CHAPTER 164

CHAPTER 164
The emergency room doors slam open, and Sebastian is wheeled in on a stretcher, blood soaking through it. Nurses shout orders, and a doctor runs alongside the gurney, pressing down on the wound.

“BP dropping! Get me an IV—now!”

Lucas stands frozen at the entrance, his feet cemented to the floor. His body covered in dirt and blood—Sebastian’s blood.  He watches helplessly as they disappear behind the double doors, taking the only person who has made him feel like he's worth giving the world to and worth saving.

The moment the doors shut, Lucas breaks down, and he lets go of everything he has been holding back.

His knees buckle, and he collapses against the wall, slowly sliding down, his back hitting the cold surface as he curls. Into himself, his arms wrapping around his legs, holding them to his chest, and he buries his face.

The sobs start slow, his body shaking violently as panic, guilt, and angst sweep through him.

Everything around him is quiet except for the sounds of the hospital—distant beeping, footsteps, and murmured voices—while in Lucas’s head, there's chaos.

His shirt is soaked, his hands are trembling, and his face is streaked with fresh tears, sweat, and blood, but he doesn't care for how he looks; the image of Sebastian cold on the floor, floating in his pool of blood, motionless, dying. He had never thought he would see Sebastian like that, and it's all his fault. Lucas doesn't think he can ever forgive himself or survive it if something happens to Sebastian.

He can't imagine it. It's not going to happen. Sebastian is strong; he's going to pull through this, right?

Lucas doesn't know how long he stayed like that, the blood and tears drying up on his skin; it could have been minutes or hours. The world around him just feels unreal, blurred, and far away.

Suddenly, he hears running footsteps, causing him to lift his head to see his mother, sister, and Sebastian's adopted father sprinting towards him, and there go the tears he thought had dried up. He guess not

“Lucas!”

His mother calls, and suddenly, she's beside him, kneeling beside him and gathering him in her arms. “Oh my God. What happened? Are you okay?” 

Lucas blinks at her with tears rolling down in heavy drops, then he looks past her to the man behind Cassie, Seth's father.

The moment their eyes meet, something inside of Lucas snaps and cracks open. He leaves his mother's side and crawls over to the man on his knees, holding the side of his pants while his cries ring out throughout the hallway.

“I'm so sorry,” Lucas cries brokenly, his body shaking violently. “I am so, so sorry. It's all my fault. You should hate me. I-” he struggles to breathe through the loud sob. “Everything is my fault. I killed them: Trent, Lucien, Sebastian—I killed them all. I'm sorry!” 

“Oh, Lucas!” his mother clasps her hands over her mouth to hold back her own eyes as her eyes shine with tears.

The man simply stares down at him, lips pressed into a thin line, and his face unreadable.

“I don't deserve your forgiveness,” Lucas continues. “I don't. If I hadn't been so foolish and weak, if I  hadn't fallen for the wrong person. If I had been a little braver, Sebastian or Trent would have gotten hurt. Sebastian walked alone. I couldn't stop him, I couldn't save him, I m-I’m…”

Lucas halts as he finds it difficult to breathe. His mother goes to him and wraps her arm around him. 

“Lucas, baby, stop; don't do this. Sebastian is going to be fine.” 

Lucas hides his face in his mother's chest, wailing. “He was bleeding so much. I tried to stop it, I swear I tried, but I-I-I couldn't. I'm so pathetic and weak, Mom. I hate myself so much. I wish it were me in that operation; I wish it were me in Trent's place. None of them deserved it!” 

“It’s not your fault,” his mother chants the words to make him feel better, stroking his hair, but Lucas's tears continue to soak through her shirt, and that's the only thing that can be heard in the alley, Lucas's bloody cries.

Minutes later, the doors of the emergency room finally open, and a doctor steps out. Everyone jumps to their feet, Lucas immediately crowding in on the man.

“How is he? Please tell me he's fine!” Lucas demands till his mother pulls him back.

The doctor removes his mask, his expression tired. “We managed to get all the bullets out. There was a lot of internal bleeding in the chest, and his legs could have been damaged if he had been brought in later. We stabilized him during surgery.”

“So, he's alright?” 

Lucas wants to breathe out in relief, but the doctor shakes his head. 

“He lost a lot of blood, the injuries are too deep, and he has fallen into a deep coma. Right now, we don't know when or if he's going to ever wake up again.” 

As soon as the words leave the doctor's mouth, the silence that follows is deafening.

Lucas stumbles against the wall, and Cassie reaches for him, but he can barely feel her touch as tears fill his eyes again.

“He's stable for now; you can see him, but one at a time. He's in the ICU. We will let you know if there's any change,” the doctor adds, and then he leaves.

Sebastian is the first to leave, wanting to see his son and his mother, with Cassie following, but Lucas doesn't move.

He slides down to the floor again, and he stays like that, staring blankly into the space ahead like it might somehow undo everything. Maybe it can take him back in time, back to when he first met Lucien and change everything, maybe kill the bastards before he ruins everything, but Lucas can't.

Again, Lucas doesn't know how long he has been sitting there. Time passes, nurses and doctors walk by, the lights flicker once, twice, and the air gets cold; he shivers.

Lucas doesn't look up when a shadow falls on him until a familiar voice speaks.

“Hey.”

Slowly, he lifts his head. It's Ciel.

He looks tired, like he hasn't slept in days. His clothes are wrinkled, his eyes are red like he's been crying, and his white hair can barely be called white anymore.

Without saying anything else, Ciel slowly sits on the floor beside Lucas. Just like that, no questions, no pity, just two heartbroken people with fear and panic in their hearts.

The silence stretches long before Ciel finally breaks it. 

“How's Seb?”

Lucas lets out a bitter laugh, his head hitting the wall. “He was shot three times. Two on both his legs and the other on his chest. He lost a lot of blood. He's in a coma. They don't even know when he's going to wake him. I can't even bear to go see him. I hate myself.”

At the end of his words, a pause follows.

“I'm sorry; I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I don't think there's anything left to say.”

“We are pretty broken souls. We are both the same. Sitting here and waiting, not knowing if they will ever wake up. It's driving me insane,” he sighs, burying his face into his palms. “They are the strongest people we know, but they are in there, fighting for their lives, and we can't do anything to help or save them.”

Ciel nods. “It’s the worst kind of pain.”

They sit there, side by side on the cold hospital floor, both grieving in silence for the men who hold their hearts, too scared to hope and too in love to let go.

“We won't lose them,” Ciel mutters. “We won't lose the one person who ever made us feel sane, loved, and protected.”