Chapter 15 The Heart of Heartless Devil

The dismayed look etched on Serena's face was something I was expecting after I will deny this wedding. She thought the marriage was really happening, but little did she knew that it was only a game. I will never do a marriage of force with her. It was against my rules.

She was staring at me with wide eyes, but I shifted my attention to the Father whose mouth was literally hung open in shock. Nathan was too confused to even blink his eyes which were set on me gawking like a hawk.

"Father, can I please request you to accompany my son to the rest room?" I requested in a genuine tone because it was a custom of our religion to always be respectful to our Father. After all, he was the closest one to Lord Jesus, who was practically watching Everything that went wrong in my life but now it was time to set it all up.

Ignoring the trembling state of Serena for a while, I turned my attention to Nathan who wasn't sure as to how he should react? And I knew that I have to reassure him.

Kneeling down in Infront of him, I kept both palms on either side of the shoulder, keeping my gaze locked with him.

"Nathan, do you trust me?" I asked in a mere whisper; side glancing Serena whose eyes were fixated on my slumped figure on the floor. I knew she wanted a lot of answers, and if she wanted to kill me also then I will give her the privilege to do so. After all, nothing can be as better as dying at the hands of the girl you love in the entire universe.

In simple words, she was my God. But I was a sinner for her. And I was sure I didn't deserve any forgiveness, not from her or anyone else.

Nathan threw himself in my arms, clinging to me tightly as if savoring my fragrance in his heart. With all these shocking happenings, surely his mind was also being traumatized as much as ours, but I knew I'll make up for all the wrongs.

"Come child. Let's go!" The father's encouraging voice made Nathan break the hug, while I kissed his soft knuckles and handed his hand to The Father who showed him the way out.

I heard the sniffles from my right, and standing up, I was greeted by the sight of a crying Serena.

Something broke inside me as she looked at me with plain hurt and fury.

I waited for her to react, and she exactly did; by wiping off her tears furiously. Then marching up to me, she watched me for a second, but the next second, my cheek was greeted with the angriest SLAP.

I wasn't even shocked at her reaction because I knew it will be something like this only, and honestly, if I was in her place, I won't be reacting any different towards myself than her.

"How dare you? How dare you to humiliate me this way, Daniel Price? Don't you have any shame? You think marriage is a game? Whenever you want you are going to force me, and whenever you want, you will discard me like a piece of trash? What the hell do you think of yourself?" She burst on me, clutching my collars tightly. Her angry gaze was peeling off my skin while her shivering hands indicated that how vulnerable she was at the moment.

She was shaking me up, wanting me to reply but I was only staring at her disheveled state. Why do I always end up hurting her? But I realized that it was no time to reel in the past, I have to reveal my intentions.

Removing her hands from my collars slowly, I forced her to move back from me while she flinched at the mere touch of my hot burning skin against her. I knew she realized that I was down with fever, in fact, a bad one for that matter but nothing can scare me away at that moment.

I was immune to all this physical pain; because the mental trauma I was trying to get rid, was much more than all of it.

Taking a deep breath, I began in a calm tone but yet it revealed power and authority.

"Before I answer you, I have three questions for you." Her eyes flickered for a moment as she was not able to comprehend my words, while her body posture reflected confusion as well as restlessness.

"What questions?" She asked facing me with strong determination and willpower. She crossed her arms over her slim chest, while her nostrils were flaring in anger.

Going around her in a circle, with both hands tugged inside my trouser pockets, I finally decided to enlighten her with some secrets.

"Question Number 1: If you hate me so much, then why did you took me to the hospital that night? Certainly, you shouldn't be worried about your enemy living or dying after you give him a piece of his mind, that he is a monster."

"Question Number 2: What are you hiding from me?"

"And final Question: Why did you agree to marry me? Given your character sketch, you are not someone who will get tamed by any arrogant jerk especially me, so why so much mercy?" I posed my final query, and her face began pale.

Sweat beads formed on her forehead, while she was clutching her dress in both fists on either of her sides. I knew when I denied marriage, these reasons were what she wasn't expecting at all. But I had my own ulterior motives here, and now she will know the depth of Daniel.

"What Happened darling? How is your four inches tongue not retorting me back?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm in my tone earning myself an infuriated look of the mighty Serena Waldorf.

"You have lost your head, Price. Just keep your stupid assumptions to yourself. You were, are, and will remain one…

Before she can complete it, I blurted on behalf of her, "One monster, one psycho, one devil, and blah blah, but yet this devil is madly in love with you. But in spite of all your hate and mockery, this devil considers you his lifeline."

