Chapter 41

In the next few days, I keep checking on Quinn. I begin to think that I’m getting on her nerves by asking how she feels every day, but she doesn’t show it if I am. When she answers, she sounds genuinely happy to hear from me. I guess if I were in her position, I’d feel the same. I can’t imagine how much she’s wanted to talk but hasn’t been able to. A part of me feels a little guilty, but she did it to herself. However, that doesn’t mean I should go the rest of my life ignoring her. If Quinn hadn’t made it, it would have torn me apart knowing that our last conversation wasn’t the best. If I want to raise a child who believes in second chances and forgiveness, I have to practice what I preach. Maybe one day we’ll get back to a healthy place.

The one thing I try not to mention to Quinn is her baby. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about how she must be feeling. One minute there is life growing inside of you, and the next, it’s not. I don’t know how she’s staying so strong because I’d be a total wreck. Or maybe I’d just be numb like her.

As I get closer to finding out my baby's gender, I try to remain happy and cheerful, but it’s hard. It’s hard to be happy when my friend is hurting. I almost feel guilty for being pregnant. Quinn was so excited when she saw that we were both pregnant at the same time. It was her childhood dream to be parents together, and it almost came true.

I try not to project my feelings onto the guys, but I know they can tell I’m a little on edge. Whenever they mention the baby or my next doctor’s appointment, I subtly change the subject. I need a short time to get over my anxiety, and thankfully, they understand. They don’t push or press the matter. Jasper gives me my space, and Harper checks on me by asking if I want snacks or a drink or a backrub. That’s his way of making sure I’m okay. If he can be near me, then he'll know for himself without wondering.

Deep down, I am excited about finding out if my baby is a boy or a girl. I’m ready to decorate the room and buy the cutest outfits for him or her. I can’t wait to pick a name, not that I’ve really thought of any. Now that I think about it, we haven’t done much to prepare for this baby at all. We haven't bought anything or planned anything. The only people who know are close family and friends. I haven’t even spoken about whether I want a baby shower or not. The only things I’ve been consistent with are doctor appointments, yoga, and my vitamins.

I suppose it’s a good thing that we haven’t bought all the hoopla yet. The whole Quinn situation makes me want to wait a little longer to spend any money.

While having dinner with the guys, I decide that it’s finally time for me to give up the funk I’ve been in lately. I’m tired of having them tiptoe around me as if I’m the one who has lost something. I’m fortunate and I need to act like it.

“So, Harper, would you like to come with Jasper and me when we find out the gender?”

Jasper and Harper both look up as I’m cutting into my steak.

“What? I mean, you want me to come?”

“Yeah, it’s exciting, so you should be there. It would feel weird not having you there to celebrate. Then afterward, we’ll go out to lunch or something.”

Harper takes a sip of wine before nodding.

“Yeah, I’d love to come. Count me in.” He smiles, and when I look at Jasper, the corner of his mouth is turned up.

“Cool. Plus, I want to rub it in your faces when we find out the baby is a girl.”

“Lies.” Jasper shakes his head. “Our baby will be a boy. I need a male heir.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know we were royalty.”

“We’re the Kings, baby.” Jasper shrugs, smiling to himself.

“Oh, gosh. A daughter can be an heir too, ya know.” I roll my eyes.

“I know, baby. I’m just picking on you. No matter who our child is, they will be raised to take over the empire.”

“Good. Then they can put us in a swanky upscale nursing home when we’re old.”

“Okay, let's not jump the gun. I’m still young and in my prime.”

“Are you sure about that, bro? I saw you get off the couch earlier. I think I heard joints popping,” Harper shares, causing me to throw my head back laughing.

“Fuck you. I’m not the one with a limp.”

“I was in a wreck. At least I have an excuse. You’re getting old, big brother.”

“You’re right behind me,” Jasper adds.

“You two are both way ahead of me. I’m going to be the hot young mom at the PTA meetings. All the dads are going to want my cookie recipes and crafting tips,” I joke as Jasper frowns.

“If any of those dads try to hit on my woman, they’ll get a few tips from me as well.”

“If he gets into a dad fight, please record it. I’ll cherish it forever.” Harper smirks.

We continue laughing and talking while we eat, and as I’m taking a sip of cold water, I feel something weird in my belly. It feels like gas, but it’s not. Putting my hand on my bump, I look down, frowning.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Jasper sets his fork down.

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I think I felt the baby move. Well, not really move, but something happened.”

“Are you sure it’s not gas?” Harper asks.

“I’m sure.” I laugh. “I think the baby moved.”

“Whoa,” Harper says as Jasper simply stares at me in awe.

For the rest of the night, all I think about is the little flutter and how something so small can mean so much. My baby is there and growing. It was before too, but now, it’s surreal. Now, all I want is to feel it again, but I don’t. I know it’s still early, though. I’m almost 17, so it’s not normal to feel much, but I’m happy I felt a little.

That night when Jasper and I lie in bed, he spends an hour just rubbing my belly. He chats with the baby while I read through the name book, highlighting the ones I like. I ask Jasper about a few, but he flat out rejects most of them. I admit some of the names sound a little out there, but I want my kid to have a unique name. I grew up loving my name because most kids didn’t have it. In a room full of Sarahs, Emmas, and Brittanys, I was Eden. Nothing against those names, but to me, mine was extra special. I want my child to feel empowered by their name the same way I was.

Not a lot was right about my childhood, but I was always glad that my mom gave me the name she did. It shaped how I felt about people. I wanted to be their bright spot. Eden means delight, and it was only right for me to live up to it.

As I’m flipping through the pages, beginning to get discouraged about the perfect name, my eyes fall on one that stands out. Dragging my highlighter over it, I say it in my head a few times, finding myself liking it more and more. I want to ask Jasper about it, but I find him sleeping with his head on my lap. Slowly, I run my fingers through his hair, gently waking him.

“I’m up,” he groans.

“Yeah right, sleepyhead,” I mumble. “So, I think I found a good girl name.”

“What is it?”

“I’m not telling you just so you can reject it. I’m going to keep it to myself for now.”

“It’s probably some 70’s hippie name.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” I smile to myself because he’s totally right, and now that I think about it, Sunshine King might be a little much.

I’ll keep looking.