Chapter 37

“Are we there yet?”Craig mumbled.

Andy took his eyes off the road for a second and glanced to his left.Luke was asleep next to him,and it looked like Craig had just woken up.

“Another hour,give or take.”

Returning his concentration to the motorway,now almost empty of evening traffic,Andy watchedthe never-ending chain of orange-coloured street lamps flash by.The only sound,apart from the constant hum of road noise,was the radio playing softly in the background.It was his van and his choice of station,much to Craig’s disgust.Andy realised they were playing something slow by Ella Fitzgerald,one of his dad’s favourite singers.

When the song finished,he let out a contented sigh and momentarily tightened his left arm,which was around Luke’s shoulders.

“Those old songs,”Luke yawned.“They say it best,don’t they?”

“Thought you were asleep.”Andy was a little uncomfortable at being caught.

“No,was just resting my eyes.”

The radio announcer said the song was by Cole Porter.

“He was gay,you know,”Craig said.

“How’d you know that?”Andy asked,irritated that Craig had intruded into one of their moments.

“Just do.”

“I thought you were listening to your iPod?”Luke asked.

“Battery’s flat.”

Luke snuggled in closer to Andy and they continued their journey home.

****

Two days earlier,they’d just got back from Sam and Donnie’s when Craig asked,“Is there anyof that French bread left?”

“You’re never hungry again!”Andy said,following him into the kitchen.

“We ate hours ago.”

Andy looked at his watch.“Only about two.”

“I can’t go to bed on an empty stomach;I’d just lie awake all night,specially as it’s a new bed and—”

Andy knew where his nephew was going and was determined to head him off.“All right.I’ll make you something,which means as soon as your head hits the pillow,you will fall fast asleep.”

“Yes,Uncle Andy,”Craig grinned.

They decided to watch television;Craig delighted in playing with Luke’s cable system.

Andy kept trying to convince himself that everything was all right.He was not nervous.No way.He had been waiting weeks for Luke to heal sufficiently so he could make love to the man.

Not for a second did he think about all the other men who had touched his boyfriend,who’d had sex with him,and had brought him pleasure.No,Andy was not thinking about how much of an amateur he would seem to a man of Luke’s experience.Yeah,right.And your pigs have suddenly sprouted wings,his internal voice told him.

“I’ll just go and take a shower,”Luke said during a commercial break.

Andy started to get up.

“No,I can manage.Remember,no cast.”

Andy lowered himself back to the sofa.

“It’s great that Luke’s getting better,”Craig said,once Luke had left.

“Uh huh.”Though if he was honest,Andy still wanted to help Luke bathe.

“I remember when you first came back from Afghanistan;you hated having to rely on people all the time.But when you could do stuff for yourself,you felt a lot happier.”

Andy smiled;he couldn’t help himself.“Since when did you get so smart?”

Craig,who had been sitting on the floor between Andy and Luke’s feet,climbed onto the sofa and sat in Luke’s seat.“Good genes.”

Andy slung an arm over his nephew’s shoulder.“You’re a good kid.When you’re not embarrassing the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.It’s just I’m so happy for you and Luke and wish I…well,you know.”

“Things not going too well with you and Dennis?”Andy tried not to growl out the name.

Craig sighed.“He’s all right,but—”

“But?”Andy knew he shouldn’t ask,but Craig had brought up the subject.

“I don’t think we could be anything more than just friends.And sometimes not even that.”

“Then maybe you should move on.”Andy wanted to tell Craig to tell Dennis to fuck off,but knew he couldn’t.

“We’re not all as lucky as you.”

“Dennis isn’t all there is.You could do a lot better.”

“Suppose.”

They sat in silence for a while,until Craig,who was facing the hallway,suddenly said,“Oh,fuck!”Andy turned to see what Craig was looking at and saw Luke leaning on the doorframe,wearing a pair of form-fitting black silk pyjamas.The top half of the outfit had a dragon design in silver and red.

Andy was too stunned to rebuke his nephew for his outburst.“Wow,”was all he said.

Luke smiled and looked,well,hot.“You ready for bed?”

Craig whimpered.

“Um,Craig,you go use the toilet.”The bathroom was off the bedroom;Andy didn’t want him coming through in the night.

Craig sniggered,but did as he was told,laying a hand on Luke’s arm as he passed.“Where did you get these?They’re fucking sexy.”

“Craig,bathroom!”Andy growled.

“I’m going.I’m going.”

Andy turned his attention back to Luke,who was approaching the sofa.“You’re—”he swallowed.“God,just…God.”

“You like it?”Luke smiled seductively and sat next to him.

Andy nodded.

“Got them as a present last Christmas for…”Luke paused,clearly not wanting to finish what he’d started to say.When he did speak again,it was with an embarrassed,“But I never had a chance to wear them.”

Andy reached out a hand and touched Luke’s chest through the black silk.“Beautiful,”he whispered.“Luke,you’re—”Andy cupped Luke’s face and was lost for words.How,why,was this man,someone who could have anyone,interested in him?

“Is everything all right?I wanted it to be special,you know,for our first time.”

Andy continued to stare at Luke’s perfect features.The blond,almost white hair,the clear cornflower-blue eyes.He was afraid,now the moment of truth was almost upon them,that he’d not be good enough.

“Andy?”

He shook his head to try and clear his mind.“It’s just that you,you’ve had a lot of men who—”

Luke’s face crumpled.He started to pull away.

“No,no.”Andy realised what he’d said and how it must sound.

Slowly,Luke brought his eyes up to meet Andy’s.They were blinking rapidly,as if to ward off tears.Andy leaned forward and kissed Luke’s eyes that closed just before his lips made contact.

“Please,love,let me finish.“You’ve let men have sex with you who are experienced,who are—”Andy groped for the right word.“Well-versed.”

Luke started to speak,but Andy stopped him.

“This isn’t easy for me.I know I’m no innocent virgin or anything,but I’m just scared that I won’t—”Andy closed his eyes.He wasn’t used to having such intensely personal discussions,but he knew he had to speak aloud his concerns.He’d promised Luke he’d never have any secrets from him.“I’m scared that I’ll not be as good as…as…”Shit,why had he started this?

“Andy,”Luke’s voice was quiet,calm.“You won’t disappoint me.”Luke gave him such a look of sincerity,Andy almost believed him.“All those men.As you said,yes,there have beena lot.But as you also said,they had sex with me.To put it bluntly they fucked me for money.Itmight have looked like we were making love,but it was acting.You’ll be making love to me for real,”Luke sighed.“I’ve been worried,too.I didn’t think I was good enough for you,because of my past.”

“No,never think that.”

Luke smiled softly.“So you see?Neither of us has anything that we should be worried about.”

Andy gathered his precious man into his arms and hugged him as tightly as he dared,given Luke’s healing ribs.“God,Luke,I love you so much.”

“I finished in the…uh.”Craig came into the room.“Sorry.”

Andy felt a rush of anger,but forced it down.It wasn’t Craig’s fault.“You ready to turn in?”he said into Luke’s neck,not sure who he was asking.

“Yeah,”Luke said.

“Can I watch?”