Her angry eyes turned soft all of a sudden and she finally realized the intensity and sincerity of my words. I was lost in her only, when she had shifted her gaze away from me, and I knew that she was back to her hateful charade right there.

"If you are done with your fake and forceful wedding, then can I leave?" The frustration was clearly visible in her tone, but at that moment I could care less about it because there were bigger things to be discussed here.

"What's the hurry love? Why don't you examine this card first and then let's have some mature talk?" Taking out a visiting card from my suit pocket, I flashed it in front of her face while her eyes literally bulged out of the sockets.

I gave her a look which said that The- game- was-in- my- favor- now.

Smirking, I eyed her with raised brows while she gulped a lump down her throat, still trying to grasp the scenarios.

"It's not mine". That was all she managed to whisper. I laughed at her lies indicating to her clearly that I didn't believe her one bit. My laugh was filled with mock and hurt as well but I knew for sure that, she didn't notice the hurt.

Gaining my composure again, I gave her a serious look, and inquired a little angrily, "Then what the hell is this Most Famous New York Psychiatrist visiting card doing in your diary?"

She jumped back a little. Fear evident in her face, but I wasn't moving with it today. I have reached my saturation point, and today everything will be out.

"Okay, let's forget this card. Hope you remember the person.”

"John come in". I called for the famous Psychiatrist, who was the man people didn't want to visit because he wasn't just a doctor of the brain but a doctor of a demon who can twist and turn your entire system in such a way that you will be forced to face the truth.

In the start when I was hit by the tragedy, I did visit him for a month at Jenna's insistence, but after that I was a coward, to not attend the sessions because I was afraid that if the feeling of guilt leaves me, I will begin living my life normally which I didn't want. I wanted to feel that pang of pain always inside my ribcage.

Her horrified eyes got set on the tall man in his late thirties entering the room in his full glory. His rigid posture screamed a sense of pride, authority, power while there was a tiny fragment of a smile breaking upon his lips as his eyes met mine.

"So, I don't think there is any need of formal introduction, for you two. Is there Mr. Cavalli?" I gave him an evil smirk while he simply shook his head at me, knowing fully well that I was least bothered about introducing them when they already know the other.

"So, my dear ex- girlfriend cum future wifey, care to explain that what exactly is running in your mind to join hands with this doctor of demons to plan our breakup?" I inquired in a lazy tone battling my eyelashes sweetly at her while giving a furious look to John Cavalli.

"Ahh wait!" John scratched the back of his nape, giving me, a confused look and I knew that poor?" man was clueless.

"Serena is the girl about whom you have been talking about to me lately?" He asked me like he was encountering something strange.

Giving him a Curt look, crossing my arms over my chest, I added, "And I am the guy on whom my mighty darling took your advice.”

"I am sure as madly as she is in love with me, she wouldn't have revealed my name to you but my issues of insomnia, which drive me to the edge to act like a crazy possessive control freak lover. And like the God of demons, you are, Cavalli, you might have advised her to teach me a lesson to make me realize her worth in my life and as the bold and overly confident freak this woman is she used breakup as the measure to give me a piece of my mind. But too bad the plan is done right here". I revealed the entire mystery of my girl which wasn't so hard to estimate after I found the card in her diary, on the day I got Nathan back.

And the next day revelations of Jenna just confirmed everything for me.

The two occupants, beside me in the room looked at me wide-eyed especially Serena who so looked like the ground will swallow her. But I knew that teaching me her worth wasn't the only goal here. There were other things in this too, and she needs to confess them to me.

"You mean to say, you purposely didn't reveal the name of the girl two nights back?" John looked ready to murder me realizing that he got fooled by his ex-patient so badly.

"What do you think I did?" I retorted back with pride. Then jumping on the nearby bench I sat down, crossing my leg over the other, using my hands as a headrest, eyeing the two people with a blank look.

Serena whose head has hung down during my conversation with John, finally looked in my direction. Her eyes were welled up with big tears, pain and anguish were the permanent companion of her in that minute or maybe since the time, she left me.

"How did you even find my diary? And how's this all got connected to John?" She managed to ask in a mere whisper. It was the first sentence she spoke after everything that was happening around her. Hearing her cracking voice, I realized that as much as this has taken a toll on me, her situation wasn't any different.

"Intrigued are you, honey?" I kept my eyes closed now, while there was no change in my sitting state. With a deep sigh, I started to reveal my talks with John to her.

Past

It was 3 in the night when restless I got out of my bed. Checking up on Nathan, who was sleeping peacefully curled up in the mattress, I started to pace around the room not knowing anything other than to keep my mind off my past. I wonder whether life was always this critical for all or was I some special soul, who was confined to his own personal hell.

