll kill myself.”
I freeze. My fingers twitch. The floor feels like it tilts under me.
“What?”
She’s looking at me, dead in the eyes. There’s no hysteria. No drama. Just a terrifying kind of stillness. Like she’s already decided. Like she’s already gone somewhere I can’t reach.
“Don’t say shit like that.”
“I mean it. I’ve kept quiet my whole life. I’ve lived with that man and watched him tear everyone down one by one. I kept my mouth shut, your father and I love you, naturally he won’t do anything to hurt you, but this is unbearable for him, you have to understand your father too. But your father has his way to control anything beyond his grip. And if you let him do it, if you let him destroy everything, I’ll end it. I swear to God, Carlo.”
She’s crying now, tears rolling down her cheeks without sound. I hate this. I fucking hate this.
“You can’t do that to me Mum,” I say, but it’s hollow.
She shakes her head. “You know, I don’t say what I can’t do.”
And I do. That’s the worst part. My mom doesn’t talk unless she means every fucking word.
I turn away from her, because if I keep looking, I’ll lose it. My chest is tight, too tight, like it’s caving in. I’m trying to breathe but it just hurts.
“Don’t do anything stupid, Mom,” I say without looking at her. My voice is wrecked. “Please.”
I leave.
I get in the car, slam the door shut, grip the wheel so hard my knuckles go white. My heart’s hammering. I’m shaking. My entire body feels like it’s about to explode.
“FUCK!” I scream.
One raw, ugly scream that echoes inside the car like a fucking bomb.
I slam my fist into the steering wheel, over and over. The horn goes off once. I don’t care.
I fucking hate him. I hate him for making me choose. I hate myself for hesitating. I hate that I can’t even protect the one person I actually give a shit about.
Tears blur my vision, but I swipe at them angrily. No. I don’t cry. Not here. Not now.
But I’m breaking.
I’m fucking breaking.