Chapter 11

Nicol

The dancing classes went well as always. I normally just sit with the other parents and chat but today my head was going a hundred miles an hour thinking about Nicolas and what his next step will be. I was so worried I mean he has all the money in the world he could make my life a living hell. My eye caught something the ballet teacher was teaching Nikki I didn’t agree with, that was not how it was done. But I gave up this side of me when I got pregnant, I can’t go in there and interfere nor should I. I just left it I mean she was the teacher I’m a washed out wanne be dancer. Yes, that is what I thought of myself but if you have to put food on the table you need to decide what is important pipe dreams or real money and for Nikki and I, I chose real money. That is why when I left Nicolas, I moved into a small crappy apartment and started to waitress and went to nursing school when I was off, for my maternity leave, I wasn’t gone that long. I still have some of my parent’s money left and I tried to safe all the tips I got so I could get a babysitter and be able to finish my nursing diploma and start to work. Luckily my mom and dad had a friend that worked at Bellevue and when they passed away, he told me to call him any time I needed help. So, when I finished my diploma, I swallowed my pride and called him. And that is how I got my position at the hospital but I did ask him that he shouldn’t help me any further in my career I wanted to get promotions on my own merits. He at least listened to my wishes or so I think.

When the dancing classes where finished Nikki and I walked back to the apartment. She was such a happy kid I can’t actually believe how lucky I am. Yes, she was a fussy baby and had colic but the nights I thought I will never get through them I got through which means it will never be able to be without Nikki ever. I decided to treat us to a Pizza, “Really mom we’re going to eat Pizza?” to say this doesn’t normally happen is an understatement but after the 2 days I had I needed some comfort food. We got a deep-dish pepperoni pizza. When we got home, I poured myself a glass of wine, I might have more than this one glass tonight but I’ll wait for Nikki to go to bed before I pour myself another glass. “Mom, are you okay?” she asked me shocked because I was drinking wine. “Yes, angel why are you asking?” “You normally just drink wine when you had a bad day? Did you have a bad day?” I didn’t know what to answer her so I just said “No I’m just in the mood for wine.” Nikki decided on a Christmas movie and we made ourselves comfortable in front of the TV. We ate our pizza’s and watched the movie before the movie was finished Nikki was sleeping already. I picked her up and carried her to her room. When I was sure she was out I poured myself another glass of wine and drank it while looking at the TV I wasn’t watching anything I was just staring at it. Thinking of a blond man with piercing blue eyes.

The next morning Nikki and I slept in it was our routine, Sunday’s we sleep late. I got up but a bundle of washing in the washing machine, I got in the shower and finished getting ready. When I was done it was almost 11 and Nikki was still sleeping, this was not normal. I went to her room and when I touched her head she was burning up. “Angel” I tried to wake her “Angel wake up.” She open her eyes but even her eyes where heavy she was really not feeling well. “What’s wrong angel?” “My head is hurting mom.” I went to the first aid kit and got her some paracetamol, hoping it will break the fever. “Drink this.” I gave her the meds. Then I went to get a cold cloth. I hated when she was sick it doesn’t happen often but when it happens, she normally ends up in the hospital with pneumonia. I press the cloth to her forehead, she pulled away. “It’s cold mom.” “Just keep it on angel we need to break your fever.” She laid with the cloth on her head for a while I took the cloth and wet it again and put it back on her. It wasn’t long before she started to cough. ‘And so, it begins’ I thought. At least I had a medical aid or else I would have been in so much trouble with the hospital bill. If she gets admitted now this will be the 3rd time this year with the same diagnoses. I know what to do by now but for some reason it doesn’t help and we ended up at the hospital every time. Why I don’t get her bag and go straight to the emergency room I wouldn’t know maybe the nurse in me wants to be able to get her healthy myself.

That night I slept on the floor next to her bed when her fever is this high and she coughs she normally stops breathing and I need to be with her. That night her fever went over 102 degrees this was not normal. I called an Uber, got her dressed wrapped her in a blanket and carried her to the Uber. “Bellevue hospital please.” I told the Uber driver. She started to cough again. The Uber driver started to stress and drive faster he stopped right in front of the Emergency Room. He jumped out and opened my door for me. As I carried her in one of the night nurses recognized me and ran with a bed. “Nicol what happened?” “It’s Nikki she’s struggling to breath her fever is over 102 degrees and she’s coughing.” “Let’s get her settled then we will call the doctor.”