Running my hands through my messy hairs, frustrated I made my way out to my room balcony to take in the view of the city at this odd hour. It wasn't something I was fond of, but I did on a very random basis when nothing could calm me. And today was no exception after the confusing Discovery I made on account of Serena.

Questions after questions were swirling in my head, but the answer was nowhere to be found.

What was she hiding? That chain was the one I gave her on the completion of our three months together, and she was still wearing it. She wore it that day in the night as far as I could remember from the hazy images popping up in my mind. And she wore it today as well.

It was no ordinary chain. It was a chain of promise that no matter what happens we are never going to leave the other. Then isn't it absolutely mind messing coincidence that she happens to wear it even after our unexpected breakup.

I sat down on the velvet chair kept on the side, holding my head in my hands. The cool breeze was touching my face every now and then, but it didn't bother me, instead it was calming my mind a little with its strong intensity.

I sat there for an hour or so, reliving the times I and Serena sat here in the night, cuddling under the blanket enjoying the breeze and the beautiful view of the city. We never talked much when together, but our silence also played a vital role in our love story. It was like words weren't needed between us, but simply our hearts did the talking.

Annoyed at my own self for not being able to come up with something, I got up with a start and as soon as I was about to enter my room, I saw something hidden behind the big rose plants.

Curious, bending down I lifted the black bag up to only find Serena written on it.

"Why will she hide things this way?" It was my immediate response to my Discovery. But pushing aside that thought, I opened the bag to find Serena's diary, in it.

I remembered she loved writing about nature always. She was a very sharp yet thoughtful person for her own good. Unlike other girls, her interests were absolutely different and unique.

A girl in her late teens won't be admiring nature but would be enjoying in pubs but my Serena in her free time used to sit in front of these big rose plants and jolt down her heart.

With little shaky hands, I opened her diary, to only be greeted by her neat handwriting which stated: Serena Loves Daniel Forever.

A warm feeling coaxed inside me as I ran my fingers over our names. This girl loved me to mention us on the very first page then why will she leave me? But why is her diary hidden here?

Maybe she found it more convenient to keep her personal thoughts in between her favorite plant.

Before I can turn the pages further, the breeze blew them up and halted in between where a visiting card was resting, or many safely hidden.

"John Cavalli, The Psychiatrist," I read, and things started to seem pretty clear to me just by reading the name. The name wasn't new to me because through some twisted ways, in the initial years, Jenna thought I needed his help because I wasn't able to deal with the depression.

I was undergoing severe psychotic disorder which was self-destructive. But in a month, I couldn't continue it because I was required to relive the pain again to get over it, and I didn't want to do it. Since then, it turned into insomnia because I wouldn't let go of the past.

"Serena, you shouldn't have done this." I whispered taking out my cell and calling the man I never liked. It wasn't something personal, but his presence just irritated me and reminded me of so many ways in which I wasn't Perfect.

"John Cavalli, here. How may I help you?" I was greeted by his sleepy tone and I was sure, he would recognize me instantly.

"You never helped me in the past, how will you help me now, Cavalli?" I answered in a proud tone earning myself a deep amused chuckle.

"Please tell me, I am not having the honor of speaking to the bratty, and arrogant Daniel Price?" Shaking my head at his insult, I concentrated on my given motive rather than arguing over his words.

"And what if you are exactly speaking to the only patient you can never help?" I retorted back reminding him of the fact that he never could give me the solution to my problem.

"You pretty well know Price, that it was you who didn't wanted to be helped with. And I can't force anyone to let go off their issues until they want to. I told you this before, and I am telling you now also, that get over the guilt. Don't become self-destructive". His voice told me he was damn serious at that moment but ignoring the issue here, I thought to take his advice on the other matter.

But before I can utter something, he was back to his annoying self: "By the way, what made you call this beggar of a doctor in the middle of the night? I hope you know that you are insomnia affected, others in America do sleep."

"Keep your humor to yourself only, John. You are grown up man, not ten-year-old kid." I mocked pissed.

"Still the same bratty Price. Now buddy if you are done giving me class on growing up, mind telling me why I have the mercy of receiving your call that too, at this odd hour?" He mocked and inquired; smirking I decided to play my darlings game in my way.

"If I want to know whether someone loves me or not, what do I do?" I asked in a strict tone not at all giving him the hint about Serena otherwise I was sure, the news will reach her soon.

For few seconds I wasn't greeted by any answer, but as I heard him sigh, I knew he was on the line.

"Why Cavalli, no answer today? I am shocked that the Doctor of demons is speechless today". My tone might be mocking but I knew John would have already analyzed the desperation in it.

