Him or us

Meredith's POV:

With Wyn's visit, a wake up call came along with it. She's definitely got a point. It was past midnight when she implied that she's not going to stay and I was in despair of having her spend the night with me. We've devoured the icecream and I can now conclude that it does help an aching heart get better. A little but not too much. The cherry on top is having a sister-like figure to talk to.

"Do you have to go?" I pout as I walk her to her car.

"Yes, don't miss me that much." She insisted sternly, "once again, heed my advice---at the end of the day, you alone can gauge the feelings you have. Your position right now is critical and crucial, this is the part where you cannot afford to make mistakes. What you felt is nothing compared to a real heartbreak, enjoy it."

"Enjoy it?" I sputtered, "you said so, yourself, this isn't a proper heartbreak and I've drank a lot of booze last night and ate a lot of chips and ice cream today. Now, I don't want to know what a legitimate heartbreak feels."

Her answer was a chuckle, a hearty one that instanly woke up my other neighbors. I know she woke them up because their lights opened and we exchanged knowing glances. I wonder why Wyn had so many to say about relationships when she haven't volunteered any information about her relationship status. One thing is for sure, I don't see a wedding band and women don't necessarily remove theirs like men when they go out.

Wyn has made up her mind and I am not in the position to impose that she stays. I kissed her on the cheek and hugged her goodbye but promised to keep my shit intact tomorrow. The funny thing is, I did not know that women are resilient and we have the ability to mourn and grieve our hearts out for a specific time and be on our feet and out and about the following day as if it never happened.

I turn around to go back inside the house when I felt that someone was watching me from a far. I looked around to scan our already sileny neighborhood buts saw no one, maybe it was just my imagination, brain freeze reacting late. Dismissing the ridicuous idea, I proceeded inside, pausing in the three steps to admire the life that I have now and what awaits me if I keep my end of the bargain with Gustav.

Freedom.

"Hey, penny for your thoughts?" Dixon said which startled me, almost to the point of throwing a punch where he was standing. "Stop doing that!"

"Whoa! One more inch and you could have sent me to the ER and made me a new nose because these pretty boy here can't afford to lose his handsome looks."

Still feeling that someone is watching us, I locked the door with haste and pulled the curtains close, that way, whoever was out there gets zero visibility. "Not my fault," I marched to the kitchen to handle the dishes. "What are you doing here?"

"Duh, I live here."

"I mean, up and awake and currently talking to me." I want to throw the glass I had in my hand but it's breakable so, not happening. "Shouldn't you be asleep by now?"

Dixon blew raspberries and as he did, memories of him doing the exact gesture flooded my brain. It was the same gesture but different Dixon now. I hate to admit it, but for an almost fourteen year old boy, he's taller than me by a few inches and I dread what it's going to be like after he stops spurting growth. Back then, our kitchen is small , had limited food handy and we have to wait before using the sink because the space is fit for a single person to walk comfortably.

I wonder if he's seeing any girls from him school now and if ever he did, what are my thoughts on this?

There's nothing more pleasant and akward to talk about in times like this than boys and girls in our lives. Should I bring it up? Maybe not now, so I focused myself on clearing the dishes that we used while we 'girl talked'. Behind me is the suspicion that Dixon did not sleep and had heard snippets of conversation and was now wanting some word with me.

Sighing, I swallow my pride and let him win. "What?"

"What do you mean, what?"

"Cut me some slack, you've been oggling at me from where you are standing. If you need cash just tell me and be gone. Let me wash in peace."

"Nah, I don't need cash."

"Then, out with it."

"Fine," this time, he sighed. "I heard you and Wyn..."

"Eavesdropping is never nice, you know that." I cut him off.

"That was technically not eavesdropping when you guys can't tone it down!"

Dammit, he's got a point.

"You heard?"

"Loud and clear." He mumbled.

"You said only snippets."

"Because if I say I heard the whole conversation, you'd only tell me to shut the fuck up and mind my own business."

Which is true. My brother knows how secretive I am when it comes to finances and my personal life. Well, haven't that ship sailed a long time ago? He's the reason why we are in this mess and I think it's high time that he watch his own back now and that it's high time that my baby sitting ends. I have to embrace the fact that he will never be the same child I vowed to protect.

Perhaps reading what I was thinking, Dixon hugged me from behind. His developing muscles are hardened now. He's a growing man and I can't help but be humbled that we've gone a long way now.

"Meredith, I am sorry about letting Conrad in. I really like him for you."

I chuckled, "I know, this is the first time you welcomed a man into our home with arms wide open."

"I am also sorry that you are having second thougts about him because of me."

"No," I mumbled, "that's not it. Between you and him, I want you to know that I would always, always choose you."