Chapter 20 Chapter 20

Chapter 20 Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY

Dimitri's POV 

I did not know how many days had passed.

Time stopped meaning anything.

I pulled against the ropes again. My wrists were raw and bleeding. The blood had dried and crusted around the rope. But I did not care about the pain anymore.

"LET ME OUT!" I screamed into the empty room. "MIKHAIL! LET ME OUT!"

There was no answer.

I let my head fall back against the pillow. My throat was raw from screaming, my voice was hoarse and cracked.

Foods sat on the floor near my bed, untouched. From yesterday, and since two days. 

Mikhail kept sending different guards to feed me.

The first one tried to force food into my mouth, but I had bit his hand very hard. His bone cracked and blood sipped out. He ran out screaming.

The second one tried to be gentle, begging me to eat something. I had headbutted him when he got close enough. His nose broke with a satisfying crunch.

After that, they just left the food near the door. No one came close anymore.

Sometimes I heard voices through the walls, through the door as they walked past.

"He is going mad," one guard whispered.

"The Pakhan has lost his mind," another agreed.

"Mikhail should put him out of his misery," a third said. "It's better to die than live like that."

I laughed when I heard that.

Maybe they were right. Maybe I was going mad.

Because I could even see things now and hear things that were not there.

I saw Irina in the corner of the room sometimes. Her amber eyes were sad, her hands reached out to me.

"Dimitri," she would whisper. "Help me. Please help me."

"I am trying!" I would scream back. "I am trying! I cannot get out! They will not let me out!"

But she would just fade away like a smoke.

Other times I saw Alexei standing at the foot of my bed, smiling that cold smile.

"She is mine now," he would say. "She moans my name. She has forgotten all about you."

"LIAR!" I would roar and pull against the ropes until my wrists bled more. "SHE LOVES ME! NOT YOU!"

But he would just laugh. That mocking laugh that sounded so much like my own.

Then he would disappear too.

Sometimes I heard Irina crying and begging. "Please, Dimitri. Where are you? Why did you leave me?"

"I DID NOT LEAVE YOU!" I screamed at the empty room. "THEY TOOK YOU! THEY LOCKED ME UP! I DID NOT LEAVE YOU!"

But the crying continued. On and on until I thought I would go insane from it.

Maybe I already had.

My face was pale. I could see my reflection in the metal tray they left food on. I look like a corpse.

My beard had grown long. I looked more like a wild animal. A madman.

Maybe that was what I had become.

The cuts on my ankles and wrists had scabbed over. Then broken open again when I pulled against the ropes. Then scabbed again.

The cycle repeated endlessly.

Pain was the only thing that felt real to me now.

"Irina," I whispered to the empty room. "Where are you? Are you alive? Are you thinking of me?"

The walls did not answer.

They never did.

I closed my eyes, and tried to picture her face clearly but even that was fading now.

How long had it been? Days? Weeks?

I did not know.

"Please," I whispered. To anyone who would listen. "Please let me out. Please let me find her. I will do anything. I would give anything. Just let me find her."

But no one answered prayers in the dark.

The door opened suddenly.

I did not even lift my head. It was probably just another guard leaving more food I would not eat.

"Dimitri."

That voice. I knew that voice.

Mikhail.

I opened my eyes slowly. He stood in the doorway, looking at me. His face was shocked and horrified.

"My God," he whispered. "What have you done to yourself?"

"What have I done?" I laughed hysterically. "What have you done? You locked me here, tied me up like an animal. This is YOUR doing!"

Mikhail walked closer. Slowly and carefully like he was approaching something dangerous.

"You have not eaten," he said. He looked at the untouched food that was two days worth.

"I am not hungry."

"You will die if you do not eat."

"Good," I said. "Let me die then. What does it matter? She is gone. Everything is gone. Let me die."

"No," Mikhail said firmly. "I will not let you die. Your mother would never forgive me."

"My mother is DEAD!" I screamed. "She has been dead for years! Stop using her as an excuse!"

Mikhail said nothing. He just looked at me with those sad, and tired eyes.

Then he moved and started untying one of my hands.

I stared. "What are you doing?"

"I am going to feed you," he said. "And clean you. And shave that beard. You look like a wild beast."

"I do not want…"

"I do not care what you want," Mikhail interrupted. "You are going to eat. You are going to let me clean you. And you are going to stay alive. Even if I have to force you."

He finished untying one hand, then the other, then my ankles.

I was free.

For one moment, I thought about attacking him. I thought about wrapping my hands around his throat and squeezing until…

But my body would not move. I was too weak, too tired and too broken. I couldn't even lift my hands.

Mikhail helped me sit up. My head spun, everything tilted.

"Easy," he said. "You have been lying down too long. Your body needs time to adjust."

He brought new food. 

Warm soup, bread and water.

He lifted the spoon to my mouth and I turned my head away. "I said I am not hungry."

"And I said I do not care." He grabbed my jaw and forced my head to face him. "Open your mouth."

I glared at him. But I was too weak to fight.

I opened my mouth. He fed me the soup, spoonful by spoonful.

It tasted like nothing, but my body needed it.

When I finished eating, he brought warm water, and a cloth. He washed my face, my arms and my chest.

The water turned red from my blood.

Then he brought scissors and a razor.

"Hold still," he said.

He cut my beard and shaved what was left. His hands were steady and careful.

When he finished, I looked almost human again.

"There," he said. "Better."

I said nothing. I just stared at the wall.

"Dimitri," Mikhail said softly. "I am sorry. I am sorry for all of this. But I had no choice. You were going to destroy yourself. Destroy everything."

"I do not care about everything," I said. My voice was flat and empty. "I only care about her."

"I know."

"Then let me go," I said. "Let me find her."

"I cannot," Mikhail said. "Not yet. Not until…"

The door burst open suddenly.

One of Mikhail's guards stood there. His face was flushed, and he looked excited. He was breathing hard like he had been running.

"Sir!" he said urgently. "Sir,

we found her!"

Time immediately stopped.

I stared at the guard. Did I hear that right? Or was this another hallucination?

"What did you say?" Mikhail asked slowly.

"Irina!" the guard said. "We found Irina! Our signal tracking equipment picked up an unusual activity pointing somewhere beyond the Black Sea!"

I

could not breathe.

They found her?