CHAPTER 16

I know Sam is out here somewhere. I watched him come this way earlier, after the hypnotizing session. After he freaked us all out with his revelations and predictions. I guess he freaked himself out just as bad. It wasn’t exactly the best of news. But I just got the good news he needed to hear.

Squinting into the waning light, I search the grounds of the withered garden behind the research lab. The cold snap has iced the ground with frost, making his footsteps quite visible. I follow them around the side of the building to the oak trees lining the side of the compound. I find him leaning against one tree, his shoulders hunched and hands in his pockets. He stares off into space, his face a total blank. He looks so completely lost it breaks my heart. Out of all of us, he has the hardest cross to bear, and right now it looks like he could use a friend. The ground cracks with every step I take, but he seems unaware of my approach.

“Hey,” I call gently once I’m close enough. He startles and looks up, covering his worry quickly, but I know him too well.

“Hey yourself.”

“You mind some company?”

He flashes me that charming smile that always made my knees weak, dimples and all. “Do I look like a fool? I’d never turn down the company of a beautiful lady.”

I snort loudly. “You trying to flatter me, McKinley?”

“I’m not trying anything. I’m simply asking if you’re a ticket, ‘cause you got fine written all over you.”

I roll my eyes at him and groan. “Oh, Lord. Still as full of shit as ever I see.”

“What?” He pretends to be offended. “That’s one of my best lines.”

“Then you need to get yourself some new lines, my friend. That was pathetic.”

“Oh, you think so?” He raises a dark brow. “I seem to recall that line, or one very similar to it, got me to first base with you on our first date.”

“In your dreams, buddy. I don’t think so. You must have me confused with someone else.”

He pretends to think, tapping a finger against his chin. “Yeah. Could be. Maybe it was the other hot redhead I was sleeping with.” He points the finger at me. “Yup, it was her. I remember now. She was a dynamo in the sack. You could take some lessons from her.”

I slap a hand into his gut, trying to smother my grin. “You’re an ass.”

Leaning against the tree beside him, I let my amusement fade away. We’re both silent, simply enjoying the red and orange sky highlighted by the setting sun. I finally break the quiet.

“That was intense in there earlier. You okay?”

I feel him shrug. “Sure. Why wouldn’t I be? I just told everyone that the enemy we thought we knew is bigger and more badass than we ever believed possible, and that once it’s ready to take us on, mankind probably doesn’t stand a chance of survival. Why would that bother me?”

I tilt my head. “Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. And you could look at it that way. Or you could look at it from my perspective. You found out where one of the head honchos is hiding. The one that has a vendetta against us. You also told us it’s still inside its pod, which means it’s still not in full fighting form. And guess what they have here that the leeches don’t? Grenades. So from where I’m standing, we’re looking pretty good.”

He snorts. “If only it were that simple. There are so many things still up in the air. What about Amy? How is she involved in this? What about me? Just because I manage to keep those bastards out of my head doesn’t mean I’m still not infected.”

“You’re not.”

He turns his head to look at me. “You don’t know that for sure.”

“Yes, I do. Doc Kasina has your blood results. She said there’s nothing abnormal about them. No sign of infection.” I grin at him in excitement. “You’re not infected. You’re still the same old Sam.”

He studies me in confusion, like he can’t quite get the gist of what I’m saying.

“But how is that possible? I was in a pod for eighteen months? How am I not….affected?”

“Maybe you were being held in stasis like the ones you saw under hypnosis? Maybe you were just a food supply?” I grasp at the first thing to pop into my head. “Who cares, Sam. Bottom line, Doc says you’re fine.”

He runs a hand through his hair as relief fills his face, easing away the lines of anxiety. “Oh God, Bix. That’s… I can’t explain to you how that makes me feel.”

I laugh, almost giddy with relief. “I think I know. Like I feel right now. And that’s not all. I spoke to Doc H about Amy. I told him everything, even how her blowing that damn whistle when we got attacked seemed to confuse the hybrid, and he has a theory. He thinks it may have something to do with frequency. He believes that the leeches communicate on a lower frequency then we do. He thinks maybe Amy is one of the very few that can hear a lower tone while we can’t. I mean, you told me she was always hypersensitive to sound, even as a baby. He’s testing her for it tomorrow. She’s been through so much these past few days I won’t let him put her through anything else right now. She needs time to rest.”

