Chapter 6
Throwing my head back finishing off my 3rd.. 4th? I shake my head and shrug my shoulder at my own thoughts allowing the dark liquid to burn as it trickles down my throat all the while her voice rang through my head..
“ I bet you would love that wouldn’t you “
I would love anything coming from that woman
The way she looked at me with her beautiful hazel, wide, doe- eyes even if her look was filled with spite, having her eyes on me made me go crazy inside....made me burn
No
Seeing her full rosey lips pierce together before she spoke to me with that fierce attitude of hers, the most I’ve ever seen in a woman...
Charles stop
Her smooth olive skin contrasting effortlessly with the pink dress she was wearing made me want to just reach my hand out and caress her to touch her delicate skin...feel the warmth that radiated off of her...
I smack my hand on the table roughly causing it to rattle my empty glass visibly frustrated with my thoughts, I feel so out of control.
“ Another one over here hey ! “
Rubbing my face I wait to be poured another before repeating what I did before in attempt to stop my mind from running. Looking around I lose my train of thought and sense of feeling. Losing the battle I was having with myself..
She is nothing to me. She will never be anything to me..
I grit my teeth, it’s obvious what our parents are trying to do. Wether they admit it or not wether Helena sees it or not. The disappointment I know my parents feel with me is becoming unbearable, it is eating away at me slowly, they don’t even trust me enough to find myself a wife ? So they feel desperate enough to set me up with their bestfriends daughter ? I scoff at my own thought rubbing a hand over my face once again. No woman deserves a man like me. A wasteful miscreant of a man like me… especially not Helena. There is no man deserving of Helena, perfection could'nt even begin to describe that woman that was oh so carefully, meticulously crafted. If I can’t even manage to keep my parents happy what makes them think it’s right to pawn me off on another family like that?
“ another on- “
“ Charles enough “
I feel a firm hand on my shoulder turning around to see my none other than my bestfriend, I just roll my eyes
“ William please I’m fine I know my limits “
He let out a sharp laugh before givinh my shulder a couple light hearted smacks
“ Well if you know your limits like you state so confidently that you do you would have stopped about 3 drinks ago “
Before I could even respond or even realize it William had picked me up off the chair and started walking me out of the bar.
“ Now correct me if I’m wrong but if I’m not mistaken you are to promenade in the morning yes ? “
I smack my hand on my face and groan loudly
I don’t even want to think about it, about her...
“ And I would even go as far to say that this person you are thinking about so much will be there, correct ? “
Stopping in my tracks I look at him holding my finger up to his face to let him know I’ve drawn the line there.
“…friend..you have no idea what you are talking about… “
I state in between my drunken hiccups...
William raises an eyebrow at his bestfriend that stands clearly intoxicated in front of him. Knowing what he knows about the man infront of him, It is puzzling to him why his friend does not take the chance in front of him As it is not of his character, he does not recognize this man in front of him. Charles has always longed for having a family, a wife to take care of. William looks at him and can see it in his eyes that his friend is battling with himself inside, one that is is afraid he is slowly losing...
“ Charles, let’s go home “
I don’t even question it and follow his lead. The pain inside me devouring me from my core. Maybe drowning myself in drinking was not the best decision, I will definitely be regretting this in the morning.
I will never be good enough
I see right through my parents game, how dare they think of me as such a fool. To believe I am worthy of a woman like Helena Humphrie wounds my ego. Nobody is good enough for a woman like Helena. Matter of fact, there is no other woman like Helena Humphrie.
“ Charles? Hello did you hear me ? “
Shooting my head to look at William I just raise my eyebrows at him complete oblivious of whatever it is he was speaking about before now. Without responding William just continues to walk while shaking his head.
“ Don’t slip up with this Charles, you just- “
“ No William, I get it you have your wife your beautiful children your beautiful home, you don’t think I want that you don’t think I-"
Hunching over in the middle of my speech I vomit at our feet emptying the contents of my stomach along with the words I was about to speak
“ Yeah…we can discuss this more another day my friend “
With that William picks me up once more throwing one of my hands over his shoulder and that is the last thing I remember.
I open my eyes and immediately regret every single life decision I’ve ever made leading up to this point. Shielding my eyes with my hand from the stinging sensation that comes with the brightness that fills up my room. I take a few deep breaths before attempting to open my eyes once more.
“ My Lord, Goodmorning “
Looking over at John, my valet. Nodding my head I can’t even muster up any words due to the pounding in my head, it just won’t allow me to.
“ Clothes have been set out my lord for this morning “
There it is, the reason behind this headache and nausea. Throwing myself back into bed in defeat.
“ And John, all the Humphries have all confirmed ? Each one of them ? “
John nodded his head
“ Each one of them my lord “
Sighing and preparing my mind for the day ahead of time the best I can before I get up.
Each one of them
I can’t stand to face her, to look at her, to even breathe the same air as her. I am not deserving. All the thoughts I had from the night before flood into my mind all at once. Obviously my attempts at avoiding that all being for nothing. This time instead of my just thinking about her I can feel her and see her, every little detail I had thought of before rushes back to my mind. I can see her in her dress, I can see her looking at me with her beautiful wide eyes and I can smell her....I want to taste her..
“ My Lord, you must be ready soon “
With out another response I push myself out of bed
“ let’s just get this over with “