Cara's pov
"One day you'll tell me the story behind this." Luca said in a thoughtful tone as his thumb brushed over the now healed scar on my wrists.
We were pressed against each other in my bed, resting or rather recovering from our hours and hours of vigorous sex.
Just like Luca had threatened, I was completely spent and couldn't move without feeling the soreness of my hips, thighs and between them. He had taken me in every part of my small apartment; on the kitchen counter, on the couch, in front of my vanity mirror –which was my favourite– in my cramped shower stall and finally on my bed where we now laid.
I watched as his eyes narrowed on the tiny, old scars that were so faint they were barely visible.
But Luca noticed them and the protective fire in his gaze warmed the blood in my veins.
I swallowed, pulling the wrist from his loose grasp. "One day." I said, even though I was certain that the day would never come. I wouldn't be able to live through the disgust or pity that was bound to show up if he ever learns of my past. I liked the way he looked at me now, with desire, like I was something he craved and I liked It just fine. I wasn't going to change things by letting him know of my past, it was one aspect of myself that I'd never give to him.
Never.
Luca regarded me with a deadpanned stare but I knew he was annoyed. He doesn't try to force an answer out of me but proceeded to kiss my shoulder instead, his hand running up to the back of my left thigh. "What about this one?"
I blinked up at him, confused. Only understanding the question when his pointer finger traced a crescent moon shape on my skin. "Oh that," I said as I recalled how I'd gotten it. "Just a silly souvenir of preteen rebellion."
I had his complete focus. "Tell me."
I sat up, propping my elbow on the bed and resting my chin on my knuckles. "So I like to refer to this day as: the rise of the phoenix." I said, enjoying the slow twitch on Luca's mouth.
"Oh yeah?" He sounded amused.
"Yes. I had gotten into a fight you see, with some mean boys in my neighbourhood. They were rude and nasty and I was used to ignoring their mean pranks and jokes. Until that day."
"You decided you had enough?"
"Ditto." I imitated the shooting of a gun with my fingers.
Luca laughed and although his eyes were lazy with amusement, they also shone with belief and admiration. And it did things to my frail heart.
"How many were they?"
"They were two, and I beat both of them." I said proudly, my hands touching where his hand laid over the scar. "This was my only causality, the boys had looked worse."
"I'm sure they did." Luca growled against my forehead in a kiss. "They're also lucky it happened when you were kids." He pulled back. "But it still doesn't stop me from wanting to find them and give them much bigger scars on the same spot. Hell, I might even cripple the whole limb."
I hit his half covered chest softly, chuckling but blushing at the vehement tone in the joke. "Let it go doberman, they were just stupid twelve year olds that didn't know any better."
It was really cute, the notion of him hurting anyone that hurt me.
Cute? You're just insane.
"If you say so." Luca said. "Let me know when next you have to settle a score. I'd take care of it."
My blush was crimson. "Banking on that." I said even though I had no intention of doing such a thing. Luca might be making jokes as he laid half covered in my sheets but I didn't for once forget who he was. My enemies were better off in the hands of the cops. I wouldn't even wish his wrath on the worst of them.
"Speaking about settling things." Luca drawled, sitting up to my level, the sheets falling off his broad chest. He pressed his lips to mine, kissing me in a way I could never grow tired of.
I was breathless when he pulled away to look at me, his eyes serious and heavy.
"We still have a couple of things to settle between us, bambina."
I blinked away the hazy film that was the effect of his kiss and tried to focus on what he had just said.
Things to settle between us… my body went rigid. He was talking about the talk.
Trepidation trickled down my spine like iced water. This is the moment I've been waiting for but now it was here, I didn't want to sit through it. I didn't think I could take it when he unblurred the lines. Crazy as it seemed, I'd rather have the lines blurred than Luca defining our relationship as strictly sex. A couple of weeks ago, I'd have been relieved if he did but I was no longer the same as I was then.
"We both know that what we have going on isn't just sex."
My throat tightened. "Do we?"
Luca regarded me with an unreadable expression. His eyes were trained on me unflinchingly, their depths dark and pensive.
I fought the urge to saw on my lips with my teeth as panic quickened my pulse. What the hell was going through his head?
He didn't respond to my dumb reply but instead carried on with the conversation.
The panic threatened to choke me.
"However, it's exclusive." He snapped out the three words.
"Never heard of fuck buddies who are exclusive before."
He winced. "Don't use that term."
"But that's what-"
"Cara shut up and let me finish." He glowered at me until I pressed my lips together.
"You cannot be with anyone else."
I forgot I was supposed to shut up. "What about you?"
Luca looked at me like he wanted to stuff something in my mouth. "I'll be faithful to you, always."
Oh.
Butterflies erupted in my stomach. His response, he didn't have to word it so poetically and solemnly.
I cleared my throat and put my focus back on the conversation. "Luca, we're step siblings. Your father is married to my mother. Siblings can't be in an exclusive sexual arrangement."
