Methis Delis POV
When the pups finally left us alone, it was almost too dark. Jamal had gone to sleep next to me and the feelings of anxiety I had feared would come when I first got here were finally back, nagging at me like a headache that just refused to go away.
It was suffocating to say the least.
I lay on the bed, my heart pounding against my chest like a trapped bird desperately seeking escape. The soft moonlight filtering through the curtains cast a silver glow upon the room, throwing light the nagging question that lingered within me. Beside me, lay Jamal, shirtless, sleeping almost quietly, his chest heaving up and down.
I felt like I was sleeping next to a tiger, and that any moment, even the tiniest, slightest, wrong move could wake him up and make him tear me apart.
So naturally, of course, I decided to tap him.
Reaching out, my hand shaking so violently you would have thought I was waking up an ACTUAL tiger, even though he is an Alpha Wolf, so there might not be too much of a difference in the amount of danger I was in. I grasped his arm, feeling his strong muscles ripple under my touch and shook him as gently as I possibly could, before withdrawing the hand immediately, genuinely surprised at my own audacity.
Jamal shifted, nearly taking the entire blanket with him before turning around to face me, his eyes meeting mine with a distant gaze, as if lost in a world of his own, red from sleeping.
"Um, excuse me," I stuttered, my voice barely audible in the stillness of the night. "Are you... awake?" It was the stupidest question to ever escape my lips I my life. Of course he was sleeping, I just woke him up... But I had absolutely no idea what else to say.
He blinked, his brows furrowing as if awakening from a deep sleep. "Hm?"
Ah fuck, I had gone and woken him up, "No please, I thought you were asleep."
He ran his hand through his hair, "Well I was, until just now,"
"I-I-I am so sorry I woke you up." I stuttered, trying to find the right words, not wanting to illicit any type of an angry reaction from him. My heart pounded as I realized I might have made a grave mistake.
I should have just let the man sleep for fuck sake.
He groaned, rolling his massive frame to face me, his eyes still drooping as they started at me through half covered lips.
"Is there something you want to tell me?"
Despite myself, I couldn't help but notice he had that deep morning voice men had from resting their vocal cords too long, and coupled by the fact that his normal, resting voice was deep as fuck already, it all combined to make him sound like literal rolling thunder, sending tremors down my spine into my legs...
"I am so sorry," I muttered again, keeping my voice low, fearing if I spoke too fast, I might break into another hopeless stutter, God this was going so badly.
He paused for a moment, staring at me as the loud beating of my heart threatened to tear through my ribcage. It was so damn loud I was afraid he was going to hear it.
"Well," he said finally, almost making me jump. "I am already awake, aren't I? What did you want to tell me"
" Nevermind Jamal," I said quickly, panic rising in my voice now, "Just go back to sleep, I totally forgot."
"No you didn't." He said almost quietly.
"I did, I did, I promise... " I turned away quickly, wrapping the pillow tight against me, as though it would offer any protection if a literal beast really wanted to tear me apart.
"Methis..." He said slowly, his large arm reaching over to touch me, making me flinch. But there was no need, it wasn't necessary. His large palms were hard and calloused, but surprisingly gentle, I soon found myself turning on my own accord to face him.
"Do I look like a monster to you?" He asked, his eyes still boring into mine. I wanted to look away but somehow, couldn't. They held me in place, forcing me to surrender to him.
"No." I said so quietly, my voice was almost a whisper, but that didn't mean he didn't scare the living shit out of me.
"Good then." He said, "I won't hurt you, you are carrying my children, What is it? Why did you wake me up so late?"
My nerves tangled themselves into knots as I struggled to find the right words. "Earlier, someone in the palace, kind of mentioned that I... resemble someone. Someone important to you. Is that why I was chosen? Am I just a substitute?" I said all these while staring at my fingers, refusing to look at his face because once again, I was scared as shit, in case his reaction wasn't exactly optimal.
But he didn't reply immediately, instead, his eyes flickered with a mix of emotions, and for a moment, I thought I saw a glimmer of recognition. "You do resemble her," he finally admitted, his voice laced with a hint of regret. "But you are more than just a substitute. You are your own person, with your own strengths and desires."
Relief washed over me like a soothing balm. Perhaps there was a reason for his gentleness, a deeper connection that extended beyond mere appearance. A flicker of hope sparked within my chest, pushing away the darkness that threatened to consume me.
Yet, despite this newfound reassurance, a bittersweet feeling settled over my heart. I couldn't help but think of the my "Other guy" , the one I had silently loved, who met an untimely and tragic end. The pain of his loss still haunted me, a wound that refused to heal.
Becoming the surrogate wife of a wolf while still in high school was far from the life I had envisioned.
Heck, it was far from the life anybody at all,who wasn't clinically insane or borderline schizophrenic. Who would want to be plucked right outta high school before they even had a chance to attend prom and forced to be the surrogate to a fucking werewolf?
It sounded asinine at the very least, too fantastic to be true. If my loving father knew of my current predicament, his heart would surely shatter into a thousand pieces. The thought of his disappointment weighed heavily upon me, like an anchor dragging me deeper into the deep sea.
And all of this for no fault of mine.
And yes of course, there was my wicked stepmother, a woman who reveled in my misery and sought to destroy any glimmer of happiness that dared to enter my life.
It was almost shocking, reading fairy tales about step daughters who were forced into horrible conditions by their step mothers had their lives town apart. I always thought it wasn't possible, that nobody was that comically evil as to force a child into doing all that.
And here, here I was. Doing the exact same thing and even worse. The irony of my situation was not lost on me; trapped between the claws of a wolf and the clutches of a tormenting existence, I felt like a puppet in a twisted play.
* * *
As the night wore on, the silence between us thickened, punctuated only by the soft whispers of the wind outside and Jamal, who had almost immediately gone back to sleep, his snoring still loud enough to distract me. It was in this stillness that I realized the true weight of my choices. I could give in to the darkness, allowing it to consume me, or I could rise above my circumstances and create my own path.
Naturally, as the foolish, naive girl I was, I decided to go for the later. I had been pushed around enough by my stepmom, I wasn't going to let this Alpha do it too, scary as he was.
With a newfound determination, I squared my shoulders and met the Jamal's gaze head-on. "I may resemble her, but I am not her. I am me. And I will not allow myself to be defined by past shadows or the expectations of others."
He remained silent for a moment, gazing into my eyes, a look of amusement on his face while I stared back, trying not to show any weakness by breaking eye contact, even though my heart was pounding so loudly I was afraid it would jump out of my mouth.
A faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips, a glimmer of admiration shining in his eyes. "You are stronger than you realize," he murmured, his voice a gentle caress against the turmoil within me. I immediately felt guilty, like I had spoken out of turn. And even then, the gentleness in his voice sounded dangerous to me, like he was just bidding his time, waiting for me to let my guards down before he struck.
Then to my absolute surprise, he leaned towards me, closing the distance and kissing me hard on my lips.