All the while I talk, Sam studies me with this stupid grin on his face. Even after I’m done talking, he keeps staring with those intense gray orbs.

“What?” I reach up and wipe my nose. “Do I have a booger hangin’ or something? Oh God, please tell me I don’t.”

He chuckles softly. “Don’t worry. You don’t. Even if you did, you’d still look beautiful, booger and all.”

I can’t help it. The heat infuses my cheeks right up to my brows, even my eyes blush, I swear.

He reaches out and caresses my cheek with the back of his fingers as his voice drops low. “You’re even more beautiful when you blush. And I can remember making you blush quite often.”

“Sam…” I reach up and grip his fingers.

“No, don’t say anything. I’m sorry. I’m just so fucking relieved. So grateful. I feel like being a sentimental fool right now, and I want you to know how much I appreciate you having my back, even when the others wanted to oust me. You were there for me. Like you’ve always been. And you were there for Amy when I wasn’t, and I love you for that. I love you so much and always will, Red. And I know that’s probably not what you want to hear right now, and this is definitely not the right time, but well, there it is. I’m tired of trying to hide it.”

My heart beats so hard in my chest I’m sure Sam can see it. I lick my lips and try to speak, but my mouth’s gone as dry as the Sahara.

“You don’t have to say anything right now, Bix. I know I kinda hit you out of the blue with that—”

“Shut up, Sam,” I growl as I push him back against the tree, plant my hands on either side of his head, and cover his lips with mine.

I feel the kiss all the way down to my toes as Sam threads his fingers through my hair, pulling me tighter. Heat fills my gut along with the feeling of familiarity. I’ve wanted to do this for so long. This is Sam. The man I’ve loved since I was fourteen. The man who shattered my heart when I thought he died. The man who wasn’t there for me when Luke was.

Luke.

Sam knows the exact moment I pull away, even though I don’t move an inch. His hands loosen in my hair as he lifts his mouth from mine, his eyes clouding with hurt and understanding.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, but he shakes his head at me.

“Don’t be. I get it.” His hands move to cup both my cheeks. “We were both carried away by the moment. You’re confused, and I only added to your confusion by kissing you. I was stupid.”

My laugh is strained. “I think I initiated that, not you.”

“Okay, you were stupid.”

“What else is new, right?”

Our laughter feels good. Familiar. I watch his smile fade away, and his eyes take on a more serious look.

“You need time. I know that. This is the last thing I’ll say on the subject, Bix, but you can’t have it both ways. No matter what you choose to do, I’ll stand by your decision. But someone will be hurt.”

I sigh and drop my eyes. As much as I don’t want to admit it, he’s right.

“That’s if we all don’t get killed on this damn mission tomorrow. Then you won’t have to decide,” he adds with a wicked grin.

“Jesus, McKinley, way to reassure me. I’ll reiterate. You’re an ass.”

He drops a light kiss on the top of my nose.

A sharp bark resonates through the garden, and I jump away from Sam almost with guilt as Gordo and Evie saunter around the corner of the building, Scruff running by their side. Gordo spots us and lifts a hand in greeting.

“There you guys are. Luke’s been looking for you. He wants to discuss Operation Big Boss.”

Confusion furrows my brow. “Operation Big Boss? Did Luke actually call it that?”

“Nah, I named it that. Every military operation since World War I has had a code name. The Germans pioneered it, go figure. I think it was the Germans. Maybe it was the Russians. I can’t remember now. Anyway, it was cool, and it stuck. Even the Avenger missions all have code names, so I figured we should, too.”

Sam laughs, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners. “Ah, Gordo. You never fail to amuse me, you and your endless supply of interesting information.”

“Useless shit, you mean,” I interrupt, and Sam spins his smile my way.

“I was trying to be nice. You should try it sometime.” He ignores my middle finger as he turns back to the kid. “And I still can’t believe you talked these bozos into getting Avenger tats. That’s so fucking lame.”

I punch him in the arm. “You’re lame. And in my defense, I was drunk at the time.”

