Chapter 15

And agonize I did.

I wondered what exactly Jax had meant by that. Did he appreciate me as friends? Or was it something more? I was so confused. I had to admit that the past few days had been amazing with him. But I felt a sense of foreboding like something was going to come and ruin everything.

And I was right.

My dad called me a few days after Jax’s cryptic words, and his first words were, “So you forgot me, huh? Went to the big city and forgot that you had a father you owe everything back here.”

My mood got ruined instantly. My dad had that thing about him that no one else could match, he could get me low with one word and in literal seconds. Which was why I avoided talking to him. I hated this feeling. Honestly, the more I thought about it, the more it made absolutely no sense that I still held him in so much esteem and that I was doing everything to make him proud of me.

“Dad—” I started, but I didn’t even get the chance to finish my sentence. He had already interrupted me.

“I knew this shit was going to happen. It was obvious. Did you think because I’m so far back here I wouldn’t see the pictures of you with that spoilt rich boy?”

I frowned a little. Spoiled rich boy? Then realization dawned. He was talking about Jax. I felt like my heart was going to sink in my chest. It was not normal how scared I was of my dad; I knew this much. Sometimes I asked myself whether I truly loved the man or if I was just using him and the approval I had not gotten yet to gain some kind of acceptance. I sighed. I didn’t think I would ever understand it.

“Look at you following directly in your mother’s footsteps. Whoring just like she did. I didn’t expect any better from you.”

I gasped. I didn’t think I would ever get used to my father’s cruel words. I had been resigned to hearing them, but it didn’t mean the impact was any less. It hurt me each time he spoke about me in such demeaning terms. But what hurt me most was how he spoke about my mother. I had not known her. But the little I knew of her made me believe that whatever my father was saying was because of pure spite.

“Dad, stop it,” I said quietly.

Many would find it hard to believe but this was my first outright rebellion against my father. I had never, in all my twenty-two years of being alive, spoken back to him, no matter what. I had never had the guts to oppose my father, and I didn’t know where these ones had come from all of a sudden.

My dad laughed. I knew it would have been a different story if I was actually with him, so I swallowed. I hated how much control he had over me. And I hated that to break out of that control would be the most difficult thing to do ever. And I also knew that that laugh was far from being an expression of humor. I was glad that, for now, I was as far away from him as I possibly could be.

“So, you also grew some wings, huh? Because you’re hanging out with some rich man’s kid? I’ll be here when he tires of you, whore.”

I flinched and closed my eyes. I wanted to talk back again but I knew that it would just mean another onslaught of hurtful words. So, I kept quiet, waiting for him to get to the point he wanted to make. I knew the major purpose of the call wasn’t just to call me a whore.

So, I asked, “What do you want, Dad?”

“What do I want? Don’t you think that was what you should have started with?” he asked, and I could hear the condescension in his voice even through the phone.

I didn’t say anything. I knew this cycle. I didn’t want to receive any more insults. I was tired.

“Did you forget the payment you were supposed to make this week? $5,000?” he asked.

I frowned a little, then realization dawned. I had forgotten actually. It had been a week and a few days, and I had been so disconnected from my life that I had almost forgotten about my problems, forgotten about the true reason why Jax and I were even going through all of this now.

“Give me a day, Dad. And I’ll send it immediately,” I said then I bit my lip. I knew that he was not going to take that sentence well. I put my hand on my chest as I waited for his response.

“A day?” he raged, and I closed my eyes in anticipation. “Reine, did you or did you not tell me you had found a solution to all our problems? Or was that another of your stupid promises you can’t accomplish?”

“Dad, I—” I started, and I was interrupted again.

“I don’t care what you have to say, Reine. I’m expecting the $5,000 by the end of today. And I don’t want to hear any excuses.”

I didn’t even have the time to respond; he had already hung up. The phone stayed on my ear for a few seconds after my dad hung up then I placed it on the bed. What I had been dreading was finally going to happen. I had to call Jax and tell him I needed money. Of course, that was what was supposed to happen, but I had not anticipated it happening so soon.

It had been a few days, but I already considered Jax as much more than the person who was going to take me out of this mess my dad had gotten me and him into. And asking him for money right now, I already knew that whatever opinion he had of me would drop immediately. I sighed. It seemed like it wasn’t only in Youngstown that my dating life was going to suffer because my dad was a chronic gambler and money waster. The sins of the father did follow the child and I was coming to realize that.

It was not that I thought Jax and I were dating. It was far from that. But he had said he appreciated me. And no matter how much that statement had confused me, I appreciated him as well. Jax was a wonderful person, I couldn’t deny. The little I had discovered about him showed that. I couldn’t even deny his appeal. That would be lying to myself. The man was quite literally the complete package.

I sighed. Maybe I should stop taking basic kindness and a few words of appreciation for anything more. He had not said anything concrete, so truly there was nothing between us. We had a contract that stipulated that I had the right to ask him for money. Because I was fulfilling a service for him, as mercenary as that sounded. So, I did not have to be scared to ask whatsoever I was asking from him. It was my right.

Yeah.

That pep talk totally didn’t work.

I took in a deep breath and fell on the bed. I wanted to let out a scream; I wanted to let my frustrations out. But I didn’t have that luxury. Crying would not solve a thing. I had to push myself to do whatever I needed to so that I wouldn’t have this helpless feeling ever again in my life. I was tired. I needed a break.

I sat up suddenly. After this evening, with how much Jax and I had spoken, I wasn’t going to ruin the atmosphere. I didn’t want to ask him in person, but I didn’t want to just sour everything up today either. I didn’t want his thoughts to go south completely. For once, I was going to ignore my father’s orders.

I was going to send the money the next day and there was nothing he was going to do about it.

I hoped.