Chapter 34 — Ace

Hospitals had far too much white, from the walls to the floor, to the bedsheets and the fluorescent lights.

Doctors and nurses flitted in and out of my room to check my vitals, shine even brighter lights in my eyes, and ask me questions that hurt to answer. I started pretending to be asleep when they came in, letting Josiah handle them.

“You know it would be helpful if you spoke to them,” he chided. “These people saved your life.”

“And if they don’t ease up on the fussing, they’ll drive me right back to the grave.”

Josiah stiffened. “Don’t joke about that.”

He looked like he hadn’t slept well in days.

I grabbed his hand. “You should go home and rest, Josiah. Won’t your parents worry if you’re gone too long?”

“They’re in one of their ski lodges for winter break.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, ghetto boy.”

A nurse came into the room, and Josiah jerked away like I had burned him. She set a tray of food down by my bedside and hurried back out, jotting down notes on her clipboard.

I stirred the porridge. “Does this place only serve mush?”

“The doctor says you shouldn’t have solid foods until you’re discharged. He’s worried you could undo the work they put into fixing your throat.”

The porridge wasn’t bad, but after a week of the same foods cycled repeatedly, I craved for a steak or barbecued ribs. Even a salad would have satisfied me at that point.

Josiah laughed at the jealousy on my face as he finished the last of his orange chicken. “If you ask nicely, I’ll let you lick the sauce off the takeout container.”

I flipped him off. It only made him laugh harder as he kissed me on the lips. The tangy taste of the chicken was still in his mouth, and I chased after him as he pulled away.

He nodded toward the door. “Not now.”

I sat back and let the doctor subject me to another round of exams.

My boredom intensified as my stay dragged on. To pass the time, Josiah told me about his childhood antics, most of them involving his brother, read out news articles, and kissed me breathless in the hospital bed.

But he drew back when people entered the room, acting the part of a concerned friend and nothing more.

The hospital discharged me on New Year’s Eve, and Josiah drove us back to the city, dropping me off at my house.

My mother opened the door and swept me into a bone-crushing hug. “Oh, Ace. I was so worried. I would have visited you but—”

She made a helpless gesture.

“I know. No car.”

“What were you thinking facing him alone?”

I sighed. “It’s been a long time since someone could best me one on one. I became careless.”

“Seth’s a fighter, always has been.”

A thought struck me. “Do you see him when you look at me? Is that why you hated me?”

“Of course not. I was just wrong in the head.” Mother brushed her thumb over my scar. “Let’s not dwell on upsetting things. Tell you what, I’ll call over David and Genevieve and we can have our own New Year’s Eve celebration.”

She whipped up a beef and shrimp pasta before they arrived, bearing desserts and bottles of champagne.

I gave David a pointed look when he handed me a flute. “You realize I’m underage, right?”

He smiled. “A little won’t kill you.”

The night was filled with laughter and chatter as we counted down to midnight.

Genevieve held up her glass. “To a great new year!”

“And one tamer than the last,” Mother added as she drank.

I took a sip of champagne and burst into a coughing fit, much to everyone’s amusement.

“EAGLE’s agreed to pardon our crimes,” David said when I could breathe again. “It’ll be like having a clean slate.”

“What are you planning to do with it, Ace?” my mother asked. “I know I wanted you to go to school, but the Underground’s a mess without someone at its head.”

It took me a moment to understand what she was implying. “You think I can be the next Underground leader?”

David shrugged. “You’re the closest thing we have to a successor.”

“Because I’m Seth’s son?”

Genevieve shook her head. “Because you played a major role in forcing him into exile.”

I considered it for far longer than I’d have liked to admit. The idea made me heady with power. My age wouldn’t be a problem either since I could select a few to act as liaisons to the rest of the Underground.

But I had already killed dozens. If I continued down the same path, how many more would have to die?

I shook my head. “I want to finish high school. Maybe attend college and get a job.”

To ease my conscience and become a better person, for all of them.

Mother’s eyes crinkled as she smiled. “I’m proud of you, Ace.”

