Chapter 7

Reine I stared at the phone after Jax hung up. This man had a lot of nerve. I had wanted to cuss him out, ask him who he thought he was exactly. However, it would have been a dumb question. I did not know him well enough, but I knew that he would have given me the obvious answer to that question. He was Jax Coleman, and anything he wanted, he got. It was exasperating because I knew he would be right too.

I hated it. I hated that I was going to be indebted to this man forever simply because my dad had made a few—actually, a whole lot of bad decisions. It didn’t matter that we were going to sign a contract that would never let anyone know about the deal that had happened. He had the option of telling anyone he wanted to. Plus, I couldn’t figure out why, but his opinion of me actually mattered. For the life of me, I didn’t know why.

I didn’t know this man. He was nobody to me. I had met him just yesterday. It didn’t matter that he was the head of a renowned corporation or whatever. All that should matter to me was playing my part in whatever deal he had cooked up, taking the money, and solving my issues peacefully without getting myself involved in any kind of shady business.

I sighed. I didn’t know what I was going to tell Sandra. She was my friend, and she was the one who had even made me get into contact with Jax. But he had said not to tell anyone about the deal. I was going to have to think of a lie. I sighed again. Lying to my friend… was one of the things I absolutely avoided doing. I was going to have to look for a way to avoid her questions.

Sandra was smart though. She would figure out quickly enough that I was avoiding her questions. And she was going to know that something was up. And I was going to be leaving to see Jax, how would I explain all of that? I had already told her that I had not gotten the job, how would I explain to her that I had solved my family’s money issue without a job? Especially since I was going to live under her roof until I got myself on my feet.

All of this was very overwhelming, all the thoughts were choking me… suffocating me. It made me want to call Jax and tell him that I was no longer interested in his offer. But then, if I rejected it, how would I pay the bank off and stop the foreclosure notice I knew was imminent? How? What the hell was I going to do?

I needed a drink.

I stood up and walked around the room, sitting abruptly on the bed when I heard footsteps outside my room. It was Sandra, of course, and I didn’t want her to come and see me looking all anxious. I tried to compose myself and smooth my features out. It was futile I knew; Sandra could guess when there was something wrong with me. But still. I didn’t want to make it too obvious.

She knocked softly and I muttered, “Come in.”

Sandra walked in with an encouraging smile. I didn’t want her to pity me. I knew that my situation was extremely dire, but I didn’t need her to feel sorry for me. So, I placed a smile on my face, trying to convince her that I was fine.

“Hey, baby,” Sandra said, I looked up at her with an answering smile.

She came to the bed and sat next to me. I didn’t want to look at her so much because Sandra tended to guess that something was wrong just by looking into my eyes. But I also wanted to act as natural as possible so as not to clue her into anything. This was a huge dilemma, and I was already tired. I sighed and looked away.

“Babe I know how difficult it must be for you right now… but you’re strong. I trust you! You’re going to bounce back and you’re going to find an opportunity that is even more amazing than this one. I know it’s hard, but don’t give up, okay?”

I sighed at Sandra’s words. She said she knew how difficult it must be for me at that moment. But she didn’t! Sandra was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and it didn’t matter that we were best friends… I had always known that she was better off than I was, and I had gotten used to it. Sometimes, resentment had come into the picture… but I had killed it before it could turn into something terrible.

But now… I couldn’t help the ball of resentment that was growing. She was my best friend, and I would be indebted to her forever. But I hated how she assumed she knew how it felt to be in my shoes. I was selling my dignity away, my pride, the only things that I had left on this earth. I was selling them away to keep a legacy going, a legacy that I wasn’t even sure was going to benefit me in any way. Keeping the legacy going for my actions to be thrown back into my face? Nah. Sandra had no idea how difficult it was for me at that moment.

I didn’t say all of that though, the last thing I wanted was to clue her in with everything that was happening. So, I sighed, the nodded, still refusing to meet her eyes. There was an awkward silence, something that had rarely happened in the history of us being friends. I decided to break it. After all, there was no need to be mad at Sandra since she didn’t even know what she had done wrong.

“You don’t know how difficult it must be for me right now, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

Yikes! Even to my ears that had sounded so cold. The silence that I had been intending to break stretched itself into an even deeper chasm of awkwardness. I sighed.