“Nope, I’m pretty sure you were sober when you agreed to it. Drunk when you got it.” Gordo helps jog my memory. “As a matter of fact, when I tried to back out of it, I think your exact words were, ‘this is going to be so cool’.”

“You mean when you tried to chicken out because you were scared and screaming like a little girl. And whatever, you ginger geekazoid.”

Evie laughs, and Gordo throws her a look.

“Geez, it isn’t that funny. And no need for name calling, Bix.” Turning his attention to the dog, he yells, “Scruff, come on. Do your thing. We gotta get back inside.”

The dog in question stops sniffing the bush that drew his attention for a moment and heads our way. Before he gets too close, he stops abruptly and stares at Sam and me as guttural growls emanate from his chest.

“Scruff?” I question, looking over my shoulder to see what he’s growling at. Besides the barbed wire fence and the thick foliage on the other side, I don’t see anything moving.

“What’s wrong, boy?” Evie asks as she, too, peers at us. “Is there something out there?”

Scruff keeps growling and prancing uneasily around Gordon, obviously wanting to run but refusing to leave Gordo and Evie behind. Shit. None of us have a weapon on us. Maybe it’s a damn leech. That’s all we fucking need.

Suddenly, Scruff bolts. He turns tail and runs back to the lab like the hounds of hell were on his heels.

“What the hell, dog?” Gordo asks, shaking his head after the retreating beast.

“I swear to god that dog is bipolar,” I say, ignoring the hairs prickling on the back of my neck as I keep looking into the trees. “Sam, you see anything?”

“No. Maybe he smelled a feral or wolf out there. Something that scared him bad.”

“Yeah,” I agree. I give the fence one last glance. “Whatever it was, I’ll mention it to the guards to keep an eye out just the same in case there’s leeches prowling about. Let’s get inside and see what this Operation Big Boss is all about before Luke gets pissed and decides to come look for us himself. None of us want that.”

# # #

Luke and Barclay stand at the front of the room, arms crossed, and legs spread, their faces identical in their severity. The plan they just outlined is very similar to the St. Joseph’s mission. Barclay and his men will set up enough explosives to bring the huge warehouse down and kill everything inside, while we go along for backup. Only this won’t be as easy as St. Josephs. Here, we’ll have a welcoming committee of hundreds of leeches and QLs waiting for us to show up. We’ll have to fight our way through, using the guns and the few grenades they possessed, so Barclay can get close enough to carry out the plan. Simple enough, but easier said than done.

“Any questions?” Barclay asks, running a hand over his shaved head.

“Yeah.” Dom waves a hand. “Not much of a plan, dude. You actually think it’ll work?” Dom vocalizes the exact thought in my head. We’re starting to think too much alike. Fucking scary.

“Do I look like a psychic?” The soldier asks. “In theory, it should work, yes.”

“Anything should work in theory,” Dom continues. “But you know that damn warehouse is going to be crawling with hundreds of leeches protecting their god, or master, or whatever else you wanna call it. And there’s what? Fifteen of us going in? Sounds like bad odds to me.”

“Agreed,” Luke says. “But every fucking day for the past eight years has been filled with nothing but bad odds. Never stopped us before. Besides with this target on our backs, we’re already dead men walking. We’ve got nothing to lose.”

“Fair enough. But if what weirdo over there says is true, then there’s one big major flaw in this plan.” Dom jerks a finger toward Sam. “This thing we’re going after is only one of who knows how many of these ‘super minds.’ We can’t take them all down.”

“No, we can’t. But if killing this one takes out its colony and helps us survive a little longer in our part of the world, then that’s what we do. That’s all any of us can do. Buy a little time until the docs or someone comes up with a solution to decimate them once and for all.” Luke uncrosses his arms and places his hands on his hips, staring around the room at us all. “That solution may happen next week, or it may never happen, and we’ll all die battling these things. But at least we die trying to give those we love a fighting chance.”

His eyes rest on me, and I flash him a tiny smile. He sounds so much like Coop right now it makes my heart ache. I really hate to be the one to rain on his parade, but the nagging voice in my head won’t leave me alone.

“I agree with Luke and Barclay. The plan is viable. But there’s one thing we’re forgetting about. When Sam was under hypnosis, he said there were hundreds of pods packed in there, but not all were hybrids. Some were regular people being used as a food supply. We blow up that warehouse we’re possibly killing dozens of innocents.”

