Chapter 330: Dream me could never compete with real me

River POV

Lucky pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses it "I need to change and I'm grabbing something you need." I give him a weak smile.

I look at Pickle sadly I cup his face before I lean to him and kiss him. I wrap my arms around his neck "Pickle I love you. Just in case I don't wake up again, I want you to know how much I love you and thank you for everything that you've done. I've had more love and happiness the last two years with you and the guys then I have ever had in my life." I kiss him soft just a short kiss that lingers.

"Kitten. Don't talk like that. It will be okay, we'll call some places in the morning and get some help." He says kissing my cheeks then my lips.

"I'm scared Luca I'm so terrified. This is seeming more and more like the dream and the other my reality. I'm confused, I feel strange like I don't belong in this body." I sob and hold his shirt as I cry into his chest.

"I just want to have my family back. I want Finn home. I want to be a family again." I hear my phone chime across the room somewhere.

I jump when Lucky throws him self on to our bed. He grabs me from Pickle pulling me up to lean against the headboard. He drapes his arm around my shoulders putting my laptop on my lap, it's on a video message.

Pickle slides next to me. He picks up my hand wrapping his hand around mine squeezing it gently. I reach over and press play. I smile as I watch the last video that Finn sent with him and Denalii laughing and playing around. I can hear

Mumford and Tokash's voices yelling something in the back ground. I cry softly as I touch his face.

Then my mind goes to that horrible video of them sticking a iron to his face. I tremble as I cry.

"It's okay my love, we can watch it later." Pickle says kissing my cheek. I yawn and look at Lucky then Pickle as I squeeze their hands.

"Can you tell us what it feels like when you lose time, I guess that's what I'll call it." Lucky says with a short laugh.

"This time. I remember Jasper yelling at me about his sister. He kept asking me questions and bring up stuff I didnt want to remember. I was terrified but Carter stood up for me telling him to stop. They started fighting so I moved over to where Pickle was laying on the bed, I crawled in to his arms. I don't even remember leaving there or anything after that. Then Annie crying and asking for help. She grabbed my face like Lucky does with a firm hold and she got in my face and told me to focus on her voice. She's so amazing and I don't want to miss it. I don't want her to just know me like that. I don't remember waking up in between those two times but you all tell me I did. What was I just like a empty body moving around? Oh god like a fucking zombie?" I can't help it I start crying again. I've never cried this much in my life.

Pickle pulls me to his chest "We would lead you places if we didn't move you, you would just lay in bed with your eyes open. We just did regular things, we sat outside with you on our bench watching our daughter play while I held your hand, That's one of my favorite. You woke up and chased and played with the girls for like twenty minutes then you asked for water. I went to the gym and was back in less then two minutes and you were gone again."

I cry more. I'm just wondering through my life and I have no memory's of it.

"Did I say anything? Move on my own or anything?" I ask getting angry at myself.

"You screamed sometimes. Sometimes you would mumble things. Oh and my favorite you fought Krazien when him and the girls came to see you." Pickle says and they both laugh.

Pickle kisses my cheek.

"Wait Krazien was here?"

"I have a video. You smoked him baby." Lucky laughs long and hard making me laugh too.

"Yeah he was worried about you. Jasper punched him then six hours later you fucked him up." I laugh and smile. Pickle hands me my phone.

ME- I heard you came to see me. Thank you. I love you. I forgive you. Call me tomorrow you asshole.

KRAZIEN- Your awake! Thank god! Baby I've missed you. I'm sorry I left you like that but the press was getting out of hand. I love you Blondie xoxo.

KRAZIEN- We'll be back home in a few weeks. Mckenzie has decided to split her time between vegas and texas. I really love her Blondie. I want her forever. Willow isn't that bad either lol. She says hi. I'll let you rest. I've really missed you River.

ME- I can't wait to see the three of you. She's a keeper for sure. I didn't mind our time with willow ;) I miss you too bestie xoxo.

"Do you feel better?" Lucky asks picking up my hand. I shake my head.

"Yes and No. I'm so confused, nothing makes sense. I can't tell what's really happening or what's being made up by my mind." I look at Lucky. He grabs my face kissing me hungrly letting out a small growl whispering quietly in my ear. "I'm real." He says as he kisses my neck "Enchantress everything I said in there I ment. I love you." He says kissing me hard, moving his fingers through my hair. He swirls his tongue in my mouth and my body shifts closer to him. He grabs my waist and slowly pulls me to his lap. Making me moan lowly as a flash of heat spreads through my body almost curling my toes.

"Dream me could never compete with real me." He says with a wink making me laugh.

"Oh god." Pickle says rolling his eyes at him.

"I love you Lucky" I kiss him softly. Then I look over at Pickle. I grab his shirt pulling him to me.

"Pickle I love you honey. Your what keeps me breathing." I kiss him hard and he's a little stiff.

I lightly brush my tongue across his lips. He breathes out deeply and pulls me tight into him.

He takes over quickly pushing his tongue to dance with mine. Butterflies explode in my belly and I turn to mush in his arms. I lightly moan in his mouth as his fingers trail up and down my arm. I lift his shirt over his head. I touch his chest and I blush as a toe curling shiver passes through me. I pull away breathless. I watch as my fingers work themselves up and down his sexy hard body.

They feel different in real life