Luca's expression squeezed again. I guess he didn't like my new term for our relationship either. "We don't share genetics, nothing abominable." He ground out.
"Doesn't make it any less morally and socially unacceptable."
"Cara, stop thinking about what other people would think and focus on what we both want."
I bit the inside of my lips. What he was proposing was a far better option than marrying Cadain but where marriage with Cadain foretold gloom and unhappiness, Luca's proposal spoke of an unclear future, danger and heartbreak.
But I was never the type of girl to play it safe.
"If we must do this, I have a few terms." I said, trailing a finger down his naked chest.
Luca's eyes lit up with something suspiciously similar to hope. "Go on."
"First of all, we must be discreet. No one can ever find out about us."
"Cara-"
"Yes, I know you just told me not to care about what other people think but unfortunately, I can't and I'm not going to have everyone knowing I'm fucking my stepbrother." I've lived with judgement all my life, and I was used to it but that didn't mean I would intentionally give people something to gossip about. I was tired of being the villain or victim in people's conversations.
Luca's stare was long and hard, his jaw clenched tight. He might go walking around with the cockiness and confidence of hundred men regardless of what and what he did but that was him, not me.
"Luca?" I pressed.
His eyes rolled hard. "Fine."
My shoulders slumped in visible relief, that was one down, onto the next.
"Secondly…" I trailed off, gulping down saliva as I prepared myself. Gosh I needed a glass of water. "Secondly, I want you to cut down on the possessiveness."
Dead silence.
"Kevin, Cadain… what I'm trying to say is that you can't keep interfering with my conversations with other men."
His grey eyes had turned black and I prattled on, my heart pitter-pattering and my nerves rioting. "You need to allow me my own privacy, proprietary and liberty-"
"No man is interacting with you in any way, bambina. Except he wants to lose his life." Was Luca's deathly growl.
I shut my eyes for patience and maybe I'd add a prayer for the man to be reasonable. "Luca, no."
"Very much yes."
I opened my eyes to glare at him. "I won't let you ruin friendships for me."
His jaw was set, his eyes unyielding. It felt like I was talking to a brick wall.
I sighed, deciding to compromise. "Okay, let's do it this way. I can keep my male acquaintances as long as I give them a considerable amount of physical space?"
I could see his mind working. I held my breath as he considered the idea for far too long.
The answer I got was a curt nod.
Phew.
Two down.
The next one was even more difficult than asking him not to be a neanderthal with a flair for trigger happiness. It was difficult because there was no way I could go around it without sounding like an insecure bitch.
I cleared my throat. "So, I- uh… I'd love it if we don't try to change each other or mold each other into… well into what we consider our ideal type."
Confusion cut across Luca's face, his lip turned up in irritation. "What the fuck do you mean?"
This wasn't going to be easy but I had best bitch up and spit it out. "I don't want you grooming me into some mafia princess like your ex… or exes."
I swear he was going to drill a hole into my head with that smoldering look of his. I could no longer bear to keep eye contact.
"I'm not and I'll never be." I squeaked out, finishing weakly. I waited for him to snap at me for ever thinking he would do that, I waited for him to reassure me, to snort and call me silly…
Or maybe what I was really waiting for was his rebuttal, his disapproval as he explained in clear, concise words why his women should be perfect and flawless and likable and collected and-
"Why would you ever think something like that?"
My head snapped up to his gaze and the sight of pure indignation sent heat seeping beneath my skin and put a hitch to my breath.
He leaned in and gripped my chin. "I'm not going to groom you into anything. I like your regularly infuriating self just the way it is, do you understand?"
I tried to nod but his strong hand held me immobile so I squeaked out instead. "Yes."
"Good." He released me.
Well that went well.
"Now for my sexual preferences." I said, ignoring the dark amusement settling in his eyes.
"I um…" A blush crept into my cheeks. 'I'm basically open to anything except degradation and sadistic shit involving a lot of pain. I might enjoy choking and a little spanking but that's where it ends."
He agreed with a nod.
I clasped my hands together. "Okay then. What are your own terms?"
He pulled me into him, cupping my ass. "I'm fine with whatever you're fine with." He whispered against my lips before capturing them in a soul scorching kiss.
Gawd, I love his kisses.
I was heavily aroused but was too sore to take him so we were content to kiss instead and we did for minutes after minutes, along with some heavy petting.
Luca had to leave later on but he promised to be back as he kissed me one last time. I had walked him to his car, waving like a jolly monkey until the car disappeared out of sight. It was then I noticed Sergio and the others, and they had all witnessed I and Luca's interaction. Lanky had a smirk on his mouth while Sergio was doing a very poor job of acting like he'd seen nothing.
Shame and embarrassment washed over me and I ran back up to my apartment like a fugitive.
Doing this clandestine thing was going to be some huge, challenging work.