Luke and Barclay exchange a look, telling me they’ve already discussed this.

“We’re aware. There’s nothing we can do. We don’t know how long those people have been there. If they’re even aware of their existence or just shells of their former selves. There’s nothing we can do for them. We only have one chance at this, and we can’t screw it up. As much as I hate to say this, we must sacrifice a few to save the many. There’s no other way.”

Luke’s words are powerful, but his eyes give it away. This hurts him on so many levels, knowing he’s very well ordering the deaths of so many. Not for the first time, I don’t envy him the task of leading. He doesn’t want to do this, and it takes all my will power not to go to him and pull him into my arms. Give him my support. Robyn beats me to it. She reaches out from her chair at the front of the room and grabs Luke’s hand in hers, giving him a comforting squeeze. My heart constricts at the grateful look he shoots her. Maybe Sam’s wrong. Maybe there’s no decision for me to make after all. Not like I can really blame Luke for seeking comfort elsewhere. Sam was right about one thing. I can’t have it both ways. That still doesn’t stop the pangs of jealousy stabbing my gut.

“When do we leave?” Lewis pipes up from the other side of the room, pulling Luke’s attention away from Robyn.

His question seems to take Luke by surprise. “You and Polly are going? It’s not expected of you. You two were just our ride here. If you both want to head back to the farm, totally understandable. Barclay has already sent people to fetch the battery. The truck should be up and running by tomorrow morning.”

Lewis cracks a grin, and I almost fall off my fucking chair. That stick up his ass actually allows him to smile?

“Thanks for giving us an out, but we’re all in this together. When that monster finally reaches its hatching stage, or whatever the hell it’s gonna do, it’ll be our asses on the line, too. The farm is secure, but it won’t keep that thing out. The truck will come in handy getting us all there in one piece. We’re going with you. Right, Polly?”

The girl flashes her horsey teeth. “Yup. But like I said, you’re the one telling Kip we’re not coming back with her precious truck. If we do happen to live through this and anything happens to that truck? You’re the one going down, not me. Kip scares me more than that damn creature any day.”

Laughter echoes around the room. Not that what Polly said was especially funny, but it’s a laughter of desperation. Nervousness. An outlet for our pent-up fear.

“Maybe we got this all wrong.” Gordo grins as he scratches Scruff’s ears. “Maybe Kip is the one we need to send in to take care of this, and the rest of us get a free pass on this mission.”

“That right there?” I point his way. “That’s the most sense you’ve made in over two years. No joke.”

“Two years?” Mike ruffles his kid brother’s hair. “That’s the most sense he’s made since he’s been born.”

Gordo ducks out from under his brother’s hand, scowling at him. “Hahaha, real funny ass-wipe.”

“Aww, come on, Gordo. Not a nice word to call your big bro. And after all I’ve done for you.”

“Like what?”

Gordo narrows his eyes, knowing something was coming, but not quite sure what.

Mike thinks for a moment, then taps his finger on his head like he just remembered something. “Like convincing mom to keep you when you were born. You were so ugly she wanted to throw you away and keep the afterbirth.”

The rest of us groan at the repulsiveness of the statement, except for Dom, who barks with laughter. Trust him to enjoy that one.

“Real original, bruh. Get some new material.”

“Now, now. No need to get angry cause I was the wanted child, and you were obviously the mistake.”

“You know what, Mike? I’d love to insult you back, but you just wouldn’t understand.”

Gordo’s words fucking kill me, that and the look of disbelief on Mike’s face before he cracks up laughing at his kid brother. Pulling him into a headlock, he runs his knuckles over the red hair as Gordo’s protest is muffled by his brother’s armpit. “Good one, kid.”

The levity and joking are all wrong. So not appropriate knowing what we face tomorrow, but it’s just what we need right now. Even Barclay and his men loosen up. Everyone is caught up in the silliness of the moment, except for Sam. He stares off into space, unaware of the laughter around him.

Kind of looking like he did when he was hypnotized.

I lean over and call his name. “Sam.”

His startled gaze sweeps over me. “Yeah?”

“You okay, man?”

His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m fine. Just tired. I’ll be better tomorrow. I promise.”