I held up my glass. The champagne sparkled like liquid gold.

“To new beginnings,” I said. “And second chances we may not always deserve.”

Josiah came to pick me up the next day, looking more than a little hungover. He winced at every noise, cursing out drivers on several occasions.

“Had fun at the party?” I teased.

He groaned as the butler opened the door. “I downed half a bottle of straight vodka during a drinking contest. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“That stuff’s like paint thinner.”

“I’ll take your word for it. I don’t remember much of what happened.” Josiah yanked the curtains shut. “God, the light hurts my eyes.”

“I’m guessing you want to stay inside today.”

He kissed the hollow behind my ear, sending a shiver up my spine. “Let’s go up to my room. The servants won’t disturb us there.”

The next few days flew by in a blur. We spent hours in his bed, eventually graduating to the chairs and even a trip outside for takeout.

As the end of winter break approached, Josiah grew withdrawn. I chalked it up to a combination of back to school dread and the fact that his parents’ return had been delayed by snowed in roads.

“Ace, you know I love you, right?” Josiah asked.

We were lying in bed the Sunday before school started again, our legs tangled up in the sheets.

My fingers paused in their task of tracing circles on his chest. “I don’t think we have grounds to talk about love just yet.”

He rolled his eyes. “Alright, you know I care about you, right?”

“That’s better.”

“But when we get back, we can’t act like we’re together. If someone found out we were—that I was—”

“There’s nothing wrong with liking guys.”

Josiah’s eyes were pleading. “Not according to my parents.”

“If you give them a chance, they might surprise you.”

“Yeah, and not in a good way either. You’ve seen how deep the world can cut.”

I let my head fall to the pillows.

“Please, Ace, you have to understand.”

I didn’t. I wanted to be done with lies. But the vulnerable look on his face made me soften.

I sighed. “People will find out about us. We can’t pretend forever.”

Relief swept across his face. “Don’t worry about forever.”

“I’m not. I’m worried about you.”

Josiah kissed me. “Don’t worry about that either.”

I melted into his embrace. At the hospital, I had lived for stolen moments like these. Now stolen moments was all we’d have.

The next morning, Jefferson High was lost in the throes of sleep deprivation. People shuffled in and out of the building, clutching cups of coffee. Even teachers weren’t immune to the daze that descended over the school.

I had no obligation to hang around Josiah now that my probation was over, so I didn’t see him until lunch when his usual entourage surrounded him.

Nicholas waved from where he sat with his friends. “Ace, over here.”

I joined him with a strange combination of relief and regret.

“You doing alright?” Alex asked.

I shrugged. “Are any of us?”

The table fell quiet.

“So,” Delaney said. “Mrs. Hunter told me Lexi needs to submit her draft of the literary analysis.”

Elliot shook his head. “Strict to the last, isn’t she? How’s Lexi supposed to write a book report from beyond the grave?”

Alex pushed his glasses down his nose. “I don’t care to hear your excuses, Mr. Harrell. Back in my day, you got your work done, and you got it done on time. A trifle like death is no excuse.”

He punctuated the sentence with a loud sniff.

Elliot burst into mocking applause. “Bravo, my good man, bravo.”

I let their voices wash over me like a tide. They were more subdued, and there were awkward pauses where they would wait for Lexi to respond, only to find she wasn’t with them. I wondered how many other people had that, the memory slips and the heavy silences.

The bell rang, and the students left the cafeteria in a giant herd. I hung back with Nicholas to avoid being trampled.

He watched me without the wariness he had at the beginning of the year. It was a dangerous thought. Spies and assassins. EAGLE and the Underground. We were meant to stand apart. Yet after everything, he might have been the only person who could truly understand me.

“Was it worth it?” I asked him.

He knew without me having to explain. “It depends on the day. I’ll wake up sometimes and regret the things I’ve done.”

“But you’d do it again given the chance,” I finished, “because the alternative could be far worse.”

“Exactly.” Nicholas nodded. “And we won, didn’t we?”

A ghost of a smile touched my lips. “Yes, that we did.”