Chapter 356: No.. we're a family

River POV

Finn has a new scar running from the side of his nose stopping just before his top lip. It looks sexy on him, there's also a scar about a inch long running vertically down towards his eyebrow. His eyes are what I can't turn away from, the grays not as bright as I once remember it but he looks happy and hopeful in this picture. I run my fingers along his face on the screen. Sheldon wipes my face lightly then he wipes his own.

"He looks happy in this one. This one is going on my wall at home. Lucky's always bragging about how he is going to get the best picture with Finn when he comes back, since he's the only one that doesn't have one now and I have to agree I think this is my favorite one so far." I say as the tears fall harder and faster.

I gasp when I see Sheldon and Finn together. It's a beautiful picture neither of them knowing the picture was being taken. Their heads are together just looking at each other. Sheldon's on a stretcher of some sort and Finn's kneeling beside him, their heads pressed together tightly. I can see it, I can see the love between them. I hug the screen to my chest and cry "This is my favorite one."

Sheldon pulls me from Lucky's chest and on to his.

"We'll get him back won't we Sheldon?" I ask sobbing in to his chest. Lucky starts to get restless so Sheldon moves me in between them.

Lucky's arms wrap around me tightly from behind, Sheldon does the same pulling my face into his chest tightly.

"I'll find him Enchantress." Lucky mumbles behind me.

I roll over and kiss his lips. "Lucky I need you here with me." I cry holding on to him tightly.

I can hear him crying "I had him." Over and over with a soft broken breath "I had him."

"We'll find him." Is all I can say.

Denalii POV

We've been here for what feels like forever but it's only been a week. I splash water on my face, my face is healed from all the bruising now from the beating I received from Pickle the week before. My side is still green and yellow where my ribs are still healing. She don't remember what was said or what I did but I do and the guilt is killing me. I can barely look at her now and she doesn't even know why. The worst is how Pickle looks at me the way he watches me around her now like I can't be trusted.

God I'm such a fuck up! I should be out there and Finn should be home with her. I fucking love her so much I can't breath when I'm not with her.

Everytime I close my eyes now all I can see is the look on her face as my hand connects with her cheek. I fucking lost it and I fucking hit her. I hit her!

"Are you okay son?" My dad says from the other side of the door. I splash my face again hoping to hide my guilt. I quickly chug back some whiskey from my flask before shoving it back in my pocket.

He knocks again "Fuck hold on!" I yell. I'm too wound up today. I need a gym before I snap at everyone.

"Son." My dad says placing his hand on my shoulder as I come out "What do you need?" He asks handing me a coffee.

"A time machine." I mumble as I take the coffee and start walking away.

"Nalii bear will you come take a picture with us please." River asks me. I run my hand through my hair.

"Come over by me." She says trying to take my hand. I pull my hand away and move to Kenny's side. They take the picture and everyone starts grabbing their bags. Mumford is finally coming home. His weight is good and he is healing well. No one can answer our questions about Finn and if I had my fucking leg still I would have left already on my own if needed to go find him.

"Denalii can we talk please." River says coming over by me.

"I'm sorry that I don't remember what I did but I'm really sorry, please bear please talk to me." She says trying not to cry. God I'm a piece of shit.

"River I told you it wasn't you. It was me and I just need time." I lift my hand to push my hair back and she moves back a little and flinches.

She doesn't know why she does it now around me and when she does she gets sad and blames her self driving a bigger stake in my heart.

"I'm sorry my love. I had a bad night it's not you." She says holding her hand out for me to take. My hands are shaking with anger now. Not at her but at myself I don't know how much more of this I can take. I squeeze her hand softly.

I kiss her forehead as I say "It wasn't you. I'm so sorry." She looks sad as I pull away from her. Pickle looks at me like he wants to beat my ass again.

"Denalii come help me." Lucky yells. His right eye has recovered very well but his left is still healing from his stroke.

"What do you need my brother." I ask him.

"I need you Denalii. I need you to come home with us please. I don't know what happened while I was gone but please forgive her and come home." He say almost begging.

I take a deep breath in, he can't be stressed and when he is he gets confused. How do I tell him I'm the stress no one wants around.

"I'm probably going to go back to the compound with Sheldon for a little while to make sure he gets settled. I'm still going to take Annie and Colt for the week though so don't worry."

"No, he's Finn's now too which means he belongs with us at home. His home is with us now." Lucky says getting agitated. I could see the stress and worry in his eyes. Fuck! Of course I'm fucking it up again.

"Hey Lucky look at me. Just breathe your getting upset it's just for a little while okay." He starts shaking his head.

"No we're a family. I know I couldn't bring him back but we all need to be together now for him for them both. I got that bigger bed you wanted." He's shaking now and and I can see his upset. I cup his face "Hey just breath brother."

"Lucy just wants him close for a little while. I'll be there to help him and then I'll come home." I tell him knowing it's a lie, I'm not coming back. I can't go back. I don't deserve forgiveness and I won't hurt them anymore.

"What happened?" Pickle asks rushing up to us.