ROSALINE
I took his skinny hands and held back from snickering. Even if I did want to make bad decisions today, I didn't plan on using Gerald's father. His mother seemed more befitting for that cause.
My smile was on the surface, the kind that stretched so hard that my cheeks began to hurt, and I dimmed my eyes, staring intently at him before giving a response. "Julie must have had quite the reputation here, seeing as everyone seems to mistake me for her."
"Rosa..." I heard Gerald call from behind me, and his hands found mine as he gently pulled me into my seat.
I didn't dare to protest. My rebellion had to be quiet in order to stay on the safe side. Despite knowing this, my insides still burned with anger at how small they all made me feel. It was as though I was no different from a speck of dust again.
"My bad," Mr. Thorne's voice cut through the tense atmosphere. "You guys look alike, and I've seen her a few times. She was really beautiful and left an impression. That must be why I can't seem to take the image of her off my mind. Her name is pretty easy to remember, too."
My stomach jerked hard, and I fell into level one again. No different from a broken little child haunted by the words of other people. Look alike? That was a first, considering how utterly different I was from Julie. She was a five-foot-seven blonde who looked like she belonged on a runway. Her height was enough to cancel my five-foot-three existence, and I literally vanished into thin air the moment she was in the room. Forgive me if I couldn't seem to fish out where the resemblance was.
I steepled my fingers as my elbows rested on the table. "Really?" I asked Gerald, batting my eyelids in the most off-putting way possible. "This is the first time I'm getting that beautiful compliment. Do you think the same? Woah, I must really look like her then, seeing as you didn't hesitate to marry me."
I poked his nose and scrunched mine, staring at him with all the fake affection that I could muster until Mrs. Thorne said something that grabbed my attention, possibly breaking my faux confidence simultaneously.
"You don't really... look like her, my dear," She mentioned, but the tone of her voice suggested nothing like care, or sympathy. It was an attack, and we both knew it. "I must say, you... glow in your own way, not easy to notice at first, but... you do glow, actually. It's just Julie is recognized the moment she steps into a room, and it must be one of the reasons my son had fallen for her."
Mrs. Thorne heaved a sigh, touching her heart as she looked up affectionately, her eyes holding sadness that I couldn't tell was real. "Bless her soul, that poor thing!"
"Too bad, she-"
Gerald's hand gripped mine from underneath the table, a plea for me to shut up, and for some reason, I did. This discussion was disrespectful to my sister during her lifetime, and I constantly needed to remind myself that it wasn't Julie's fault that I was a subpar, unimpressive dullard who still wouldn't stand out if she dyed her hair pink.
"Let's talk about other things," Gerald suggested. "Like, you mum, how have you been these past few days?"
"Oh," Mrs. Thorne breathed, inhaling deeply as her eyes brushed over me for a brief moment. "I've been out and about. Same as your father. What about you, my love?"
She didn't even let him ask. If there was anything I'd noticed in this setting, it was how domineering Mrs. Thorne was, leaving her husband to pick up the breadcrumbs of the conversation. It was the same at the last dinner, too. It seemed like I'd found my adversary.
"Good. Getting married is nothing short of amazing. In fact, my wife here is the most interesting individual I've ever met, and I wonder, you know? Why I haven't met her all these while."
"Really?" Mrs Thorne leaned closer to the table, suddenly amused. Her attention was placed upon me. It felt heavy, and my skin pricked from the scrutiny she had me under. "I didn't know you had a personality. You seemed like quite the bland girl."
"I've been told," I responded softly. "Maybe I should wear more makeup to stand out? Perhaps the shade of that fiery red lip gloss that you have on. Oh my! It's so stunning."
"It rarely fits just anyone..."
"I can assure you it'd be perfect for me and would call all the attention I need, Mother-in-law," My tone was heavily laced with admiration, and my smile remained charged
"I want to always stand out and look as beautiful as you, always!"
Mrs. Thorne scoffed, stroking her hair as we made eye contact. My cheeks flushed red as the anxiety coursed through me, and I clenched my fists, reciting my newly found mantra. Do not let those feelings show, Rosaline. Besides, I needed them to hate me.
"So, son. Are you enjoying married life? It's beautiful with the right person," Mr. Thorne said, and Gerald giggled, momentarily meeting my eyes.
"Ah, yes. It really is beautiful with the right person. I have never had a quiet or boring time since I'd been with Rosaline. It's intriguing."
I placed my hand over my mouth and grinned, feigning appreciation. Rather than let the talk fly over my head, I leaned my body towards Gerald and rested my head on his chest. "My love, I could say the same about you! Mr and Mrs. Thorne, I'm so glad to have met a son like yours. He's the perfect gentleman."
"Of course!" His father exclaimed, his eyes vanishing into small lines as he grinned widely. For a second, I could have believed he was genuinely happy. "He's the son of his father!"
