Chapter 26
" Charles Helena, Charles Sinclair "
Before I had anytime to react or even respond the door to our carriage opened for us the exit as we had arrived. My mother and father were the first to exit the carriage and I hadn't realized I was still holding onto my sister.
" Are you ok Helena ? "
Letting go of her hand swiftly I just shot a small smile in her direction whilst avoiding eye contact so we could move on and just get this event over with. Exiting the carriage I noticed my mom was avoiding eye contact with me as well while she continuously fiddled with her necklace. Why hadn't she told me it was him that removed me from the carriage that day? I try to shake whatever feeling I was holding onto and just stand beside my family to pretend as if nothing was bothering me, no thoughts in my brain at all. I had an odd gut feeling that told me it was him to bring me into the Sinclair home that day...or maybe it was just the part of me that hoped he did. With my sister confirming it I wasn't sure how I felt then my mind is immediately flushed with the sight and smell of the bouquet of roses he had brought by the other day...did he feel as I did? I could smell the the delicate freshly blossomed flowers as if they were directly Infront of me, like they were leaving a light kiss on my nose. Then my mind began to try to imagine him carrying me out of the carriage and how he managed that ? Charles is known for his wide stature and god like build, it is no surprise he was the brother to carry me into the home considering he is possibly the only man capable of doing so...
" Helena ? "
My eyes shoot up to my sister, I hadn't realized I was following my family so aimlessly and I was too consumed by my thoughts I didn't hear a word any of them said. Noticing it was just us to and my parents had gone off to greet others I look back to my sister. Eyes wide I pierce my lips and make a gesture towards my sister as if asking her to repeat herself. She shakes her head before proceeding.
" I just wanted to make sure we were really ok, I was telling you how I truly am just worried for you "
" Yes sister were ok and there is nothing that should bring you worry right now I can assure you I am fine "
Emilia seems like she has much more to say but is just choosing to bite her tongue. I don't press it and allow her to brush it off. We had begun to make our way over to a group of my sisters...friends. During these events I normally choose to stay to myself or close by my mom, I wasn't very social.
" Sister I think I'm going to go find mom "
she stops dead in her tracks and grabs onto my hand
" Helena stop being so afraid, they would love to get to know you and putting yourself out there wont hurt you one bit "
Not giving me any time to argue or disagree in the slightest she holds on tight and continues toward the group of girls. Looking to the three well dressed, gorgeous girls I become self conscious almost instantly. As their eye sight caught my sister they followed her arm to see whom it was she was dragging along with her I audibly gulped as their sight landed on me. The girl that stood in the middle dressed in a deep blue dress with her golden blonde hair pinned and decorated perfectly was my once childhood best friend, Rose, she was laughing until her eyes met mine. We drifted apart almost instantly at the beginning of our very first season, she and her family seen it all as a great competition between all us girls, the marriage market, which is why I never understood why I came off as a threat. I haven't spoken to her since, or anyone really for that matter. As we grew closer to the group I noticed the ladies whispering to each other already and I felt my face flush with heat.
" Ladies hello hello nice to see you all "
I remained silent beside my sister as they all began to greet each other praying to whomever that I would magically turn invisible.
" Emilia, nice to see you as well and Helena "
I raise my head to Rose whom spoke first and share a light smile trying to keep this entire interaction to a minimal.
" All of you ladies look lovely today "
It felt as if their eyes were burning holes into my soul and I could feel them evaluating every detail of me and my dress. I tried not to show any fear... I feel like they could sense it.
" Why thank you Helena you as well "
The ladies immediately exchanging looks before letting a low snicker escape that made my heart drop to my stomach... I look to Emilia who seemed to have not pick up on what I did my head immediately moves to Rose who spoke once again
" Oh ladies quit, it is important we are always kind.."
my face softened at her words
"..especially to those that have BIGGER problems than us all "
the girls began to laugh all together I wasted no time looking to Emilia to see her reaction as I did not care, excusing myself immediately I back up and began to walk aimlessly all while trying to maintain a calm act...my size has always been an issue for me surrounded by thin petite women I knew I did not meet the beauty standard others expected me to. Men did not look in my direction the way they looked to the taller more fragile women, the ones that looked almost as if they have skipped a meal or two. While I knew from the begining this would be a big problem for me when it came to finding a husband I just never truly chose to confront it. Valuing beauty in the way I am well educated and my ability in the arts, I figured that would at least give me some sort of a fighting chance. I pause and begin to look around realizing I have wondered into a secluded part of the Queens garden all while taking in my surroundings I feel the tears begin to run down my eyes before I look up to the sky. Holding my hands out and resting my eyes shut I let the sun soak in all of my sorrow all of my pain before hearing a deep but gentle voice call from behind me...
" Helena "