Chapter 103 The Weight of Choices
The diner’s air conditioning hummed like a disinterested lullaby as Sierra’s gaze flickered to the window, her knuckles whitening against the chipped Formica tabletop. She knew what was coming. She’d hardened herself against it for several days, knowing this moment would come. She didn’t blame either of them, but that didn’t take away the hurt.
Ryder’s voice, low and edged with the dryness of a desert wind, broke the silence. “I’ve been seeing Sylvia.” He paused, studying her face. “I don’t know what happened. We just seemed to click.”
Even though she already knew, his admission felt like someone had stabbed her in the gut with a knife and twisted it. She met his eyes, those whiskey-colored depths that once held hers with such deep devotion, and let her breath steady. “Sylvia told me.”
His brows snapped together, the ghost of a shadow crossing his features. “She did?”
“She’s my best friend,” Sierra said softly, the words a shield. “She tells me everything.”
Ryder leaned back, his boots thudding against the floor as if grounding himself. “But she didn’t know about us?”
“No.”
“So, she tells you everything, but you don’t tell her everything.” His voice wasn’t accusatory, but it carried the weight of a door creaking open to a long-forgotten room.
Sierra’s throat tightened. She’d rehearsed this moment a hundred times in the privacy of her mind since she’d seen the two of them together, but no script could soften the jagged truth. “Ryder, you’re dating my best friend. I wish I could say that it doesn’t hurt, but it does. I still have deep feelings for you. I love Sylvia too. I can’t accuse her of betraying me because she didn’t know about us.”
His jaw clenched, the old ache between them resurfaced. “Now you know what it feels like.”
Is this about getting even?” she shot back, the sting of his words sharp.
“No.” He exhaled, rough and slow, like a man bracing against a storm. “But I still had deep feelings for you when you showed up here with your billionaire boyfriend.” The words billionaire and boyfriend landed like stones. “The same billionaire who’s buying up land around here, destroying families, and planning to ruin our way of life. Of course, you said you were returning to Manhattan to ‘handle’ that situation. From where I stand, it doesn’t look like you’re handling anything. I suppose the private jet, trips to exotic places, and pampering suits you better than our simple, backwoods way of life here.”
The accusation hit harder than she expected. She opened her mouth to defend herself, to explain Julian’s grip on her life, the Scotsman’s whispered warnings, the invisible noose of secrecy, but she couldn’t. She held her response while a busboy cleared a table nearby, oblivious to the tempest in the adjacent booth.
“It’s complicated, Ryder,” she said finally, her voice fraying.
“Sure, it’s complicated, Si.” His laugh was bitter, dry as the desert dust he’d always worn like a second skin. “It doesn’t have to be. You’ve made it that way. You’re trying to balance two… no, three worlds, now that you have London. How could things be anything but complicated?”
The words hung between them, a gulf as wide as the one between Manhattan and the Arizona badlands. Sierra stood abruptly, her chair screeching. The warmth of Ryder’s presence, his scent of leather and sage, was suddenly suffocating.
“I can’t have this conversation right now,” she said, getting up from her seat in the booth. She walked briskly toward the door to the diner and slipped out. Ryder didn’t call after her or follow her.
She reached the rented SUV parked outside, her hands trembling as she fumbled with the key.
By the time she pulled onto the road leading out to the ranch, it was blurred by tears. There was no escaping the complicated world she lived in; the world she’d created for herself because of the choices she’d made. The sting of Ryder’s words, his accusations. Her life with Julian, something that was forced rather than voluntary, was becoming more and more difficult. She was near the point of breaking under the weight of it. The only thing that was holding her together was the thought of losing Sage Ranch.
She didn’t see Cody slouched on the porch with a half-empty whiskey bottle until she was on the steps of the porch.
"Whole damned thing is a disaster," he slurred, lifting his head with effort.
Sierra’s breath caught. "What do you mean, Cody?” she said gently, stepping closer. “You’ve been doing a great job. The ranch is getting along just fine thanks to you.” The words felt hollow.
He let out a bitter laugh, lifting the bottle in a mocking toast. “I’m ain’t talking about the ranch, Si,” he said, voice thick with emotion. “I’m talking about Ryder and Sylvia.”
Silence.
The wind stilled. Even the distant cry of a hawk seemed to pause.
“Ryder and Sylvia? What are you talking about?” Sierra whispered.
Cody looked at her, his eyes glassy but full of pain. “He just swooped right in and took her away from me.”
Sierra was shocked by his confession. She’d had no idea that Cody had been interested in Sylvia.
Cody swiped a calloused hand over his face, the glow of the porch light etching the exhaustion into his features. “I seen ‘em. At the feed store. Holdin’ hands.” His laugh was a broken thing. “Felt like a bullet to the gut, but I got nothin’ to say ‘bout it, do I? You’re my big sister, and you broke his heart, then came back with that Julian guy like he’s some kinda hero. Of course, he’s gonna go for someone like her.”
Sierra froze, her pulse a frantic drum. “Cody, I…”
“You don’t gotta explain, Si. I ain’t a kid no more.” He took a long swig from the bottle, then winced. “But you ain’t talkin’ ‘bout the land deals, are you? You’re not trying to change his mind. You don’t want to give up that highfalutin lifestyle. That Rossi guy’s got the whole town spooked.”
The weight of his words crushed her. Worse was knowing Cody was right, Julian’s encroaching shadow was swallowing the community, and she was helpless to do anything about it. Worse yet, her silence made her complicit.
“Cody, I can’t…”
He lurched to his feet, spilling whiskey onto the warped wood planks as he jerked open the screen door. He stepped through it and turned to face her. “Save it, Si. You ain’t here for me. You’re here ‘cause you’re lost. Just like you’ve always been.”
The door slammed behind him, leaving her alone in the empty yard.
Sierra sank into the porch swing. The memories of the laughter she shared with Sylvia days before were forgotten as her tears streamed down her cheeks and the weight of her choices crashed over her.
Cody’s words were dead on. She was lost.