Empathy wins and I smile and grab her hand over the table. "Margaret, I know how it feels to give into temptation. I fell in love with my first cousin remember. Every night we would fight our conscience to be together. It was dreadful."
She nods and smiles as if understanding. "When Joshua was sixteen he fell off a horse and lost a lot of blood." I frown as the next part of the story unfolds. "Anyway his father was away at the time overseas and Joshua ended up needing a blood transfusion. When the doctors tested his blood type it came back that he had a very rare blood type and that it was not genetically possible that he could be a full sibling to his brothers. I have never been so crushed. Joshua was the son of another man. How could I have done this to Joshua and his beloved father?" My eyes cloud over now as I realise this was a terrible mistake. I actually feel sorry for her. "To make matters worse I had to go to this man who is still a friend of Robert's and tell him the truth so he could donate the lifesaving blood Joshua needed. He was mortified and if the truth came out he would lose everything, his wife, his kids, and his best friend. He has threatened me with violence if I ever told anybody."
I frown. "Margaret, is this man dangerous?" I whisper.
She nods. "Unfortunately yes, and unstable." She wipes her eyes again with her tissue. "It was he who brought it to my attention that the only way this secret would come out is if you and Joshua stayed together and had genetic testing … for pregnancy and things." My eyes widen as I understand. She sobs out loud.
"I knew I had to keep you apart … at all costs." I nod as I grab her hand and she squeezes it.
"Natasha, will you keep my secret … please. No good can come of this getting out. Joshua will be devastated, Robert will be devastated. This man will lose everything and take vengeance on me. Robert will probably leave me and Joshua will not be a Stanton." I frown as my tears threaten again.
"Margaret, you are asking me to lie to the man I love. I can't do that,"I whisper.
She shakes her head. "No, not lie … just not mention it and then if it comes to him having to know, I will tell him and I will pretend that you didn't know anything about it … I swear I will never implicate you in any of this mess."
I rub my hands through my hair. "Margaret, I wish you hadn't told me," I whisper angrily.
She nods. "I know but I had to, you were both so devastated. I have never seen a love like yours Natasha. You really are soulmates … I believe that … you believe that … Joshua knows that. How could I keep it from you? Keep you from each other when I knew the truth."
I frown as I drain my coffee cup. I put my head into my hands on the table. "This is fucked up Margaret, and I'm a psychologist … I deal with fucked up well."
She smiles and grabs my hand. "I know dear. I'm sorry to put you in this situation but what choice do I honestly have? If you can think of another way out of this where Joshua doesn't get hurt please let me know. I'll be all for it." I sit in silence for ten minutes quietly drinking my second coffee as I wrack my brain for another avenue to follow. I've got nothing. I nod as I blow out a heavy breath in resignation. She's right … there is no way out of it. I have no choice but to lie. Joshua deserves better.
At five-thirty I return to Joshua's room to find it empty. His belongings, my fold-up bed, everything … gone.
Max and I are puzzled until a nurse approaches us. "Are you Natasha Stanton?" she asks.
I smile proudly. "Yes."
"Your husband has been moved upstairs to the private wing and asked me to let you know where he is."
"Oh ok, thank you," I reply.
"Take the lift up to level seven and then you will see a large set of grey doors with a security code on your right. Push the buzzer and you will be buzzed in," she answers.
I smile again. "Ok thanks." We ride the lift in silence. My mind is heavily weighed down by Margaret's story t. I can't believe I actually feel sorry for her. Can you imagine what it must be like to hold a secret like that in for twenty-seven … actually, no, she said she found out when he was sixteen, so eleven years. And it is such a bad secret … my poor baby, he has no idea. God, this is such a mess. Have I done the right thing agreeing to keep this quiet? What if he finds out later that I knew all along and then leaves me for deceiving him? It's entirely possible. I'm just as bad as his mother … but what choice do we have? It's him we are protecting. What a fucking nightmare. We arrive at the security doors and a janitor is cleaning the foyer near the double doors.
Max speaks first. "Natasha Stanton to see her husband." I smile at the floor-that sounds really, really good.
The bored receptionist's voice echoes through the speaker. "Yes, come in." The doors open. We reach the receptionist's desk. "I would like to see my husband. Which room is he in?"
"Of course, the last door on the right." I smile at Max and we head down the corridor towards the last door on the right and it opens to a large private lounge area complete with television, cable and a kitchen.
I frown at Max. "This is random." He smiles and nods. There is a cleaner in there restocking the kitchen.
"Hello," I smile.
She smiles. "Hello."
I frown at her. "What are these large rooms? Where are the hospital rooms?"
"This is the private wing for celebrities who need more privacy from the press, and more room for their bodyguards and things."
My eyes widen. "Oh," I reply, shocked. Jeez … this is so … over-the-top Hollywood.
"Yes, most of the LA celebrities have been in here at one point or another for substance abuse issues." My eyes drop to the floor. Yes, like my so-called husband.
"Hmm I see, where is my husband?" This gossipy bitch is starting to piss me off.
"The door to his room is around the corner next to the television." I nod and head in that direction.
"Tash, I will just stay out here tonight, ok?" Max states.
I turn and frown at him. "Max, that's not necessary. Go home honey. I will be fine. Nobody can get in here. There is security. It's safe here."
Max narrows his eyes. "No, I will be staying. I'm good. I will watch the game on the screen." My eyes flick to the gossipy kitchen girl who is now listening to our conversation. Buzz off big ears.
"I will be out to see you soon," I reply as he flops into the lounge chair. I walk into the room and my jaw drops. Bloody hell, this room looks like a luxury hotel suite. There is even a double bed. What in the world? Joshua walks out of the bathroom and throws me a swoon-worthy smile.
"There's my beautiful girl. I was starting to get worried. I thought that maybe you and my mother may have killed each other. I was going to send out a search party." He bends and tenderly wipes the hair back from my face. I smile and put my arms around his neck and inhale his wonderful scent. I feel better just being in his vicinity… I need to put this paternity shit out of my head.