Chapter 77 David Is All I Need
I kiss him back eagerly, the relief flooding through my body. He still wants me. He wants to stay. This is the chance to fix things.
I rush to undo the rest of his buttons as his tongue delves into my mouth, his hands coming back to my face, holding me as close to him as he can. When I start to push his shirt over his shoulders, he takes his hands away to help get rid of it, then he stands and starts undoing his belt buckle.
I run my hands through his hair as he works to remove his clothes as quickly as possible, and before I know it, he is leaning over me, making me sit back, each of his hands coming either side of the tub, crowding me, as he steps in.
The moment he sits down, his hands are on my waist, pulling me forward onto his lap. I crash into his chest, the kiss not losing its momentum for a second. The water swirls around us, and I hear some of it splash onto the floor, but neither of us gives a damn. One of his hands comes to the back of my head so that he can kiss me deeper, his other hand coming to the middle of my back, pressing me closer against his chest.
I kiss him again and again, my desire for him taking over and acting for me. I need him closer. I need to show him how I feel. I need more.
I reach between our bodies, my hand slipping down his chest, his stomach, until I feel… his boxers. Why is he still wearing his boxers?!
We break away from the kiss, foreheads resting against each other, both of us panting, and I open my eyes. But he is the first to speak.
“We’re not having sex right now.” He whispers. All at once, the rush of anger floods through me, taking me back to our previous arguments.
He senses me going to move away, and his hands slide up to my hair, grabbing handfuls of it in his fists, soaking it in the water from his fingers, and he licks his bottom lip.
“Listen to me first.” He growls, making my breath hitch in my throat.
“Are you going to stay?” I retaliate, the paranoid thought whizzing through my brain. I have just got him back, just got him here, and nothing feels certain anymore.
“I’m never making the mistake of leaving you again.” He replies, before crashing his lips back to mine. I moan into his mouth, his admission making my blood run hot. The hand he has in my hair falls to the back of my neck, guiding my head to the side as he kisses down the side of my neck. “But I’m also not going to take advantage of you.”
“David, please, I need–” I whine.
“You need to process what’s happened today.” He interrupts, moving his face back up to mine to look me in the eyes. “We need to talk about things. Not just jump into bed together.”
“We’re not in bed.” I breathe.
“Nora.” He warns, following it with a gentle bite to my neck, making me gasp as his hands run over my back.
“Okay…” I whimper. “Okay I’m… listening.”
“I have never regretted anything more than the morning I left you at Sel’s.” He mutters against my skin, placing tiny soft kisses to my neck in between his words, something about not looking me in the eyes making it easier to admit. “Or when I shouted at you. I should never have made you leave here in the first place.”
“Dav…” I pant, head rolling back. “It’s…”
“Don’t you dare say it’s okay.” He growls, the vibration of his voice shooting through my skin, deep into my bones. “I didn’t listen to you. I took my anger out on you. And you didn’t deserve that, darling.”
I whimper in response, looking down and trying to chase his mouth with mine, but his grip on my neck is strong, and holds me back. At least this time he is looking straight up at me.
“I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.” He continues, his hands moving to my thighs, gripping me tight and pulling me as close to him as he can, making my face feel warm, his actions and his words the perfect duo. “I will never let that happen again. I am never letting you go, ever again.”
I can’t take it anymore.
I grab his face and kiss him as hard as I can. He lets me for a little while, wrapping his other arm around my waist, holding me in place as his hands run up and down my body, like he can’t bear not touching me for a second. Eventually his hands come up to either side of my neck, to my jaw, his thumb running over my bottom lip. He stares up at me.
He has already said so much, and yet it feels like he wants to say more. I can see it on his face. The worry. The hesitancy. The regret. I don’t want to see it on his face anymore.
Reaching my hand up, I graze my fingers over the lines in his face, smoothing out the frown in his eyebrows, the cuts he acquired today, the scar on his jaw. He breathes patiently while he contentedly watches me explore. He takes in every inch of me, every inch of my face, admiring and taking in my beauty.
When I finally look back into his eyes, he feels at peace.
He brings my mouth back to his, kissing me slowly. Deeply. Making the fire roar in my abdomen just as quickly as it had before. The water around us keeps us warm, but David is keeping me hot.
When the kiss starts to gain speed, gain urgency, he sits forward suddenly, making me rush to grip his shoulders. His hands find my hips, and twist my body around, so that I am facing away from him now. Before I can question it, his arms wrap around my stomach and he tugs me backwards, flush against him, his mouth trailing up my neck towards my ear. His hands lightly trail over my stomach, not with the intention of making me more antsy, but having that effect anyway. He ignores the way I have to clench my thighs together to stop myself from grabbing him and taking what I really want.
“I never realised how much shit you had been through before you’d even met me, darling.” He says to me. “And I didn’t make it any easier, did I?”
I decide not to respond.
“I can see now how much you had to protect yourself, what you had to protect yourself from.” He continues. “I hope that you can forgive me for not understanding.”
“David–”
“I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.” He whispers, his lips softly kissing me just below my earlobe. “If you’ll let me.”
Twisting my head, I meet his lips with an intense kiss.
I can’t verbalise how I feel, how he is making me feel, how much I want to just fuck him and show him, but know that it wouldn’t make my chest feel any lighter. My emotions are all over the place, trying to control my body for me. While David keeps the kiss deep and slow, my hands are itching to grab him, to flip over and grind into him.
He moves his lips to my shoulder, allowing me space to breathe. One of his hands runs up the side of my body, purposefully avoiding my breast, following the line down my arm until he can tangle his fingers with mine. Wrapping my arm across my body, his arm laying on top of it and keeping me in place, he keeps kissing my shoulder and my neck, until I finally roll my head back, relaxing into him.
For a few seconds, the stress of today washes away. The turmoil of understanding what my father did disappears. My mother, Rhys, the killings.
For a few seconds, I allow David to alleviate the pain. His body anchored against my back, his arm around my chest, I feel safe. Secure. He’s right – sex wouldn’t have had this effect. Even if my skin feels like it is on fire with how much I want it, it isn’t what I need.
David is what I need.
When the water goes cold, he leads me out of the bath, wraps me gently in a fluffy towel and leads me to bed.
This time, David doesn’t leave in the morning.