39. IN LOVE WITH HIM.
“You know a conversation could make things less awkward”
Luke’s voice broke the silence in the room they were in. He had a paint brush in his hands and an unfinished canvas in front of him. After convincing her to try painting in the institute, she’d rendered him to a complete silence. Her eyes only on the art in front of her. Luke cleared his throat, and even at his words—she was still quiet.
“Hey” He dropped the brush to the table.
And Olivia rolled her eyes. “You could try to make it seem like i didn’t force you all the way here” His words were lethal now, and there was some level of seriousness that arched his brows. “It’s not about that” She replied flatly, avoiding his eye contact.
“Then what is it about?”
“Because if you say the kiss—“ He paused, lowering his voice as he said that last part. “If you say the kiss, then i’m not sure how much more convincing i can make to prove to you that it isn’t going to happen again. How much you want me to say” He added almost as if he was raising his voice.
“I’m not sure what else you want.”
“But i hate to see one drunken mistake ruin what we have between us” Liv took slower strokes on her canvas, painting what was before her and he scoffed, at the last of attention he was giving her. “I can’t with you” He shrugged his shoulders.
“I wasn’t drunk” Her words seethed through his ears. “But it was a mistake, right?” He panted. “You said it was a mistake, and that mistakes don’t happen twice, you said that” She pulled away from her painting, finally raising her eyes to look at him.
“Was it?” Came the simplest question which had rendered him silent and a breath escaped his lips. “It was?” He replied only after a while in a questioning tone. “You said that, not me” He added and Liv let out a scoff. “It’s all i’ve thought about ever since. It’s all i can think about” She whispered.
Luke pushed a lump down his throat.
“And mistakes shouldn’t be this burdening”
“Actually they should” He replied. “It isn’t me kissing you that’s burdening, it’s the guilt” He said and their eyes met again. “Guilt of what?” She echoed and he shrugged his shoulders.
“I don’t want anything—“ He paused. “I dont want anything to change between us because this, this is honestly a breath of fresh air and i feel guilt as well, not for kissing you but for the fact that it maybe did change something between us”
“Of course it did” She heaved a deep sigh. “Of course it did, i fell in love with your brother up until what, yesterday?” And Luke’s lips fell open. He wasn’t sure why news like that came as shock to him—it was Damien of course. But he thought Liv was different, perhaps the only woman resistant to his charm.
His enveloping darkness, and aura. He thought she was repellent but i guess he was wrong. And sensing his surprise, Liv heaved in a deep breath. “The same man i’d have to marry by next month because now the burden of saving your father’s company is on my shoulders as well. And i can’t screw it up, i can’t back away”
“Luke, it’s just too complicated. And i’m trying not to further mess things up. This—“ She pulled away. “All of this was never about Damien because i realized i was done, and i haven’t offered him a single thought since Vienna. I fell in love with him, like an idiot and uhm he didn’t love me back” Luke swallowed a lump down his throat, remembering Damien’s words from the last night.
“I want serious, i want what she wants and it took me a little while to realize that.”
And he cleared his throat, as Liv repeated those words. “No matter how much i wanted him to, he just didn’t love me back and i’m done and uhm there you were” She scoffed, her eyes turning glassy in a second. “There you were offering me everything that i wanted and uhm but uhm—you’re his brother. And you’re in college.” Liv sniffled. He leaned forward, choosing not to say anything about Damien or what he said last night.
“When is that such a bad thing?”
“It’s a bad thing when it has the tendency to ruin the entire plan” She replied and Luke scoffed. “Why do you care so much for a company that fired you?” He asked and she looked to him. “Damien and i go way back, like terrifyingly way back and to might not love him but i do care about him. What he’s doing, it’s for a good cause and besides i knew Hank” Luke hummed.
“Not because you’re still in love with my brother?” He added and Liv let go of the brush. Her shoulders fell. “I’m—I’m not in love with Damien anymore. Not that it’s any of your business, Luke”
“You call me like i’m a child. Like i’m a teenager” He whispered, but with a low husky voice and Liv leaned towards him. “Aren’t you?” He backed away. “You’re nineteen” She added.
“And you’re twenty one.” He argued. “When is that such a bad thing?” He added and she scoffed. “You’re in college.”
“Not anymore”
She looked to him and he pushed a lump down his throat. “I quit. I dropped out” He said so nonchalantly that she could tell neither Damien or Amanda had no idea. “What’s the point of learning accounting for a company i never want to head?” She asked. “It was what Hank wanted, what Amanda wanted. All my life, it’s always about what people wanted because i was young. I was small and i was underestimated a lot” He chuckled softly and Liv looked up at him.
“I get that a lot” She whispered and he took a sip of the drink that was next to him on the table. “We have so much in common” He replied and she rolled her eyes. “You know for someone trying to convince me that kiss was a mistake, you’re doing a terrible job” She scoffed and he did as well.
“I never said it was. You did”
“I’m only there to make it believable” He whispered and Liv sat up in her chairs. “What does that mean?” She replied and Luke leaned forward, turning his disastrous painting to her, and ignoring her last question. Her eyes fell on the void that was a dark hole.
“It’s time.” He whispered.
“Let me see yours”
Her hands held around the edges of her canvas before she slowly turned to him. His brows arched, trying to make out the figure before him. “What is that?” He asked, and she added one stroke that was a missing arm and it all make sense.
“This is me” She cleared her throat and he watched a smile form on her lips. “And this is my father on Hillwood, and these are the stars” She whispered. “We always watched the stars when i was young like we did that night” She pushed a lump down her throat.
“That night we kissed” He whispered and their eyes locked. She darted them back to her painting and the smile vanished from her lips. “He would have been fifty today.”
“Would have?” Luke echoed, before it occurred to him. “Lost him a few years to an accident. More than a few years ago” She let out a brief scoff. “I’m so sorry” He blurted out, and she placed her brush next to the canvas. “Actually, don’t be. It’s okay” She replied and he reached for her hands across the table.
“Accept it. Accept my condolences” He smirked and she scoffed. “I know you’re programmed to not need anyone, to not ask for help or accept help but you don’t have to do this on your own. You never have to do this on your own because i’m here” He said, and that, he managed to convince her. Her eyes went up to him as tears welled up in her eyes. It wasn’t long until they fell, and his palms enveloped hers.
She cupped her chin. “Thank you” She muttered. “I’m always here, Liv” And she nodded. “Now, let’s get you home” Came a shrill whisper passing through her ears. He held her up, realizing after only a while that they’d spent the entire day here—
—from scanning the exhibits like a middle aged married couple, to painting in a private studio. He grasped both paintings in his left hand, and held unto her with his right. God, she was even more beautiful when she cried but Luke swore to himself it would be the last time he’d ever see her cry again.
She fell into him, allowing his warmth enclasp her very being. She shot her eyes as they paused next to the elevator. And all that went through her mind, was not only how safe she felt whenever Luke held her this way but also how she never wanted to leave.
To be continued…