Chapter 135 Chapter 135
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Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Five
Irina
I watched Dimitri sleep. He looked exhausted.
The weight of everything was crushing him.
His brother's betrayal.
His impossible choice.
I understood why he felt guilty.
But I also knew he had made the right choice.
Any parent would save their child. It was instinct.
It was love.
But Alexei did not see it that way. He saw it as proof that Dimitri had chosen me over him. And in a way, he was right.
Dimitri had chosen our family. Over his past with Alexei.
I got up quietly and checked on Nikolai.
He was sleeping peacefully. Unaware of the chaos around him. Unaware that his uncle had almost watched his father die.
I kissed his forehead gently.
"I am sorry," I whispered. "I am sorry that loving me caused so much pain."
"It is not your fault."
I turned.
Alexei was standing in the doorway.
"I did not hear you come in," I said.
"I am good at being quiet," Alexei replied.
He walked over and looked at Nikolai.
"He looks like me," he said.
"Yes," I agreed. "He has your eyes."
"And my stubbornness," Alexei added with a small smile.
We stood in silence for a moment.
"I do not hate you," Alexei said suddenly.
"What?" I asked, surprised.
"I do not hate you," he repeated. "I thought I did. I wanted to. But I do not."
"Then why..." I started.
"Because hating you was easier than accepting the truth," Alexei interrupted.
"What truth?" I asked.
"That even after everything I have done, Dimitri still loves me and I hate that he had to be the good guy."
Alexei said quietly.
The words hung in the air.
I had hated him too. For taking away my innocence. But who was I to keep hating him when Dmitri had moved on.
"But you are his brother," I said. "His past. You are important too."
"Am I?" Alexei asked. "Because it does not feel that way."
I did not know what to say.
"When we were children," Alexei continued, "Dimitri and I were inseparable. We did everything together. We protected each other."
"Lucia told me," I said.
"Did she tell you that I used to take beatings for him?" Alexei asked. "That when our father was drunk and angry, I would step in front of Dimitri?"
"No," I whispered.
"I was the older brother," Alexei said. "By two minutes. But it was enough. It was my job to protect him."
He looked at me with tears in his eyes.
"And then you came in as his personal maid," he said. "He fell in love with you and suddenly, I was not needed anymore. He had you to protect him. To love him. To be his family."
"Alexei..."
"I became obsolete," he finished. "A relic of the past. Someone to be managed instead of loved. All because of a one night mistake."
"That mistake resulted into Nikolai. But that's not how Dimitri sees you, anymore," I protested.
"Is it not?" Alexei asked. "If Nikolai isn’t his son, why did he choose Nikolai over me today?"
"Because Nikolai is a baby," I said desperately. "Would you choose yourself over your own son?"
"But I am his brother," Alexei said, angrily. "I took beatings for him. I stood by him through everything. And when it came down to it, he let me fall."
He was still selfish.
My anger was rising, but I kept my cool. For Dmitri. For Nikolai.
"You did not really fall," I reminded him. "It was a trick."
"But he did not know that," Alexei replied. "At that moment, he thought I was going to die. And he chose Nikolai anyway."
I could not argue with that.
Because it was true.
"I am sorry," I said. "I am sorry that loving me hurt you. I never wanted that."
"I know," Alexei said. "That is why I cannot hate you. Because you are not the villain in this story. You are just a woman who fell in love."
"And you are a man who lost his brother," I said.
"Yes," Alexei agreed. "That is exactly what I am."
He turned to leave.
"Wait," I said.
He stopped.
"What if..." I started. "What if you did not have to lose him?"
"What do you mean?" Alexei asked.
"What if we found a way for all of us to be family?" I suggested. "Not just Dimitri and me. But you too. All of us together."
"That is a nice fantasy," Alexei said bitterly. "But it is not realistic."
"Why not?" I challenged.
"Because there is only so much of Dimitri to go around," Alexei replied. "And he has already chosen where to spend it."
"Love is not finite," I said. "Dimitri can love both of us."
"Can he?" Alexei asked. "Because from where I am standing, it feels like a competition. And I am losing."
"Then stop competing," I said.
Alexei looked at me in surprise.
"What?" he asked.
"Stop competing," I repeated. "Stop measuring Dimitri's love. Stop keeping score. Just be his brother."
"And watch him choose you over and over again?" Alexei asked.
"No," I said. "Partner with me. Help me love him. Help me take care of this family. Be Nikolai's father. Be my friend."
Alexei laughed bitterly.
"You want us to be friends?" he asked incredulously.
"I want us to stop being enemies," I clarified. "I want us to find a way to coexist. For Dimitri's sake. For Nikolai's sake."
"And for your sake?" Alexei asked.
"Yes," I admitted. "Because I love Dimitri. And he loves you. And watching the two of you tear each other apart is killing me."
Alexei was quiet
for a long time.
"I will think about it," he said finally.
"That is all I ask," I replied.
He looked at Nikolai one more time.
"Though he's my son. He kind of looks like Dimitri in a way." He said softly.
"He has your nose though," I said.
Alexei touched his own nose and smiled slightly.
"The Volkov nose," he said. "Poor kid."
I laughed quietly.
"Thank you," I said.