Chapter 32 I'm Not Your Sub
By the time Thursday rolls around, it has yet again been another few days where David hasn’t so much as touched me. It seems to be the new dynamic – I get close, do something, and then he needs a few days to cool off, and not be around me. The fact that we still haven’t slept in the same room is weird too. Almost as weird as the fact that we haven’t had sex yet, after all these months. Despite the fact that it is the one thing I want to do.
It makes working at the office very tricky. It makes living together very tricky as well.
It makes me confused on where I stand with him.
The last we spoke about it, we were giving this a go, as in me and him being together. And yet, nothing has really happened that screams ‘relationship’. Even the fun banter I used to have before is gone, replaced by simple conversations, intense stares, and not seeing each other for hours.
So tonight, I have a newly discovered determination to set everything straight. To put my feelings on the line and see what he says back.
While I’m in my bedroom, I hear him come back, his footsteps echoing outside my door, until it sounds like he’s heading into the study. I wait for 10 minutes, then decide to investigate.
Walking around the apartment as casually as I can, I look into each room that is open, seeing if I can spot him.
The absence of his figure, and the silence surrounding me tells me that he is definitely in his study.
With that decided, I walk over, not even bothering to knock before walking in. His head snaps up from staring at the paperwork on his desk.
“Nora?” He asks, as I shut the door behind me and walk over. “Back to not knocking, are we?”
“We have things to discuss, Mr. Reid.” I state, putting my hands on the desk when I approach it, and leaning on them.
“Do we?” He counters, throwing his pen down and leaning back in his chair as he stares at me. “By all means, share your agenda.”
I narrow my eyes at the smirk on his lips, and I push myself off the desk, standing straight and folding my arms over my chest.
“Are we together or not?” I query, bluntly, and relish in how his face falls in response. “Because I genuinely can’t tell, and it’s starting to piss me off to be honest.”
His eyes harden at my words, and I see his jaw tense as he thinks over his answer.
After a few seconds, he holds out his hand and beckons me to come closer.
When I don’t move, he raises an eyebrow.
Dropping my arms from my chest, I slowly walk around the desk, then hesitantly slide my hand into his. He tugs, pulling me into him, and making me fall into his lap.
“David!” I squeal as I fall into him, but he grabs my thigh and manoeuvres me expertly to lay a knee either side of his hips, then wraps his arms around my waist.
“Where is this coming from?” He asks, looking up at me intently, as I exhale loudly to recover from the movement.
“It’s coming from the fact I’ve barely spoken to you in four days.” I huff in reply.
“I’ve been busy.”
“You’re always busy. But ever since we started… this,” I gesture between us. “You’ve been outright avoiding me.”
“Was I avoiding you in the kitchen last weekend?” He quips, making my body flush with heat at the memory. “At the office?”
“That’s not what I mean–”
“Then tell me what you mean.”
I inhale, trying to think of how to word it in a way that wouldn’t come across as petty.
“We used to have a good relationship, before you found out about the Red Room, before I found out about your Mobster life.” I start, and he fights a smile. “But since we found out the truth, it’s like… we spend time together, then you leave me alone for half the week. It’s confusing, and I don’t know why you keep going off.”
I realise that by the time I’ve stopped speaking, I have been absentmindedly fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. The only reason I realise that, is because David’s hand appears over mine, stopping my movements, and making me look back at him.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel insecure.”
“I’m not insecure. I’m–”
“Insecure about us. I know full well that you are not insecure about yourself.” He grins. It makes me want to mirror him, but my face remains uncertain. “I meant when I said we’d take it slow. About relearning everything about you. But, that was more for me, than it was for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nora, have you ever seen me in a relationship?”
I think about it, and shake my head no.
“And that isn’t a new thing. I’ve not had a relationship, a real one, for a very long time. Between my jobs and my various … interests, it’s not easy to find someone who’s on-board with it all.”
“I thought it was obvious that I am though?”
“Doesn’t mean that my worries disappear.” He counters, reaching up with one hand to brush some hair behind my ear. “I’m still trying to figure out how much of that lifestyle I can comfortably expose you to, and where the line is between us and my organisation. Between us and the Red Room.”
“I thought there was no line.”
“Nora, of course there’s a line. And once we cross it, there’s no going back. It’s harder to get out of this life, than it is to get into it.”
“You think that I would have stayed if you being in the Mob bothered me? You think I’d have made exceptions for you at the Red Room if I didn’t crave the way you touch me while we were there?”
The way his arm tightens on my waist, it tells me that he certainly hasn’t thought about it that way.
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me, Mr. Reid?” I question, in a soft, soothing voice, leaning forward and flattening my hands on his chest. “Because you didn’t think I was all in?” I start placing gentle, feather-light kisses on his jaw, down his neck, as he breathes underneath me.
“You say that now… but–”
“But nothing.” I interrupt, moving back up to look him in the eyes. “I would have told you by now if I couldn’t handle it. The only issue I have is when you avoid me.”
“Well now that I know that…” He breathes as his hands start sliding around my waist. “Maybe next time I can ask you to help me deal with my little problem.”
“What problem?” I ask, as he licks his bottom lip.
“The fact that every time I look at you, I want to bend you over my desk and fuck you until you lose count of how many times you cum.”
My mouth parts as I exhale shakily, his words crashing through my body and making me feel hot. Desperately hot. And suddenly, very very turned on.
“Then do it.” I reply, my fingers tightening in his shirt. His eyes shoot down to my lips, then back up to my eyes, and his hands start to withdraw from my body.
“Not tonight.” He answers, and the desire running through my body quickly dissolves into anger.
I step backwards, off his chair, pulling my clothes right.
“I won’t wait forever.” I snap, spinning on my heel to walk out of the door.
“You’ll wait as long as I want you to.” Comes his words from behind me, making me freeze before I’ve even touched the handle. “Don’t try to pretend that you’re suddenly in charge here.”
I slowly turn to face him, a wicked smile starting to creep over my lips.
“Oh but Mr. Reid, we aren’t at the Red Room anymore. So those rules no longer apply.”
"I'm not your sub." He points out, his eyes narrowing at me.
"When you first asked for me, neither was I." I quip, making his tongue peek out of his mouth to lick his bottom lip. "So maybe you need to be a little more open minded, Sir."