Chapter 69 Chapter 69

Chapter 69 Chapter 69


Carter

I stepped away from Mila just in time to see Tessa walk in. Her eyes flicked between me and her mother, and I could tell she was pretending everything was fine. But I knew better; Tessa was putting on a brave face. She was more than hurt in seeing me kiss her mother.

"Hey, Tessa," I said, trying to sound casual.

She didn't respond. Instead, she grabbed some food from the counter and walked past me, her shoulders tense. I felt a knot form in my stomach. I hadn't meant for any of this to happen. It was supposed to be a simple evening, but everything felt off now. I was not expecting to kiss Mila, but I had to, and the fact that Mila initiated it made me not refuse it and went along kissing her. I felt guilty and gnawed at my deepest heart as I watched Tessa take her food without replying to my greeting and go to her room with it, putting on that strong face when I knew that she was hurting deep down in her heart. I had to force myself away from Mila seeing that Tessa walked in and caught me in the act 

I turned back to Mila, who looked a bit confused. "I'm really tired; everything has been happening fast, and I am so worked up," I told her. "I think I'm going to head to bed."

"Okay," she said, smiling slightly, but there was a flicker of disappointment in her eyes.

"Mila, you have to understand that I am so tired and can't make out with you; I need to rest my aching body; I would have loved to continue this with you," I flashed her a smile.

She chuckled and looked away shyly. "I know, I know you are tired, and that is why I am not complaining; you should go rest. I will finish up with cleaning and wiping off the plates before going to bed." She touched my arm reassuringly.

I made my excuse quickly, wanting to get away before I got caught up in guilt over what I did.

I nodded, grabbed the glass of juice, and finished the content before rushing off to my room. I diverted and went for Mila's room, and as expected, she locked the door.

I rushed to Tessa's room, my heart pounding against it chest.

As I knocked softly, I heard a shuffling sound. 

"Go away, just away, and leave me alone; I want to be left alone, please," she called out, her voice muffled.

"Tessa, please. It's me," I said gently. "Can we talk? We must discuss it, Tessa."

She opened the door just a crack, enough for me to see her face. Her expression was a mix of hurt and anger. "What do you want? Seriously, just a few minutes, I saw you with my mom; you have jilted her to come down here?" she shot me more of like a disgusting look that sent shivers down my spine.

"I just wanted to explain— that is all, I wanted us to talk about what you saw happened in the kitchen."

"I don't want to hear it!" she snapped. "You shouldn't have done that but well you did." Her tone dripped with sadness.

"I know, I know. I didn't plan for it to happen," I said quickly, trying to find the right words.

" You didn't plan for it? Ohh! Come on, cut the crap off.  Don't tell me you don't have an idea of how it happened, you could have avoided it, you know or maybe found a refuse it or anything not to kiss her but you did and now you want me to believe that my mother just kissed you out of the blue without giving you a sign."

"It just... happened. Believe me, Tessa, it just happened; I didn't know how to stop her or refuse her at that stage; it would look somehow to me."

"Right. Because that makes it better, not refusing makes it better," she said bitterly, crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry, Tessa. I am. It was a mistake," I admitted, feeling the weight of my words. "But it doesn't change how I feel about you."

"Do you even care?" she asked, her voice softer but still edged with pain. "Or is it just easier for you to be with my mom as it is always easier for you to be with me anything you fucking want?"

"It's not like that," I said, my heart racing. "I care about both of you. But I care more about you, Tessa, and you know that. You know the relationship between me and your mom, it's complicated, and I didn't want to hurt you."

"Complicated?" she echoed, shaking her head. "It seems pretty simple to me. You chose to kiss her. That's not complicated."

"I didn't choose it," I insisted, desperation creeping into my voice. "I was caught off guard. I never wanted to put you in this position. She just kissed me out of the blue, and you caught me in the act; how do you expect me to refuse her? Come on."

Tessa sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "You think I want to hear excuses? You don't get to just walk away from this. Every time, it is always excused, and I am becoming sick and tired of it, of you always breaking my heart."

"I'm not trying to walk away," I replied, taking a step closer. "I'm here, right now. Just tell me what you need from me."

"Leave," she said flatly. "I need you to leave me alone, yes, it is what I need, I need you to leave me the hell alone in my room to myself and my thoughts about all of this.."

"Tessa, please," I pleaded, my heart aching. "I don't want to lose you."

She stared at me, and for a moment, I thought I could see the conflict in her eyes. But then she turned away. "You already have, just go and leave me alone, I beg of you."

I stood there for a moment, feeling the weight of her words. It felt like the ground had shifted beneath me, and I didn't know how to find my balance again. "I'll be in my room if you change your mind," I said quietly, backing away.

As I walked back to my room, my mind was racing. I felt like I had lost something important, something I couldn't get back. I collapsed onto my bed, staring at the ceiling.

What had I done? How could I have let this happen?