Cara's pov
Luca's gaze was heavy on mine, the magnetic weight of it reaching into my soul and pulling at it.
"You want me as don?" He rumbled into the crackling silence and right into my hammering heart.
"Yes." I whispered, every part of me meaning it. I was feeling awfully submissive and I wanted him to command my willing desire. I needed to be consumed by him. Only he could relieve me from the burdens of my anxiety. Only him.
Even when he's responsible for ninety percent of it.
Luca's other hand cupped my face and his thumb ran across my lips. "I want you to suck on it like you did last time."
I made zero hesitation and took the thumb in my mouth, loving as his nostrils flared, his eyes intent on me.
"If we're going to do this, you will obey my every command. You will not challenge me or refuse me."
I audibly swallowed, understanding the gravity of my request. If I wanted him to fuck me as the don of Cosa Nostra and not Luca Salvatore, I needed to treat him as that. I'd have to completely surrender to his authority, no questions asked.
Luca wanted no play pretend.
My pulse ran wild and I considered backing out for a second, my eyes dropping to the floor. Being at the mercy of a man wasn't something I was a fan of. My last experience had left me with years and years of unpacked trauma and emotional scars.
But with Luca, it would be different right? I knew he'd never hurt me physically but could I trust him not to hurt me emotionally?
I sawed on my bottom lip, suddenly feeling hesitant.
"Cara, look at me." Luca ordered in a voice so compelling, I obeyed immediately.
"Tell me what is on your mind."
I arched my neck to the soft strokes of his fingers on the back of it, shivers running through me. "I'm just… nervous."
Luca held me by my chin, his intense gaze boring into mine. "Why?"
"I don't know." I lied. I was fully aware why and it all stemmed for the shit that bastard Diego put me through.
A stubborn bitch like you only responds to force. It is your fault I'm doing this.
The memory made me shudder.
Luca crouched in front of me at once, his hands taking mine. "There's something you're not telling me, bambina." He said softly, his eyes searching for answers.
My smile was wobbly and my voice shaky. "No, it's fine."
"No, it's not. You've been distant. I've seen you staring off more than once. I've seen you look at me like there's something you wanted to say. Is it me?" His jaw ticked and his eyes clamped shut as if whatever he was going to say next would kill him. He opened them again. "Are you tired of me? Of us?"
I blinked at him in bewilderment, shocked that he'd come to that conclusion. "No… no, Luca. I- that's not it." I said with a shake of my head.
"Then what is it?"
What was it… I'm falling deeper for you each passing day while you feel nothing more than infatuation for me. I fear you aren't over Valentina. I am afraid you'd discover about my past and leave me like you should. I'm scared that you'd hate me and be disgusted by me.
No man will want a messed up bitch like you. Diego's cruel voice piped up at the back of my mind.
It was my turn to shut my eyes. When I opened them again, they met the worry in his.
My heart shattered. The crash, my logical side warned me about the crash but I had completely ignored it. I was responsible for my own fall.
Luca nudged my hands, still waiting for my answer. I inhaled slowly before giving him one. "I just feel overwhelmed by everything that has happened, the men after me and all." I lied again.
He regarded me and I could tell he knew I was lying. His Adam's apple bobbed and his hands left mine.
I mourned their warmth.
"Why don't you speak to me, bambina?" Luca asked, his voice stretched with frustration. He got back up, a hand running into his hair. "Why do you keep things to yourself? You can trust me Cara."
I played with my hands in my lap, my gaze dropping once more. I could trust him, but it wasn't that easy to do. It took more than one trial to trust someone and with what I've been through, I'd need a thousand of them.
Things would be so much better if I had Luca's love to rely on. I might trust his protectiveness, I might trust his sense of duty but those were something he could easily give to another. To anyone. To the next woman after me.
I wanted his heart, his complete devotion like he had mine. I wanted to have that surety that there won't be anyone else but me like there won't be anyone else but him.
But I didn't have his heart so I had to protect mine even if I'd already given him a huge portion of it.
