Chapter 86

Chapter 86
Sera POV

I sat there for a long time after he stopped speaking, my breath still shaking, my heart pounding in my chest like it was trying to break its way out. I could still feel his hand on my throat. The warmth. The pressure. The fear.

I didn’t want to look at him.

But I could feel his eyes on me. They were heavy and conflicted.

“Sera…” His voice was rough and low, like something was tearing inside him. “Please… look at me.”

I didn’t move.

I didn’t think I could.

Then the bed dipped as he shifted closer. Not close enough to touch me but close enough to make the air between us heavy, suffocating.

“I didn’t mean it,” he whispered. “I swear to you… I wasn’t awake. I didn’t know what I was doing.” His breath shook. “I would rather cut off my own hands than hurt you.”

The words hit something inside me. But the memory of his grip still burnt along my skin.

“What if you do it again?” My voice came out thin and unsteady. “What if next time… you don’t wake up?”

He inhaled sharply, like the words physically struck him.

“I won’t.” His voice was fierce now, almost desperate. “I won’t. I will control it. I will control myself.”

“You say that,” I whispered, shaking my head. “But I saw you. I saw your face. You didn’t look like you were asleep. You looked like…”

I swallowed hard.

“Like you wanted to kill me.”

His jaw clenched. His hands trembled.

And then suddenly he was in front of me on his knees. The Alpha. On his knees.

“Sera… please.” His voice cracked. “Don’t say that. Don’t look at me like I’m a monster.”

He reached for me slowly and carefully, but I still flinched.

He froze.

His eyes closed, pain passing over his face like a shadow.

“I am trying,” he breathed. “I am trying so hard not to lose myself… but I can’t.” His voice broke completely. “I can’t lose you. The word stabbed through me.

“I don’t know what to do,” I whispered. “I don’t know how to breathe around you. I don’t know where I end and the bond begins. I don’t know if any of this is real.”

His hand finally reached me, touching my cheek so gently it made my throat tighten.

His voice dropped to a rasp.

“It’s real,” he said. “Whatever this is… whatever we are… it’s real.”

I didn’t push him away this time when he leaned forward.

His lips brushed mine softly at first and trembling.

But then the fear, the confusion, the need, and the bond rose all at once, crashing through both of us. His hands tangled in my hair. Mine gripped his shoulders. Our breaths tangled. Our bodies pulled tighter, closer, as if separating was no longer an option.

“Tell me you’re mine,” he murmured against my mouth, voice shaking. “Tell me.”

“I don’t know,” I breathed.

That made something snap inside him.

His mouth crashed into mine, hungry, desperate, consuming. His hands pulled me against him, and I grabbed onto him just as tightly, because I didn’t know how to stand on my own anymore. The fear twisted with heat, the panic melted into longing, and the need to breathe turned into the need to feel.

It was all too much.

His lips moved along my jaw, my neck, and the mark he’d left. Heat surged through me, overwhelming, drowning. I gasped, fingers curling into him, pulling him even closer even though my mind screamed that I should push him away.

“Tell me,” he breathed against my skin, voice rough and ragged. “Tell me you’re not leaving.”

“I…” The word broke apart in my throat. “I don’t know how to leave.”

His breath shuddered.

The bond pulsed hot, aching, possessive.

We fell into each other messy, desperate, frightened, needing more and hating how much we needed it. The room spun, the world bled away, and all that was left was him: his heat, his breath, his voice, his hands, the mark burning on my skin, and the wild pull of him inside me.

My body was still humming, flushed, trembling from the way he touched me… But my heart was curled up tight, recoiling, whispering warnings I didn’t want to hear. I hated that my body answered him so easily. I hated that the bond made it feel inevitable, like I was built to fit against him, to melt into him, to be his.

I hated that part of me wanted it.

His fingers traced my spine slowly, almost absentmindedly, like he was memorising me: skin, bone, breath, soul. Like he was terrified I would disappear if he stopped touching me for even a moment.

But the more he held on, the more something inside me slipped away.

I lifted my head slowly and looked at him.

His eyes were soft now, exhausted, still clouded with the remnants of fear and desire. He looked at me like I was something precious. Something breakable. Something he was terrified to lose.

And somehow… that only made the ache sharper.

I felt my throat tighten, my voice a thin whisper as the words slid out of me before I could stop them.

“You’ll be my undoing.”

His hand stilled on my back.

“Sera…”

He said my name like it was a vow and a plea and a curse all at once.

But I couldn’t stop now. My chest felt way too full right now.