I heard a tap on my room door that was wide open, when I looked up it was Vicky.
“Hey.” I said sitting up. “Sorry I dosed off.” I said, robbing my palms on my eyes.
“You don't have to apologize to me Kimberly Brown.” She said walking into the room.
Yeah, Kimberly Brown that’s me, I can still remember the last time I was addressed by that name, it feels like it was only yesterday.
“Okay, if you say so Vicky.” I replied.
“Are you okay? Cause you don't look too good to me.” Vicky asked as she sat on my bed, peering at me with those inquisitive eyes, she reminds me of my mum, God bless her soul, I thought.
“Yeah, I don't feel good.” I said, lying back on the bed. “What about Alex-Sandra?” I asked, ignoring her facial expression.
“They are working on something in their room, you don't worry about them, worry about yourself, girlfriend.” She said, still looking at me with those concerned peering eyes.
“What!” I asked, knowing what the look in her eyes meant.
“How long do you plan on living like this?” she asked almost immediately.
“I don't know what you want from me, we've been through this before Vicky, I’m fine this way, I have two lovely kids and a business of my own, even if it's small, what more can I ask for.” I said sitting up again on my bed.
“Kim, don't tell me you are okay like this, I mean look at yourself, you can't spend your life like this, you are too young to live like this.” Vicky said, still giving me that concerned look.
“This is not what I wanted remember, I wanted to be a chef, not just a chef but a famous chef, I also wanted a beautiful family of my own but life choose to give me this, what do you want me to do? It's not like I wanted to live like this.” I snapped.
“You where there when it all happened, I even tried to get my life together after what happened to me, but no, I had to get pregnant from that one ugly incident, I even tried to get rid of the pregnancy, ‘Oh no, you can't do that because it might kill you’ the doctor had said, and as if that wasn't enough, my mum had to die, I guess her heart must have broken from seeing her only daughter that way.” I said again, my heart swelling from the pain it had felt before.
“I know all you've been through, I was there with you, and I know it's never been easy but I want you to give life another chance, give yourself a chance to live a proper and happier life, at least that's what your mum would've wanted.”Vicky said, as she reached out to hold my hand.
“How am I supposed to do that Vicky, how?” I asked looking at her, my heart tearing up, cause it's easier said than done.
“Go on dates, get a partner you know, catch some fun, get laid girlfriend, don't worry about the kids I will watch them for you.” She said.
“I mean, you have never given yourself the chance to have a proper fun with a man, a real man.” She added, frowning her face at me.
“I would have loved to do that, but I can't and besides I don't think I would feel that way for any man, you see, I won't even have time for that, and you, what time do you have to look after my kids, you should pay more attention to Jimmy, that reminds me how is he?” I said, trying to change the topic.
“Jimmy is fine, and we spend enough time with each other already.” Vicky said, her face lightning up.
“hmm, look at you, you are glowing girl.” I said, feeling excited for her.
“Yeah right, now back to you, when do you plan on contacting the father of your kids?” Vicky asked, changing the topic again, her face getting serious again.
“Seriously? After what he had done to me.” I snapped, getting angry that she would bring that up, when she witnessed how he ruined my life.
“Leave him out of this, I don't plan on contacting him, my kids are mine alone.” I said, as I furrowed by brows at her, angry that she would even suggest such a thing.
“How can I leave him out of this, you are bearing the consequence of his action, why the man is out there having the time of his life.” Vicky snapped back at me, I can hear the pain in her voice.
“You can't leave him out, what will you do when your kids start asking you questions about their dad, they would someday.” Vicky said glaring at me.
“I don't want to waste my time thinking of that yet.” I replied rolling my eyes at her, even though I know that she is right.
“I think you should contact him Kim, do it for your kids, at least they would be better taken care of, and it's going to help you concentrate more on your life.” She said.
“I and my kids are better off on our own.” I snapped again.
“I'm not complaining, am I?” I asked, seeing the look on her face.
“I'm not saying that you are complaining, the guy is loaded and all am saying is that, your kids would live a better life than what you are giving them, no offence, it's not your fault, but your kids, they deserve better, he should also share in the responsibility of raising them.” Vicky said.
She is right though, their dad is really loaded, but I cannot bring myself to face him again, not after he ruined my life, I bet he would be having the best times of his life.
“We don't need him, we are fine by ourselves, don't worry about my kids, and they don't need to know their dad exits.” I said, leaning back on my bed.
“He may have a life of his own don't you think? How many years has gone by now, do you think he is still going to remain single?” I asked folding my arms under by breasts.
“He is probably married and has a family of his own now, he also doesn't know Alex-Sandra exits, so please lets drop this and don't let the kids hear you okay, they don't need to know of their dad, cause he doesn't exist.” I said as a matter of fact to Vicky.
“Stop being stubborn.” Vicky said pleadingly, stretching forth her hand to touch my folded arms.
“Can we drop this please?” I asked pleadingly, because I'm getting tired of it already.
“Okay.” She said rolling her eyes at me, as she lifted her both hands up in defeat, she knew that talking me into something like this is going to be difficult, and I also know that she would never give up until she had her way, but this matter has been decided by me long ago when I went ahead with having my babies.
“Anyways, can I go home with your kids so that you can relax a little, cause you don't look good girl, you need a break.” Vicky said standing up from my bed.
“Oh please, that is a brilliant idea.” I said, heaving a sigh of relief.
“Oh yeah.” Vicky said nodding her head. “You really need to think about what I just told you, because you'll need it.” She said again.
“Shut up, let me have some proper sleep, and please close the door behind you.” I said to her covering my face with a pillow.
“I love you too.” Vicky said, and I heard her blowing a kiss to me before leaving my room.
I threw the pillow off my face and let out a sigh of relief immediately I heard the door close.
Few minutes later, I heard the kids jiggling on their way out, and I knew Vicky must have promised to take them to one of their favorite places.
One thing I am thankful for in my life is to be blessed with a friend like Vicky, sometimes I wonder what I would have done without her, she is like a guardian angel sent to watch over me.
I still cannot forget how I got here, the misfortune of my life had started that day on the stage four years ago, and sometimes I imagined whether my life would have been different if I hadn't been in that contest.