Luca's eyes were hardened. He was angry but for my benefit he refused to show it.
"Fine, if that's what you want." He said in a strained voice.
I nodded and whispered. "Thank you." Genuinely grateful he was letting me off the hook. If he decided to persuade me, I knew I would give in and that would mean I'd be totally at his feet, my heart in his possession. I'd be completely dependent on him, like a person with cocaine addiction.
However, his expression told me he didn't care for my thanks. He looked almost hurt that I insisted on holding back and it nearly made me break my resolve.
He drew closer to me again but made no move to touch me. "Do you still want me to fuck you or is that offer off the table as well?" When I hesitated, he started to pull away, a sigh leaving him.
I grabbed his hand to stop him. "I- I still want you to…" I trailed off unable to finish my sentence.
Luca was looking at me with a strange expression and then he turned away with a curse. "Fuck! Bambina."
I couldn't understand the reaction and was given no time to process it when he suddenly said, "I'll give you what you want but remember, we're going to be doing it my way. You're going to say yes to everything I want. You will be totally at my beck and call. And you're going to beg for every release I will give you."
Yeah he was angry alright.
His words should have triggered my fight or flight response. Should have me kicking past him and fleeing to safety. But they didn't and that was because it was him, the only man that's ever touched so close to my heart. The only man that had protected me since my father.
Also, if I was going to finally overcome the hold my foster brother had on me, if I was going to break through my trauma I needed Luca for it.
"Yes." I nodded in acquiescence.
I would let a man dominate me again and this time I would love it. It would be of my own accord.
I would be willing.
I let Luca lead me away from the sitting room and down the hallway to his bed. Once we closed the door behind us, he left me for the bed and I remain where I was, knowing fully well he wanted me to.
"Strip." He commanded and I hesitated for a second before loosening the straps of my halter top and pulling it over my head.
Eyes, darker than the night, heated my bare chest.
I worked at my boy short and a couple of seconds later, I had it and my thong joining my top on the floor.
Luca ate me up with his feverish gaze. He sat on the edge of the bed, his hand cupping his erection. He hadn't even started with me yet and he was already so hard. I was doing that to him. My pussy thrummed with heat.
"I want you to crawl to me."
I stiffened at the command, the shake of my head instinctive. Memories, multiple of them began to flood my head.
"You agreed, bambina." Luca's low growl brought me out of my head. His voice, it was firm but also warm. Commanding yet assuring.
The memories died a quick death.
I dropped to my knees and began a slow, sensual crawl to him, my skin coming alive at the uncontrolled need in his eyes. He watched intently as I moved to him with the grace of a feline, my hips swaying with each movement, my boobs doing the same. I bit on my lips, my eyes holding his gaze. His strokes on his hard on grew rougher, his chest was heaving, his posture was taut.
And it was then it hit me. There was power in submission. Here I was on my knees but I had the man more feral than he'd ever been with me.
It was enthralling.
I realized that if I wanted to have Luca Salvatore wrapped around my finger, I had to completely surrender to him first. Stroke his pride into dependency, make him crave for my surrender.
If this was my shot to make him fall in love with me then I'd gladly take it.
I got to him and sat on my haunches, waiting for his next order while giving him my most docile expression.
His gaze bored into me and the look he gave me spoke of his desire to devour me and I badly wanted him to.
"That," he started, his voice tight, "was even better than my fantasies."
I tried not to react outwardly even though my body singed with delight. Luca Salvatore had fantasized about me, I was smug with pleasure.
I leaned even closer, rising to my knees. "What other fantasy of yours do you want us to act out?" I purred, fluttering my lashes at him.
His hand left his rock hard c0ck and wrapped around my throat, the pressure light. I wanted him to make it tighter.
A dangerous gleam appeared in his grey eyes, a devious smile curving on his lips. His voice was just as dangerous when he spoke. "There are many of them but my special favorite is you, tied up in my bed as I deny you pleasure over and over before finally fucking you to oblivion."
It took all of me not to come right where I knelt on the floor.