"Yes!" I agreed, tapping the table as we both laughed. "I'm not surprised he takes after you, Mr. Thorne! All the things he does for me leave me speechless!" Like when he showed me the papers of our contractual marriage. "Do you know he even hauled my drunk self out of a bar while I was dancing with-"
"Oh, hunny, have some bun!" Gerald cut in, and my protest was cut short by the soft texture of a bun squeezing into my mouth. The corner of his lips curved into an evidently fake smile. "Remember when I said you'd try them? They're one of the best things here."
I forced a nod, pouting. "I guess Lunch is served," Mrs. Thorne said, calling our attention to the array of delicacies arranged on the large table before us. "Let's eat."
Dinner began in sheer silence, and I was pretty sure that I wasn't the only one shoving the food down my throat with so much unease and discomfort. My feelings and thoughts sat with me, reminding me of the embarrassment of being a mere second choice, someone so dismissive.
A person without a personality. It wasn't the best kind of feeling in the world. It wore me out, made my blood boil, and handed me onto the urge to curse out everyone in the room for being so unfair.
Then again, whose fault was this, really? It was me at the center of all of these, and I should have done better. The clanging of cutlery against chinawares tickled my brain in the most annoying way, and for some reason, I'd like a moment to breathe.
"What do you do these days, Rosa?" Mr. Thorne asked. Thanks to him, I heard less of the clang and more of his voice. Should I even be grateful for that question? "Your father said you used to be the E-commerce manager and worked with the new product development. Those are pivotal roles. Tell me about them."
"Julie was the-"
"Mother, let her talk," Gerald said respectfully, a smile on his face. "I think I'm curious, too."
For no reason at all did my heart skip a beat, and I had to double-check the man who sat next to me to confirm if Gerald had been switched when I wasn't watching. Why did I feel those same butterflies flutter in my stomach even after how many times I tried to drown them?
I picked up the glass of water sitting before and took a quick swig. "It's as you'd expect. I specialize in trend forecasting and E-commerce. My father only put me on the new product development team as the fall two thousand and eighteen till date fashion illustration was done by me. Several of our new products germinated from my sketch ideas, and I must say, there's more to come."
The room fell into silence as the three pairs of eyes bored into my skin, their mouths dropping in awe. "That means the Laurent Tiger jacket was also your idea?" Mr. Thorne squinted, desperate for a response.
"Yes, it is. As well as the Fox moon and rain. Those items really hit the market more than I'd have ever anticipated."
"Wow!" He awed, nudging his wife. "You really loved that jacket, remember?"
She said nothing except taking an excuse and standing up suddenly to clear the dishes. It was a blatant excuse to get away from the scene. I immediately got up with her and grabbed a few. "It's okay," she stopped. "You don't have to do things like this anymore. It's a different family from yours. The maids will do it."
"No, it's fine, ma'am," I teased. "I mean, you're doing it. We can both pretend to be maids for one day.".
Rather than make them hate me, I might have done the opposite of it, and that vexed me more than anything. I picked up the dishes, and maybe the universe heard me, and my dress got hooked to the corner of the table as I tried to slip by. A loud crashing noise and I somehow found myself on the floor, next to a series of broken dishes scattered across the ground.
"Oh my god!"
"Is she okay!?" Mr. Thorne asked, and Gerald rushed to where I was, crouching and helping me up the floor. My vision was still blurry from the fall, and my side hurt like I slammed it against the floor.
Luckily, I didn't sustain any injuries, or so I thought. "What happened?" Gerald asked me, and for a moment there, I could have thought he genuinely cared.
The worried tone of his voice and his shaky breath proved it, but I still didn't believe it. Maybe I just didn't want to. Mr. Thorne was on his feet, too, moving closer to us. My body trembled from the impact of the fall and how I'd messed things up way more than I bargained for.
I felt confused and helpless, unable to decide what to do than bend to the tiled floor and try to pick off the broken shards as though it redeemed anything.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was just trying to help, and I, I didn't..." I choked out, my voice failing me towards the end.
"Let it be. That would get cleaned up," Gerald said to me as I frantically picked up the fragments. "Leave it alone. Are you injured?"
I couldn't seem to voice a response; neither could I stand up because shame engulfed me whole, and as much as I hated to admit it, I didn't want to face his mother. Not right now. I could feel the blister on my finger, a cut perhaps, but I was way too disorganized to pay it any mind.
"Why are you so stubborn? I said to leave it alone!" He pulled me up and raised my hands, checking to see if I'd sustained any injuries. His eyes were keen on me, and I didn't think I'd ever seen him this mad.
Why did he care if I was hurt or not? What was his business in this? I jerked my wrist from his grip. "I'm fine! Let go of me!"
"God, Rosa, you make me so mad! Stay and let me get you treated, please! Just stay calm for once!"
"I should have known what to expect," Gerald's mother's voice hit me in the gut. "I can't say clumsiness runs in the family because Julie would never have done this."
"Penelope.. " His father warned. "Don't."
"Well, Julie's dead," I croaked, my eyes swelling with tears. "My sister is dead, and now you have to deal with me." I didn't wait for a response. The exit was my goal.
"Goodbye, Mother," I heard Gerald say as I charged to the door, and his footsteps echoed behind me. "Rosaline, wait."
For what? More humiliation?