"You are in love?"

"Yes! But she left me".

"Reason being your lack of trust in her or yourself?"

"Both".

"Daniel, I have told you this before also that by punishing yourself for things you aren't responsible for, won't get you anywhere. And that is the reason you are still not able to come out of the phase that happened years ago. You deserve love, you are capable of trusting as well as being trusted by all, then what makes you doubt yourself and the people who love you?" I know his words were true, but at this time it wasn't about me, it was about Serena.

"How do you know that her love was true for me?"

"If it wasn't true, you won't be desperate to know that whether she still loves you or not. That means, you have somewhat idea that, the girl you love still has feelings for you, and you want to get confirmation on it." His reply was instant and there I knew the reason for his success. This man can understand the issues with voice and tone only.

"What do I do?"

"Well, something that will tell you that you still reside in her heart. Maybe something unexpected which she isn't thinking now, but shock or surprise her and you will somehow find your destination already.”

I scratched my forehead a little and inquired again, "You sound so sure that she loves me, and if I do something unexpected, I will know my answer. How?"

"You know Daniel, we doctors are not given the degrees for nothing. We gain expertise in our fields, then only we work as independent organization to serve people. And in your case, I might not have met you for years or even known the girl's name, but I do know that you aren't a selfish man who will be despised for no reason. And if your girl has left you, then either she wants you to understand yourself or she is actually done with you. But I will go with the former option because I myself have experienced your difficult attitude. So, I can't blame the poor girl, you know!" He answered genuinely but I didn't miss his sarcastic tone in the end.

Damn you, John!

"Whatever! You were irritating in past, and you are even now. So, I will hang up". I said pissed and in response, I only heard his stupid laughter.

"Wasn't expecting a better thanks than this, Price!" He hanged up chuckling while I glared at my phone screen wanting to hit him so bad.

How can this man always manage to annoy the shit out of me despite being so older than me?

My subconscious snapped at me, but ignoring it, I knew what needs to be done now.

It was time I tame Ms. Waldorf now!

Present

Opening my eyes, I saw Serena and John standing at their places with shocked looks while I had the smile of victory.

"And next morning, I managed to scare Jenna to reveal your little tempting ploy, and she did, afraid that I will kick her out of her job. You know darling, I am amazed at the level of your love for me, and whatever doubts I had, you managed to kick them away like a football being kicked away by the keeper. But the thing is, you still manage to make a goal." I revealed further with my love visible right in my eyes for her. I knew nothing can be better proof, than my eyes for her to see, how much I love her.

"I think I should leave!" John started seeing both of us lost in the other's eyes. I nodded at him, and he scurried out leaving us alone once again.

With a serious expression etched on my face, I now walked up to a pale-looking Serena. She was rooted to her spot; her limbs rigid in her body whilst her beautiful eyes were filled with unshed tears.

Approaching her, I cupped her both cheeks, and began in an emotional tone, "I will never do marriage of force with you, because I can never make you compromise with your self-respect and pride. It would have always been marriage of love between us. But I know I am not the best man for you, Serena. And you were right, that I had no right to control your freedom because I am a scared coward bastard who doesn't want to trust anyone. Not even himself. I understand now how much you love me, to even sacrifice your honor for me by agreeing to marry me. But I am not that monster who will let you do that mistake."

Her hand came above mine, as she stroked my knuckles. Tears have finally started to flow from our eyes.

"But I won't let my past destroy you. I have made my decision and it's for the best." I added staring at her intently. She stood there perplexed. I kissed her forehead, letting my lips linger on her skin for longer while her hold on my wrist now tightened.

Moving my lips to the corner, of her forehead, I kissed her temples gently. Her body was shaking up a little, while her lips were quivering. Seeing her eyes shut, while tears cascaded down from them, I moved my lips on her cheeks sucking every shred of tear away. It was like I was healing our aching souls that were burdened with the agony of our separation.

I was about to seal her lips with mine, but as I realized that it shouldn't happen, like a lightning force, I moved back from her, giving her my back.

Closing my eyes, I stood there in a dilemma, but no sooner, I felt her soft arms wrapping around my torso whilst her cheek was pressed against my back.

"I never broke up with you, for teaching you any lesson, but to make you understand that no matter what happens, you are irreplaceable in my life. I want you to move on Daniel. I can't see you trapped in the shell of Carolina. I can't.....," She broke down in tears still hugging me from behind and I wasn't surprised to hear her because I somehow expected it.

Despite the hurt I had caused her with my immature decisions, she was here crying for me, but I had to steal my heart for what needs to be done.

And there I spoke in the final stern tone.

You are not going to see me Serena from now onwards!

What???