Chapter 25 The First Real Kiss

Chapter 25 The First Real Kiss


The courtyard feels too still, like even the night itself is holding its breath. The stone path glows faintly under the lamplight, the shadows stretched long, dark, unforgiving. And here I am, standing too close to the one person I swore I would never let touch me.

“You want to know who I am?” I whisper, my voice thinner than I want it to be. “Why does it matter so much?”

Jace studies me, his jaw working like he’s chewing on words too sharp to say aloud. “Because you’re the only one I can’t figure out. Everyone else here? They’re predictable. I know what they want, what they’ll do. But you…” His voice drops, rough, low. “You’re chaos. And I can’t stop wanting to understand it.”

My chest tightens. Chaos. If only he knew.

I laugh under my breath, soft and brittle. “You don’t want to understand me. You want to dissect me, pick me apart until I’m nothing. That’s what people like you do.”

“People like me?” he echoes, his eyes sparking.

“Rich boys with perfect smiles and skeletons buried under their marble floors.”

The insult should make him lash out, but instead he steps closer. “Maybe. But you keep digging around my skeletons, don’t you?”

My throat goes dry. He’s too close now, his presence searing. The air feels electric, charged with something I don’t want to admit I feel. My pulse hammers as he tilts his head, searching my face like every tiny twitch of muscle might be the answer he’s been hunting.

“Why do you hate me so much?” he asks suddenly.

Because you destroyed my family. Because Noah is gone. Because every time I see your face, I see his ghost. The answers claw at my throat, desperate to spill out. But I bite them back, swallow hard.

Instead, I whisper, “Why do you care if I do?”

His lips twitch, not quite a smile, not quite a snarl. “Because I can’t hate you back. God knows I’ve tried.”

The world tilts. His words sink straight into the part of me I’ve been trying to armor. I don’t move when he lifts a hand, fingers brushing my jaw, tentative but firm enough to make me shiver. The rough calluses scrape lightly against my skin, and the warmth of his touch makes my pulse stumble.

“This is insane,” I breathe.

“Yeah,” he murmurs. His thumb traces along my cheekbone. “So stop me.”

I should. Every cell in my body screams at me to push him away, to remind myself why I’m here. But when his face dips closer, the fight drains out of me. My body leans in before my mind catches up.

And then his lips crash against mine.

It’s not soft. Not careful. It’s raw, hungry, the kind of kiss that rips through all the walls we’ve built. His hand cups my face, angling me closer, deeper, as though he wants to devour every lie I’ve told. The other arm snakes around my waist, pulling me into him, and I let it. I let him.

A sound escapes me, muffled against his mouth, half protest, half surrender. My hands fist in his shirt, pulling him closer when I should be shoving him away. He tastes like adrenaline and defiance, like everything I shouldn’t want.

His lips move against mine with a desperation that borders on violent, and for a second, I forget why I ever hated him. For a second, there’s no Noah, no revenge, no secrets. Just fire in my veins and the boy I swore was my enemy kissing me like I’m the only thing keeping him alive.

He groans into my mouth, the sound low and rough, and I nearly break. My body aches with want, my chest tight with the terrifying realization that I’m not faking this. I’m not pretending.

And that’s when it hits me.

This can’t happen.

I rip myself away, gasping like I’ve surfaced from deep water. My lips are swollen, my heart slamming against my ribs. My whole body trembles, equal parts heat and horror.

Jace stares at me, eyes wild, chest heaving. His hair falls into his face, and for once, he looks undone.

“This was—” I choke on the word, shaking my head. “This was a mistake.”

His eyes flash, sharp and wounded all at once. “Don’t.” His voice is hoarse, almost broken. “Don’t tell me you didn’t feel that.”

I wrap my arms around myself, like I can hold my crumbling walls together. “It doesn’t matter what I felt. It doesn’t change who you are.”

Something in him snaps. His face twists with something raw, ugly. “You think I don’t know who I am? You think I don’t wake up every day choking on the things I’ve done? You’re not the only one with ghosts, Ava.”

The sound of my real name on his lips slices me open.

“Stop calling me that,” I whisper, but it’s weak, shaky, useless.

His jaw tightens. “I will when you stop pretending you’re someone else.”

The silence between us is brutal, filled with everything we just destroyed and everything we can’t take back. My lips still burn, my heart still races, but my mind screams at me to run.

So I do.

I spin and stumble down the path, the night air biting at my cheeks. My body still hums from the kiss, but guilt claws at me, louder, heavier. Noah’s face flashes in my mind, the memory of his laugh, his promises, and the way I swore I’d avenge him. How could I betray him like this?

Behind me, I hear Jace’s voice, quiet but heavy enough to carry. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but you can’t lie to me.”

I don’t look back. I can’t.

I force my legs to move faster, every step tearing me further from the heat of his touch but never far enough. My lips still tingle, my chest still aches, and deep down I know I’ve crossed a line I can’t uncross.

Because that kiss wasn’t just a mistake. It was proof.

Proof that the line between love and hate isn’t just thin—it’s gone.

And I don’t know which one will destroy me first.