The realization slammed into me that I needed a friend, someone to talk to, to help distract my mind—my heart.
Thirty minutes later, I'd changed clothes, washed my face, and cleaned my teeth. As well, pulled a brush through my hair, avoiding my eyes in the mirror as I'd done so, for I didn’t want to see what was in their depths.
Minutes later, I was walking into the bar.
Over the next hour, as we worked, Ginger and I girl talked. We discussed everything under the sun, as knocking back the occasional shot we became tipsy and giggly. Senseless, non-specific conversation flowed between us, something I was in need of. After a while, she finally broached the subject of Torin and I, questioning, “So, I saw you going after Tonya last night, then follow Satan out. How’d that come out?”
With a slight hiccup, I muttered, “He had sex with me.”
Shock held her words hostage for a matter of seconds before she gasped, “Come again?”
I gave a shrug. “I mistakenly thought he was making love to me through the night, this morning he made it clear he’d fucked me.”
“Wait, hold up. This all went down in HIS room?” she exclaimed.
Picking up my shot glass, I drank the tequila within its depths before nodding, “Yeah, and I am so in trouble, Ging. I love the man and it’s definitely not returned.”
“I wouldn’t be so rash in my decision, sweetheart, whether he made love or he just fucked you, you accomplished something no one else has. He has NEVER let a girl into his room,” she told me.
###
A week had passed, and I still hadn’t seen, nor heard from Torin. Ginger had told me he’d left that morning after he’d left me sitting alone in his bed, and had yet to return. She didn’t seem too worried at his absence, so I tried not be either. I was mad and hurt, and probably shouldn’t give a damn, but I did.
A few more days passed and Miss Rub-one-out—Tonya—had finally confronted me, and we had a small cat fight, and of course the men had been absolutely glued. With both of us bloody and missing some hair and fingernails, we finally called a truce. Later, when no one was around, she came to me and asked if we could talk. I’d learned Tonya wasn’t what she seemed, and was fucking smart—an anthropology major—and that she had no designs on Torin—her interest lay within Rook—she’d just been using Torin to make Rook jealous.
I was dealing with total confusion over Torin. He’d finally returned, but we had fallen into some kind of...hell, I didn't know what we'd fallen into. We'd become like ships passing in the night.
With each encounter, I further felt my heart shatter for once again he was being aloof and distant. He definitely wasn’t the man who had completely blown my mind in the bedroom, but he wasn’t Satan either, and it scared the shit out of me. It was like he was shutting down.
Two days later, though, I received some relief from where my thoughts had been carrying me when Tonya had asked me to help her paint her room. Surprisingly, Rook had supplied the paint and supplies, and now the walls were a soft robin-egg blue. As well, she had unearthed some paisley print material from God only knew where and had designed, then sewn her curtains—another surprise. After hanging the curtains, she stood back, chewing on her lip as she appraised them. After a few seconds, she nodded. “They’ll do,” she laughed.
On the fifth day after Torin’s return he caught me coming out of Tonya’s room, and reaching up and he rubbed at the back of his neck. “We need to talk.”
Giving him a look, I muttered, my tone sarcastic, “Ya think?”
Continuing to rub at his neck a few minutes longer, he finally dropped his arm and muttered, “Look, I know I can be an ass. For that, I'm sorry, but I'm dealing with some shit right now. I know that's no excuse for the way I've been acting, but I'm not being very mature right now. In fact, I'm acting like a fucking baby over it.”
Then, without ever taking his eyes off me and his words hesitant, he offered, “How about I fix you dinner as an apology.”
For reals? Shovel food down my throat and all will be better? No! Not. Even. Close! Nonetheless, I was hungry, and I hadn't had a chance to say what I wanted to say.
With a shrug, I murmured, “Better be something fucking fantastic, because you weren't only an ass...you were a super-ass!
A slight grin curving up the edges of his lips at my words, Torin nodded, then, murmured, “Got, ya—one super, fucking fantastic dinner, coming up from the super-ass!”
As I came up next to him, Torin placed his hand on the small of my back and I stiffened, unable to help the small shiver of awareness that raced across the area his hand touched.
What the hell was I doing, I wondered. Being betrayed by your body is what! My inner voice mocked. Your mind may be fighting it, but your body likes what he makes it feel!
Growling at the voice, I gave a silent snap of, Shut the fuck up, will ya? I know what he makes me feel and that's the whole goddamn problem!
Of course, that annoying little voice returned with its own little snappish. Yeah, and you and I both know that if he leaned over and kissed you right now, you'd melt right into him! With a groan, I whispered, “Shut. UP! For once, shut…the…hell up!”
As we came to a stop before my room, Torin glanced down at me. “Did you say something?”
“No, no. Sorry, thinking out loud,” I mumbled, embarrassed that he'd heard me.
The walk to my room, I’d been cursing my inner voice. Now all I could think about was Torin kissing me and how much I wanted it.
Damn that voice for putting ideas in my head!
I couldn't help my reaction to the dirty thoughts now dancing around in my mind, ones that were causing a physical manifestation, and breathing kicking up, a throb of want fired to life between my thighs. My fingers curled into my palms as I tried to quail the need to reach up, grasp two handfuls of Torin’s hair, then jerk his mouth down to mine.
With the images that were flashing in my head, my panties grew even wetter and shifting, I tried to ease some of the ache of need. So, wasn't happening! I was receiving no quarter as it damn near screamed its growing hunger. Heat infused me and I glanced up at Torin. In the next instant, he was leaning forward, and shoving open my door, he walked me backward through it. Slamming it shut behind us, he pushed my back up against the wall, his mouth swooping down to take mine, at the same time, he slid one hand down the back of my thigh, as lifting my leg he encircled his waist with it and pushed into me, grinding his erection against me, groaning, “Do you realize I could smell the instant you got aroused? Jesus, but you're driving me fucking insane!”
Reaching up, I pulled his mouth back down to mine, and Torin, maneuvering us until I was no longer against the wall, buried his fingers within my hair, taking and giving as our lips and tongues danced together. Neither of us broke the kiss as he began walking me backward toward the bed, his hands roaming the length of my back, over my butt and back up again, his touch possessive and demanding.
When the back of my knees hit the bed, he lowered me onto the mattress, his larger body climbing on top of mine. It was much...much later before we ate.