Sandra’s voice was very soft when she finally spoke.

“I’m sorry if I sounded presumptuous. Of course, I have no idea what it feels like to be in your shoes… I was just trying to empathize with you because you’re my best friend. I am sorry if I offended you though babe. It wasn’t my intention in any way.”

I sighed. I had been doing a whole lot of that lately. When Sandra sounded so sincere, it was difficult for me to stay mad at her. “It’s okay, Sandra. I’m just pulled to the strings now. I’m looking for a solution and the slightest issue triggers me. I’m sorry for going off on you like that.”

No matter what, I loved Sandra. And she was not the cause of my problems. She didn’t need me to be transferring my anger to her, especially when she was just trying to make me feel better. And especially with how much she had helped me.

“It’s fine babe,” Sandra said. “I’m glad you told me that, so I know not to repeat it. And don’t worry. We’re going to find a solution.”

I felt like I was going to cry when she used we instead of you. I truly loved this girl. I turned towards her and hugged her tight. The confession was right there on the tip of my tongue. But I swallowed whatever I had to say and just hugged her.

“I love you. Thank you so much for all you do.”

“You do just as much for me so no need to thank me,” Sandra whispered back.

I shook my head silently, but I decided not to give her a response. We stayed like that for a while then I pulled away from her. I had to tell my dad that I had the solution to our problems. I mean, everything wasn’t completely confirmed. But the more time went on without me telling him anything, the more he madder he would get. The last thing I wanted was an onslaught of angry and despicable words coming at me when he called me. No thanks.

So, I said, “Babe, let me call my dad, okay?”

Sandra nodded, then tapped me on my back before standing. “I understand babe. Talk to you later, okay? If you need anything make sure to call me, okay?”

She was truly my best friend. I loved this girl so much. I nodded, unable to speak at the moment. I watched her as she walked out of the bedroom and sighed a little. I was dreading calling my dad. I already knew that all his responses to my efforts were going to break me down. I didn’t know why I tried, truly. After all these years of enduring all the hurt he dished out at me, I should have given up by now. But I was tied to him with some godforsaken sense of duty.

I wished I could kill it. I wished the resentment I felt for him on some days overpowered that stupid duty and the love I, unfortunately, felt for him. But I couldn’t force my feelings away. That was one thing Sandra didn’t understand. Yes, Youngstown was my hometown and I loved it. But if I was being honest, the real reason why I so wanted to be in that town and make my family business flourish again was my dad.

I wanted to put a smile on his face. I wanted him to be proud of me, I wanted to finally hear those words come out of his mouth. I looked at the phone and sighed again. Then I picked it up. I had stalled enough. I dialed my dad’s number and put the phone on speaker then placed it as far away from me as possible. I made random patterns on the bed as I waited for my dad to pick the phone. It rang for a few minutes before he actually picked up.

“Hello?” he answered in that gruff voice of his.

I swallowed to wet my already dry throat. “Hi, Dad.”

At least he had not snapped at me. For that, I was extremely grateful. But I wasn’t going to rejoice completely yet. My dad had a way of shocking people.

“What do you want, Reine?”

Oof, the politeness had been very short-lived as I knew it would be. So, I didn’t pay him any mind, just went on with what I wanted to say. “Dad, I found a job that pays me enough to settle most of our loans.”

I heard my father grunt. It was never a good sign, so I braced myself for the onslaught of hurtful words that was sure to come. Three, two, one, and scene…

“Most?” my dad asked in a loud voice. I cringed but stayed quiet knowing the man was definitely nowhere close to done with whatever he was about to say. “What do you mean by most, Reine? And what’s going to happen to the rest? You think your fairy godmother is gonna wave a magic wand and make the rest of the loans disappear? Let me burst your bubble. It won’t happen! So, you better look for a way to clear all of that fucking debt. I don’t care how you do it. Do you understand me?”

“Loud and clear, dad,” I said in a small voice, completely subdued.

“Good. Don’t call me if it’s to let me know dumb shit like this.”

He dropped. I let out a small, shocked laugh then took in a deep breath. Maybe it would be best for me to just hop into the shower and sleep. Maybe then the thoughts would not permeate my mind and I would not be sad for more than I had to. Hopefully, the stream of the shower was going to take away this sad feeling…