Chapter 50 I Refuse To Lose You Now
Towering over me as our mouths separate, he smiles at me looking up at him in confusion. It is his turn to lead, pushing into me in strong, hard strokes, his hand leaving my neck and moving to the bed beside me, supporting him as he starts kissing down my neck.
"Are those your demands, Doll?" He mutters into my neck. "That I spend more time fucking you?"
"That's not the only thing I said." I breathe back, smiling as my eyes close at the sensation of his tongue trailing over my skin.
"Uh uh," He tuts, his mouth going dangerously close to my nipple. "One step at a time, Doll."
I hum in response, willing to play his game for a moment, and allowing myself to sink into the bed as the waves of pleasure roll through me with each thrust. Sliding my hands round his waist to his back, I feel each muscle move as he snaps his hips to me, and I dig my fingernails into his skin.
Moaning loudly into the air as he fucks me again and again, he finally starts to slow down, just enough to make me lift my head up to look at him.
"What are you doing?" I ask, making him just chuckle as he pulls his mouth away from my neck to look at me.
"I'm giving you what you wanted." He replies, before clenching his teeth and pushing into me with one hard, deep thrust. "And yet, you're still complaining. It's very disrespectful."
"David!" I groan as the feeling spears through me, making me suddenly need to grab him more, pulling him closer, trying to crash my mouth to his.
He holds himself back, watching me scramble for some kind of relief, choosing instead to keep fucking me in slow, harsh strokes, each one making me louder and louder.
"You are so needy, so desperate, aren't you Doll?" He teases, his smile growing wider at each of my failed attempts of pulling him down, while he keeps his mouth just out of my reach.
"David please…" I whimper, the spiralling, overwhelming need I feel for him searing through my body, while the steady, almost passive way he is fucking me is doing nothing to quell it. Moving my hands to his waist, hips, I try to tug to tell him to go faster, harder, but he retaliates in the opposite way.
He pulls out of me, making me moan loudly from a mixture of discontent and unfulfilled desire. Then he sits back on his knees, grabs my hips, and rolls me over onto my stomach. Before I can even process the movement, he slams his cock back inside me, causing a loud cry to burst from my lips.
This time, he starts fucking me hard. And fast. I bury my head into the sheets, the material crushing in my hands as I fist them, trying to breathe in between his thrusts.
"Do you want to know why I haven't touched you?" He growls into my ear, the sound shivering down my spine. "It's because every time I look at you, I'm reminded that some assholes dared to even try and take a shot at you."
He threads his fingers through my hair and sharply tugs my head up. The prickle in my scalp makes me gasp, but his body pressing down on my back, his breath on my ear, the snap of his hips as he thrusts into me over and over, makes me throb around his cock.
"And I won't fucking rest," He continues in a whisper. "Until they pay for putting you in danger."
"David, I…" I pant. "I get… that but… that's not my fault… you can't ignore me while you're… oh fuck!"
My sentence trails off into a loud whimper as he speeds up, whether to stop me from talking, or from his own emotions taking over. Either way, it sets my body on fire, making me limp as his hold on me tightens, feeling my back, my forehead starting to sweat.
It’s a few seconds before I can catch my breath enough to speak again.
"You… said…" I speak. "That once we crossed… shit.... when we crossed this line… that I'd be yours, right?"
"What is your point, Doll?" He mutters, his mouth now attacking my neck, adding yet another overwhelming sensation to the mix.
"That… if you meant that, you need to do it." I reply breathily. "Let me be yours, let me be involved and–"
Suddenly, his hands are sliding round my waist, making me yelp as he pulls my body upright, sitting up on his knees and slamming me against his chest. He grinds his hips into me as I clutch onto his hands for balance, his fingers digging into my stomach and his teeth sinking into my shoulder.
"You want to be involved?" He grunts as he starts licking up my neck. "You want to know what I'm going to do once I find them?"
"I… God.." I moan, arching into his hold as he lazily pumps into me, keeping me on the precipice of euphoria.
"I am going to torture them." He whispers into my ear. "I'm going to break every, single bone in their body, until they are begging me to stop. And then, if they still don't tell me what I want to know, I'm going to put my knife to their throat, and slowly drag it across, watching the life spill from their eyes inch by fucking inch."
The words he is saying are terrifying. I know that.
But it’s the way he says them that makes my blood feel like it is on fire. It’s the way he is whispering it into my ear while he fucks me, that is making me moan uncontrollably. Especially as now, his hand has made its way to my own neck, gripping it tight as he speaks, the lack of oxygen with the heat licking up my spine making my core pulse, spiralling me closer and closer to the edge.
He feels my body tense, my breaths getting shallower beneath his palm, and he knows exactly where it is heading. He decides to push it a little more.
"And you know what else, Doll?" He continues. "I'm going to cut off every single fucking finger and mail it back to their boss one at a time until they get the message not to fucking touch what's mine ever again."
Only a split second of my loud whimper can be heard before his hand leaves my neck and clamps over my mouth.
Then he starts pounding into me, hard enough to make all the air escape from my lungs, and my eyes roll back, my noises muffled by his palm. My body is shuddering from the impact of his hips slamming into mine, the possessive way he is holding me to him, my muscles tensing as the orgasm starts rushing over me.
I squirm, gasp, squeeze my eyes shut as my climax bursts through me, completely overwhelmingly, spreading through each of my limbs. I have no energy to scream, to swear, anything.
He keeps fucking me, faster now, not allowing me to relax until his cock throbs, pulsing with his own orgasm a few seconds after mine. He pushes into me a few more times, albeit with less energy than before, until he finally, gently, lays me back down onto the bed, my eyes automatically closing in exhaustion.
I vaguely feel him kiss my shoulder, before sinking onto the bed beside me, letting out a loud exhale.
There is a minute of silence, where I just succumb to the blissful afterglow of my orgasm.
Then, David speaks.
"I didn't mean to make you feel unwanted, Nora." He whispers into the air.
It takes me a few seconds to process what he's said, and when I have, I blink my eyes open, and start to shift, aiming to sit up on the bed.
Instead, he rolls onto his side, wraps his arm across my back and slides me closer to him, my chests pressed together as he kisses my forehead. I breathe in deeply, his usual scent carrying a layer of sweat, but it is still comforting to me.
"I know you're trying your best to find them," I reply, resting my face on his chest as I feel him breathe. "But you can't keep me at arms length because of that."
"I know," He sighs, his other hand reaching up to absentmindedly run his fingers through my hair. "I'm sorry for that. It just feels like I can't relax until…"
I look up at him, resting my chin on his chest, watching him stare at the ceiling.
"We've been back in the apartment for eight days. But you have barely been in the room," I explain. "If I'm all in with you, you need to be all in with me."
He looks down at me, and I can see his mind struggling.
"I'm just trying to protect you." He says.
"Ignoring me isn't protecting me. It's just pissing me off." I counter, making him smile just a little. "Also makes me wonder if you are regretting us–"
He cuts me off by kissing me. Deep. Passionate.
When he finally slows down, and pulls back, he looks me in the eyes.
"I will never regret you." He says, truthfully, sternly, a sentence so simple, yet it still has the power to make my heart feel like it is going to burst out of my chest. "But I have never brought someone into this life before. I need some time to work it all out."
"I told you I'm fine, I'm all in, you don't need to worry about me at all." I reason.
"Maybe. But we've already taken our time to get here, and I refuse to lose you now."
I nod in response, finding I am unable to voice anything at that moment that would accurately describe how I feel. So I just lean forwards, capturing his lips in another kiss, and hope that he understands what I am unable to say.